Search found 159 matches

by Collectonian
March 17th, 2011, 10:03 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: REDEMPTION FOR LIARS - Edited
Replies: 11
Views: 2238

Re: Query: REDEMPTION FOR LIARS - Edited

I think your new version is much better. For wanting to include all the characters, remember the query doesn't need to give the final event, it just needs to entice them to read to find out what happened. :-) I did leave me with questions, though....if he is an FBI agent, why is he trying to steal b...
by Collectonian
March 14th, 2011, 2:56 pm
Forum: Town Hall
Topic: Forum Suggestions Box
Replies: 98
Views: 89272

Re: Forum Suggestions Box

I reported the first two that hit, including one last night. I figured the admins would just ban the account, but looks like he's still at it and now using some automated script to keep going :-(
by Collectonian
March 14th, 2011, 10:00 am
Forum: Town Hall
Topic: Forum Suggestions Box
Replies: 98
Views: 89272

Re: Forum Suggestions Box

Considering the 19 or so spam posts the guy above has made in the last 24 hours, I'd suggest better forum moderation and spam watching :-)
by Collectonian
March 12th, 2011, 10:32 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Pronunciation Guides in Novels
Replies: 17
Views: 2833

Re: Pronunciation Guides in Novels

I think it would be very helpful to have a pronunciation guide. I find it to be a nice touch, and have appreciated them in other novels I've read with names I'm not familiar with or that were made up (a la Watership Down ) Sadly, much of the country has little exposure to Native American words anymo...
by Collectonian
March 11th, 2011, 11:29 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Urban Fantasy Query
Replies: 21
Views: 4000

Re: YA Urban Fantasy Query REVISED

I'm a bit confused now...in the earlier version its implied she helped him some how. Now it seems like he didn't need any help from her at all as he was able to free himself and heal his ankle alone, so why would he answer any questions for her or do his healing trick in front of her? I'm also wonde...
by Collectonian
March 7th, 2011, 8:38 pm
Forum: Books
Topic: Reader Poll: Sex in Fiction
Replies: 21
Views: 8410

Re: Reader Poll: Sex in Fiction

I primarily read manga, romance, romantic suspense, and a random mix of young adult and other stuff. For me, I'm fine with sex in fiction, at pretty much any level. For the romance and romantic suspense stuff I read, I've seen fade to black, which I really only like if done well or it is clearly a s...
by Collectonian
March 7th, 2011, 2:49 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: THE TIME (YA)
Replies: 4
Views: 872

Re: THE TIME (YA)

Hi :-) Have you checked out QueryShark ? If not, I highly recommend reading her critiques of blogs, as she provides a lot of useful information that I think could be applied here. For the most part, your query doesn't give us very much information about the actual novel or give us a lot of reasons t...
by Collectonian
March 1st, 2011, 6:31 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: *Revised* QUERY: THE DRAKE WAR
Replies: 40
Views: 8261

Re: *Revised 3rd time* QUERY: THE DRAKE WAR

Overall, I like the tone for the piece, particularly for young adult. Get a great feel for the voice of the work here. A few notes from my having spent far too long reading QueryShark's archives below :-) don't forget the "Dear firstname lastname or mr/mrs/ms lastname :-D When a bunch of gun toting ...
by Collectonian
February 26th, 2011, 12:27 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: SAW IT COMING (new ending paragraph)
Replies: 27
Views: 5167

Re: Query: SAW IT COMING (revised)

I agree, great query! I also like the migraine and barfing. It quickly conveys that his visions not only have a mental affect, but also a physical effect that could potentially cause problems for him later. I think wilderness has a point on the last paragraph, but at the same time, not sure how to e...
by Collectonian
February 24th, 2011, 10:19 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: VANGUARD query
Replies: 5
Views: 1042

Re: VANGUARD query

First, I think this is a very interesting sounding story and I look forward to reading it when it hits the shelves :-) Your query isn't horrible by any means, but I do think it may not be presenting the story in the best possible light. I'd say the main weakness I see with the query is a mix of vagu...
by Collectonian
February 23rd, 2011, 6:13 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Your first Pargraph!
Replies: 80
Views: 28528

Re: Your first Pargraph!

Hmm, good point. I hadn't even thought about it being a "different character" since he's there so briefly. I'm usually good about doing that in other areas of dialog too. *doh* Modified version: From the class window, Sakura Takeshi watched her cleaning duty partner as he joined his friends in front...
by Collectonian
February 23rd, 2011, 3:57 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Your first Pargraph!
Replies: 80
Views: 28528

Re: Your first Pargraph!

*looks around* Okay, will dip my toe in. This is from Aisuru, To Love my young adult supernatural/fantasy romance set in Japan. "I'm sorry Takeshi-san. I must run home to let my cat in the house before this storm breaks or he'll get wet. Please excuse me." The unworried looking boy barely waited for...
by Collectonian
February 22nd, 2011, 3:34 pm
Forum: Social Media and Book Promotion
Topic: Do you have a new blog post?
Replies: 2688
Views: 407049

Re: Do you have a new blog post?

My 2011 Vegetable Garden plans, wee: http://collectonian.livejournal.com/708017.html
by Collectonian
February 21st, 2011, 3:20 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Blood Legacy - YA Fantasy REVISED
Replies: 21
Views: 4311

Re: Query: Blood Legacy - YA Fantasy

After reading through the thread a bit, I think you're on the right track :-) Dani Strider’s deepest desire is to belong, but the blood in her veins won't allow it. She bears a legacy kept secret form her, and with it comes powerful magic she can’t control. If the legacy is a secret from her and she...