Search found 134 matches

by androidblues
October 6th, 2010, 11:39 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Final (I Hope) Query Letter - The Oracle's Revenge
Replies: 9
Views: 1709

Re: Final (I Hope) Query Letter - The Oracle's Revenge

Maybe a little clarification as to why he is chosen in particular? I might be kinda slow but I'm not really understanding from the second and third paragraph what the stakes are. If you spelled them out a little more clearly maybe I would get it. This isn't my type of book though, I'm not a fan of d...
by androidblues
October 6th, 2010, 11:30 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Speculative Sci/Fan Query - FREE TO FORGIVE
Replies: 12
Views: 2124

Re: Speculative Sci/Fan Query - FREE TO FORGIVE

I'd like to see a bit more characterization. Let me know what the characters are like. You don't have to say much, just give me an adjective or two.
by androidblues
October 6th, 2010, 11:26 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: A Lullaby- YA paranormal romance query
Replies: 28
Views: 4457

Re: A Lullaby- YA paranormal romance query

A query letter is recommend queryshark to be no longer than 250 words. I've seen exceptions of course, but only if all of the information is relevant to the story. It should be no longer than 450 words, or a 12pt Times New Roman formatted page. As for the range of YA? I'd say 10-18. It depends but I...
by androidblues
October 6th, 2010, 11:16 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query -IRON HEART-
Replies: 24
Views: 3636

Re: Query -IRON HEART-

I would probably read this too. Sounds interesting. I just want to know how one can be a half-witch. Can't anyone train to be a full witch, unless it's like the half-bloods/pure-bloods thing in Harry Potter.
by androidblues
October 6th, 2010, 11:10 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Summertime Query
Replies: 28
Views: 3781

Re: Summertime Query

Thanks priya, I'm 16 too so I know where you're coming from.
by androidblues
October 4th, 2010, 3:16 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Big Mouth Blues -- Contemporary YA -- PLEASE HELP
Replies: 10
Views: 1578

Re: Big Mouth Blues -- Contemporary YA -- PLEASE HELP

You're very welcome, and good luck.
by androidblues
October 4th, 2010, 3:00 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Summertime Query
Replies: 28
Views: 3781

Re: Summertime Query

Thanks for all your help quill, polly, and wilderness. I will definitely try and make the reader feel more sympathy for Summer. And no Polly, I haven't read 'I was a 98 lb duckling' but I like books like that. Reminds me of books by Betsy Byars. I will also try and show that Summer learns a lesson, ...
by androidblues
October 4th, 2010, 12:01 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Summertime Query
Replies: 28
Views: 3781

Re: Summertime Query

I tried to bring a bit more sympathy to the table in the last paragraph like you suggested Quill. You think this is any better? Zach and her sister have always included her in everything, but now they are leaving her at home with a babysitter. Summer has reached the peak of her patience, especially ...
by androidblues
October 3rd, 2010, 9:08 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Drunkard's Daughter: Started from Scratch, see p. 2
Replies: 24
Views: 4195

Re: The Drunkard's Daughter: Started from Scratch, see p. 2

It sounded more interesting from Dara's point of view, or at least more original than the general Lifetime plot. But when writing it from Annie's point of view it is more confusing. Why would she be afraid of Dara being her mother? And why would Dara let Michael adopt a child if she knew he was an a...
by androidblues
October 3rd, 2010, 8:57 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Is my query query-ish enough?
Replies: 13
Views: 1964

Re: Is my query query-ish enough?

Look, from an outsiders point of view that comment looked pretty malicious. When you read a query that you think is an unpolished gem, remember back to when you first wrote a query. Wasn't that pretty bad? Try to nicely comment to others and use constructive criticism. If you didn't like that bit a...
by androidblues
October 3rd, 2010, 8:30 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Is my query query-ish enough?
Replies: 13
Views: 1964

Re: Is my query query-ish enough?

Btw, I liked the first version of your query better. Just go through with the changes that HillaryJ suggested and it would be really good. The second reads more Meg Cabot like, while I was getting a more mature vibe from the first.
by androidblues
October 3rd, 2010, 8:23 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Is my query query-ish enough?
Replies: 13
Views: 1964

Re: Is my query query-ish enough?

Sorry but when reading books like this, such as Twilight(no offense), I often wonder why the girl doesn't simply make up her mind. Just pick Marco if she loves him or pick Michael if she has moved on. Why is this so difficult unless she likes stringing guys along, some sort of subconscious desire br...
by androidblues
October 3rd, 2010, 6:55 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Summertime Query
Replies: 28
Views: 3781

Re: Summertime Query

I see what you're saying now. Do you think a few sentences is good to bring empathy to the table, or just one?
by androidblues
October 3rd, 2010, 5:47 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Summertime Query
Replies: 28
Views: 3781

Re: Summertime Query

No, I'm saying you should root for her because like most, if not all kids, she wants to be treated like an adult without realizing how difficult being an adult can be. I think I might confused as to what you are asking. You mean because of her childish behavior, what the email thing, that she should...
by androidblues
October 3rd, 2010, 4:35 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Summertime Query
Replies: 28
Views: 3781

Re: Summertime Query

Why would we be rooting for her to be treated as an adult when she is a child and is acting like one? Because kids who are in gifted or special programs, or just kids who are smart for their age, are often very egotistical and want to be treated like adults, even when they are incapable of acting l...