Search found 134 matches

by androidblues
October 9th, 2010, 9:45 pm
Forum: Self-Publishing
Topic: "F*ck List" goes viral, HarperCollins interested
Replies: 9
Views: 1476

Re: "F*ck List" goes viral, HarperCollins interested

Sounds like a dumber version of 'And The Heart Says Whatever'.
by androidblues
October 9th, 2010, 9:37 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Synopsis: "The Princess and the Pirate" (9-14 year olds)
Replies: 8
Views: 2776

Re: Synopsis: "The Princess and the Pirate" (9-14 year olds)

The correct age group is 9-12, which is middle-grade not YA. And this is seeming kinda short even for middle grade, 40,000 words would be better unless this is for a younger audience. I can't really see a 14 or 13 year old reading this, although it sounds great for a nine year old.
by androidblues
October 9th, 2010, 8:14 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: First Light query. YA Fantasy
Replies: 18
Views: 2836

Re: First Light query. YA Fantasy

Sorry for the errors, typing on an iPhone is hard
by androidblues
October 9th, 2010, 8:12 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: First Light query. YA Fantasy
Replies: 18
Views: 2836

Re: First Light query. YA Fantasy

I'm just going to say it now before I chicken out. I'm feeling more sympThy for the villain and I'm not feeling anything for the protagonist. I'm weird like that but I wish you'd give me a reason to sympathyize with her and not the villain. Also the names are hard to tell apart with all of them star...
by androidblues
October 9th, 2010, 7:57 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Fantasy query- The Beacon.
Replies: 9
Views: 1672

Re: Fantasy query- The Beacon.

Great advice wilderness. That last sentence is really great. I'd add more but I'm typing from my phone.
by androidblues
October 8th, 2010, 4:01 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: AMETHYST - YA Paranormal Romance/Fantasy - Query
Replies: 18
Views: 2464

Re: AMETHYST - YA Paranormal Romance/Fantasy - Query

This is kind of confusing. I would get to the point quicker, at least in the second paragraph, and end with a hook in that paragraph as well. I have no sense of the plot or the conflict. You should try the three paragraph query formula. 1st Paragraph - Introducing the Character 2nd Paragraph - Intro...
by androidblues
October 8th, 2010, 3:57 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: A Lullaby- YA paranormal romance query
Replies: 28
Views: 4504

Re: A Lullaby- YA paranormal romance query

Just put a space in between the paragraphs. I wouldn't end with a rhetorical question either. I'd give it a read, provided that it didn't bore me on the first page like Blood and Chocolate. What you've written here is what I expected that to be - good.
by androidblues
October 8th, 2010, 3:50 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query -IRON HEART-
Replies: 24
Views: 3668

Re: Query -IRON HEART-

Definitely a good query. Although I disagree with Down The Well on one point, I think you should keep the witches name. Other than that I'd probably request a full, just because I've never seen anything like it.
by androidblues
October 7th, 2010, 11:43 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Fantasy query- The Beacon.
Replies: 9
Views: 1672

Re: Fantasy query- The Beacon.

I like this but I think the second paragraph can be tightened just a bit. If the writing in the novel is this good I'd really want to read it, provided she comes out on top.
by androidblues
October 6th, 2010, 2:31 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - Figment - YA Fantasy- REVISED
Replies: 10
Views: 2047

Re: Query - Figment - YA Fantasy- REVISED

This is cool, but why does the council want him back? And why does he have to bring Audrey along?
by androidblues
October 6th, 2010, 2:17 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Whip-Slip query
Replies: 68
Views: 8906

Re: The Whip-Slip query

Good luck, maybe we'll see your book in stores next year.
by androidblues
October 6th, 2010, 2:15 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: MG Fiction Query (First Time asking for help)
Replies: 14
Views: 2518

Re: MG Fiction Query (First Time asking for help)

Much better, but I don't think you are using Black Magic correctly. Black Magic isn't evil, rather it is just offensive magic while white magic is defensive magic. One causes things to happen while the other prevents things from happening. Neither is better than the other. Think of a different more ...
by androidblues
October 6th, 2010, 2:11 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: A Lullaby- YA paranormal romance query
Replies: 28
Views: 4504

Re: A Lullaby- YA paranormal romance query

I think the best way to write a query is like this. In this first paragraph state the event that states everything off, as well as the characters personality. Such as in Star Wars it was Luke's house being burned down. Then in the second paragraph mention the character's quest and the antagonist. Th...
by androidblues
October 6th, 2010, 11:52 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: MG Fiction Query (First Time asking for help)
Replies: 14
Views: 2518

Re: MG Fiction Query (First Time asking for help)

Please break up the paragraphs. White space is beneficial for queries. With my short attention span I'm having difficulty reading this big block of text. Nice idea for a MG novel, but I would include less description of the bullying and more of his personality.
by androidblues
October 6th, 2010, 11:44 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Whip-Slip query
Replies: 68
Views: 8906

Re: The Whip-Slip query

Question, are the teenagers possessed by left hander like beings? If so, why fight them if they are suffering just as much as Thea? Should she help them instead? I'm not really understanding the fight between life and death either. It seems to have just come out of left field. Why would life and dea...