Search found 31 matches

by bkloss
February 19th, 2011, 1:25 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Blood Legacy - YA Fantasy REVISED
Replies: 21
Views: 3635

Re: Query: Blood Legacy - YA Fantasy

Well, shoot. Take it as a good sign that I wanted more details ;)
by bkloss
February 19th, 2011, 12:30 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: *REVISED* (AGAIN) Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"
Replies: 31
Views: 4337

Re: Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"

Okay, so this is where I'm at. Some of the 'vague-ness' I'm still not sure that I want to divulge. I've intended this story for the first in a series, and that series slowly reveals specifics that may seem vague now. Must mull over...unless you guys think it MUST be clarified! In a magical world cal...
by bkloss
February 19th, 2011, 11:54 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Blood Legacy - YA Fantasy REVISED
Replies: 21
Views: 3635

Re: Query: Blood Legacy - YA Fantasy

I'll see what I can do...you were so helpful to me that I hope I can do the same! And, again, personal opinions here ;) Dear [Agent], Dani Strider’s deepest wish is to belong, but the blood in her veins won't allow it. I like this opening, but what about saying her deepest 'desire' is to belong? Sor...
by bkloss
February 19th, 2011, 12:16 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: *REVISED* (AGAIN) Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"
Replies: 31
Views: 4337

Re: Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"

Oh and nice catch with fleeing/pursuing. right-oh. Very contradictory, indeed.
by bkloss
February 19th, 2011, 12:12 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Have you ever gotten tired of reading your own novel?
Replies: 22
Views: 5379

Re: Have you ever gotten tired of reading your own novel?

Hey paulajewelry--I like your plan of attack. I may try that between hiatus'. Great advice!
by bkloss
February 19th, 2011, 12:07 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: *REVISED* (AGAIN) Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"
Replies: 31
Views: 4337

Re: Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"

Thanks yet AGAIN! And I'm so happy, that entry didn't have as much red as the other one. ;) That means I'm getting somewhere. Or at least on the right track.

I'm learning so much from this! I hope I can do the same for others, as much as you all have done for me.
by bkloss
February 18th, 2011, 11:39 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: *REVISED* (AGAIN) Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"
Replies: 31
Views: 4337

Re: Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"

Saribelle--thanks! I got LOADS out of your critique--actually it reinstated the changes I was forced to make, so thank you! I hope you like the newer version ;) Yes, queries are tough for me (I mean, can't you tell?!). It took 100,000 words to tell my story, and now I have to give you the gist in ab...
by bkloss
February 18th, 2011, 11:14 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: *REVISED* (AGAIN) Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"
Replies: 31
Views: 4337

Re: Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"

Okay...so you all have been incredible. I am now sufficiently embarrassed by the first 'draft' I posted. Which, I suppose, is proof of how much I've learned from all of you! I'll take your grains of salt AND pillars of it! ;) Thanks again!! In a magical world called Gaia, connected to Earth by an a...
by bkloss
February 18th, 2011, 10:03 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: *REVISED* (AGAIN) Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"
Replies: 31
Views: 4337

Re: Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"

Wow this is amazing (and oh it hurts!). I think I'm realizing my big 'issue'. When I hear people saying: "Think of your query letter like the blurb on a book jacket", that's what I think. Short, vague, sweet. I'm realizing I thought wrong. My blurb should have feet, arms, legs, a brain, etc. You wan...
by bkloss
February 18th, 2011, 9:32 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Have you ever gotten tired of reading your own novel?
Replies: 22
Views: 5379

Re: Have you ever gotten tired of reading your own novel?

I know that feeling! And it LIES!! Seriously though, every time I've felt that way (which has happened a number of times), I have also said to myself: "I don't know what else to do to it." (Big mistake). And then I take a few months off, read some books, write some other stuff, brainstorm other idea...
by bkloss
February 18th, 2011, 9:13 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: *REVISED* (AGAIN) Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"
Replies: 31
Views: 4337

Re: Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"

Alright! After such awesome feedback, I've made some 'linear' changes (or one can hope). I hope this is more coherent and flows more naturally. thanks again! This is so, so helpful. In a magical world called Gaia, connected to Earth by an ancient system of hidden portals, eighteen-year old Daria Jo...
by bkloss
February 18th, 2011, 5:10 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: *REVISED* (AGAIN) Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"
Replies: 31
Views: 4337

Re: Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"

Quill--That was incredible. It helps me tremendously. When you're in the thick of your story, your brain fills in all the gaps that don't necessarily make their way on to paper. I will work with every single one of those points, and hopefully conjure a query that flows and lacks query cliche's. I'm ...
by bkloss
February 18th, 2011, 4:14 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: *REVISED* (AGAIN) Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"
Replies: 31
Views: 4337

Re: Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"

Thanks so much...I've got a lot to think about now! I absolutely understand what you're saying. Let me get to work on this and hash it out so, like you said, it's more chronological.
by bkloss
February 18th, 2011, 3:40 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: *REVISED* (AGAIN) Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"
Replies: 31
Views: 4337

*REVISED* (AGAIN) Query letter for "Gaia's Secret"

REVISED VERSION on SECOND PAGE!! Query letters give me heart burn and panic attacks. Help!!!--Thanks In a parallel world, connected by an ancient system of portals, eighteen-year old Daria Jones is the heir to the Regius dynasty, the keeper of untold powers, and the final link uniting Earth-as-we-k...
by bkloss
February 18th, 2011, 3:33 pm
Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
Topic: Need a YA Fantasy Critique Partner!
Replies: 2
Views: 1454

Need a YA Fantasy Critique Partner!

I'm on draft 5 of my YA fantasy about a strong young woman that discovers she's from another, magical world. I have been through 3 beta-groups, and now need some feedback from other writers in that genre. (Before I put my head on the guillotine.) Apparently, I've learned how to write a novel backwar...