Search found 134 matches

by androidblues
November 1st, 2010, 4:01 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Iron Pillar: Women's Fiction Query
Replies: 28
Views: 4472

Re: The Iron Pillar: Women's Fiction Query

Melissa, I don't read Women's Fiction but I'm going to try and help you as much as I can. I am currently seeking representation for my novel, THE IRON PILLAR. This 85,000 word piece of women’s fiction is the story of one woman’s transformative journey as she is subjected to love, loss, and the whims...
by androidblues
November 1st, 2010, 3:26 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: A Lullaby: giving it another shot
Replies: 26
Views: 3334

Re: A Lullaby: giving it another shot

I'll definitely check it out Melissa. I write contemporary YA and fantasy YA. I like Sci Fi, but I'm really bad at writing it. I have a really cool pre apocalyptic idea I'm playing around with though. My strengths are in comedy and romance, although I wish I was better at writing drama and fight sce...
by androidblues
November 1st, 2010, 3:22 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: TREASON - Historical Mystery
Replies: 19
Views: 2324

Re: TREASON - Historical Mystery

Quill - I read on PubRants that a query should sound like the inside of a book jacket. If you look at the queries that Kristen has greenlighted, then you look at the product description on Amazon they are pretty much identical. I really think the main part of a query is to get someone interested, no...
by androidblues
November 1st, 2010, 3:07 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - Possessed
Replies: 23
Views: 3110

Re: Query - Possessed

If anything I don't like this line, He wishes he could go back and erase what he did to them. I'm kinda thinking that either those guys deserved what they had coming to them - such as they sodomized him or something - or he killed them for no reason - in which case I'm not going to sympathize with h...
by androidblues
November 1st, 2010, 2:58 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: A Lullaby: giving it another shot
Replies: 26
Views: 3334

Re: A Lullaby: giving it another shot

Wow Melissa. That's some pretty nice prose you wrote. The story is really sounding a lot clearer now priya. My one beef is that maybe you can umph up whatever decomposition is. Make it sound really unappealing, like being burned at the stake or crucified or something. I like your description of Agor...
by androidblues
October 19th, 2010, 8:06 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Fantasy Query -- Glory or Death, 4th rev.
Replies: 15
Views: 2933

Re: YA Fantasy Query -- Glory or Death

katbrauer gave some great advice. When she ripped it apart I totally got the plot. I'd love to see a Hunger Games like novel done in a way that didn't make me mad.
by androidblues
October 18th, 2010, 3:29 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: The Pterrible Pteranodon
Replies: 7
Views: 1241

Re: QUERY: The Pterrible Pteranodon

sounds cool, I like steampunk stuff. Especially MG. Is it written in Emily Rodd style or from Ib's point of view?
by androidblues
October 18th, 2010, 3:27 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Queen of Heaven - YA Fantasy Query
Replies: 15
Views: 2504

Another Revision Queen of Heaven - YA Fantasy Query

Thanks for all the help thermocline and katbraeur. I tried to integrate both of your suggestions into the query. Thirteen year old Jin wants to conquer the world. She just needs an army. After her father, the Emperor, is murdered by his most trusted adviser, Jin flees the Empire of Sol. She travels...
by androidblues
October 13th, 2010, 7:28 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Writing from the perspective of a gifted teen
Replies: 6
Views: 959

Re: Writing from the perspective of a gifted teen

There is no such thing as a standard teen voice. When you try and create a teen voice for your character you end up with a fake shallow sounding character. One of my favorite narrators, Charlie, from Perks of Being a Wallflower, didn't have the standard teen voice yet he was a teen. Like maybegeniou...
by androidblues
October 13th, 2010, 6:20 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Queen of Heaven - YA Fantasy Query
Replies: 15
Views: 2504

Re: Queen of Heaven - YA Fantasy Query

Thanks for your feedback Robyn. And Thermocline, you're awesome. Sure you aren't a mind reader, because you have some pretty good guesses about my story. Here's for a revision. _ Thirteen year old Jin wants to conquer the world. She just needs an army. Jin flees the Empire of Sol after her father, t...
by androidblues
October 13th, 2010, 5:11 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY - A Scorpion's Nature
Replies: 8
Views: 1417

Re: QUERY - A Scorpion's Nature

very nice, but maybe break up the first sentence like JMB suggested
by androidblues
October 13th, 2010, 1:27 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Queen of Heaven - YA Fantasy Query
Replies: 15
Views: 2504

Re: Queen of Heaven - YA Fantasy Query

Thanks for the advice katbrauer. I would condense, but I like the detail and I want to keep it since I have only used 266 words. However I do thank you for helping me re-word some things so that they make more sense. ~ Thirteen year old Jin wants to conquer the world. She just needs an army. After d...
by androidblues
October 13th, 2010, 12:20 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Meant To Be---another new version
Replies: 61
Views: 8097

Re: Meant To Be---Comm. Fic---new "special request" version

cheekychook, that's really respectable. I hate it when characters are seen as right for having affairs. A simple divorce would solve their problems. I can respect your love story though and I actually think you should leave it the way it is. Those last two sentences are pretty good, you should inclu...
by androidblues
October 13th, 2010, 12:15 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Wizard Seeking Trophy Bride
Replies: 9
Views: 1508

Re: Wizard Seeking Trophy Bride

Please consider representing my fantasy manuscript, WIZARD SEEKING TROPHY BRIDE, complete at 106,000 words, a humorous tale in the vein of Robert Asprin’s “Myth” series. Medieval slacker Sonny the Scoundrel wants nothing more out of life than to continue living off Grandpap the wizard, avoiding wor...
by androidblues
October 13th, 2010, 11:57 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query SEVENTY-TWO HOURS
Replies: 7
Views: 1325

Re: Query SEVENTY-TWO HOURS

I definitely agree with glj and katbrauer. Characterization is a must. Dear Agent, Thirteen-year-old best friends, Anna and Claire have almost perfect lives, until their world is blown apart. Perfect place to talk about their friendship. Also great for some characterization. They’re lost in the Blue...