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by dgaughran
April 5th, 2011, 10:00 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Super Sad True Agent Story
Replies: 22
Views: 7366

Re: Super Sad True Agent Story

Hi Karen, Thanks for your comments. Let me first say that I don't know the reason I have been blanked by this agent, there may well be valid reasons, they just haven't been communicated to me. That said, it's over three months since the agent promised to have a decision in a week, and at this stage ...
by dgaughran
April 5th, 2011, 11:29 am
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Super Sad True Agent Story
Replies: 22
Views: 7366

Re: Super Sad True Agent Story

Thanks for all the messages. I'm actually going to take a break from both writing my new novel and querying. I have two short story ideas which have been bugging me since I started the second novel. I'm nearly half-way through the first (it's turning out longer than expected). When I am done with th...
by dgaughran
April 3rd, 2011, 6:50 am
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Super Sad True Agent Story
Replies: 22
Views: 7366

Re: Super Sad True Agent Story

Thanks for all the comments guys, it really is appreciated. I have been sick in bed all week reading about Barry Eisler and Amanda Hocking, reading Joe Konrath's blog and Dean Wesley Smith's blog, and it's fascinating reading. I think I will park this novel for now and focus on new writing. I have a...
by dgaughran
March 30th, 2011, 5:18 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Super Sad True Agent Story
Replies: 22
Views: 7366

Super Sad True Agent Story

I finished (or thought I had finished) my novel in August 2009 and stuck it away in a drawer for a month or so before giving it one final edit and then began sending it out to about 15 agents, garnering only one partial request before realising it was far from ready. I went back to the drawing board...
by dgaughran
March 10th, 2011, 1:36 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: AMÉRICA! (Hist. Fic.) - New Version Top of Page 2
Replies: 21
Views: 2268

Re: Query: AMÉRICA! (Hist. Fic.) - New Version Top of Page 2

Yes, I think you're right. I don't want to give away the ending, but I can give you a number of theories that historians have put forward: 1) San Martin was weak, drug-addled, and bowed to the superiority of Bolivar as a man, an intellect, and a soldier. 2) Bolivar bullied him, threatening to do the...
by dgaughran
March 10th, 2011, 12:59 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: AMÉRICA! (Hist. Fic.) - New Version Top of Page 2
Replies: 21
Views: 2268

Re: Query: AMÉRICA! (Hist. Fic.) - New Version Top of Page 2

Hi all, Thanks again for taking the time to help with my query. I think it's getting there. The structure is right for the first time, but it might be a little dry. Need to think about that more, make it sound more exciting . Re. opening with a question: I am aware of the rule, but as far as I under...
by dgaughran
March 9th, 2011, 5:24 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: AMÉRICA! (Hist. Fic.) - New Version Top of Page 2
Replies: 21
Views: 2268

Re: Query: AMÉRICA! (Historical Fiction) - New Version

Hi all, Thanks for all the help so far, it's genuinely appreciated. Your criticisms have been spot-on so far, and are helping me a lot. It feels like I'm learning too, and I am enjoying the process. Latest version below. Have at her! Dave *** VERSION 6 *** Dear [AGENT], Why did Jose de San Martin, w...
by dgaughran
March 8th, 2011, 2:19 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: AMÉRICA! (Hist. Fic.) - New Version Top of Page 2
Replies: 21
Views: 2268

Re: Query: AMÉRICA! (Historical Fiction) - New Version

JQ - the book is about both, the battles he fought, and why he stepped aside on eve of immortalising himself in history.
by dgaughran
March 8th, 2011, 11:26 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: AMÉRICA! (Hist. Fic.) - New Version Top of Page 2
Replies: 21
Views: 2268

Re: Query: AMÉRICA! (Historical Fiction) - New Version

Quill, you eviscerate queries like a school of frenzied piranhas. I take your point on the logline. Maybe something like this would be better "As Lieutentant Colonel in the Spanish Army, Jose de San Martin has had men shot for desertion, but when he flees to Argentina, he's not shirking a fight, he'...
by dgaughran
March 8th, 2011, 9:08 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: AMÉRICA! (Hist. Fic.) - New Version Top of Page 2
Replies: 21
Views: 2268

Re: Query: AMÉRICA! (Historical Fiction) - New Version

This was tough. Thank you for all these comments, they are really forcing me to think. I tried to pull it apart and put it back together again. I think the log-line is a lot better, and I tried to make the query sound less like one for a non-fiction work. I've tried to play up his motivations a litt...
by dgaughran
March 8th, 2011, 8:52 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: AMÉRICA! (Hist. Fic.) - New Version Top of Page 2
Replies: 21
Views: 2268

Re: Query: AMÉRICA! (Historical Fiction) - New Version

Thanks guys - great comments, you are really making me think. I'm gonna post a new version soon. lvcabbie - San Martin served for 20 years in the Spanish Army. He moved to Spain (from Argentina) when he was 6 or 7, joined the army as a cadet at the age of eleven (!), fighting in North Africa, France...
by dgaughran
March 7th, 2011, 6:09 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: AMÉRICA! (Hist. Fic.) - New Version Top of Page 2
Replies: 21
Views: 2268

Re: Query: AMÉRICA! (Historical Fiction) - New Version

Quill - San Martin is a real historical figure. I thought that was made clear (particularly by the sentence "For two hundred years..."), it it's not, maybe I should do something about that. Or maybe it's not important. I don't know sleepingbeauty - that line was from my old query, it survives in som...
by dgaughran
March 7th, 2011, 5:59 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: AMÉRICA! (Hist. Fic.) - New Version Top of Page 2
Replies: 21
Views: 2268

Re: Query: AMÉRICA! (Historical Fiction) - New Version

Ok, Quill - you always were a hard task-master. It seems my last version went in the wrong direction - it definitely seems cheesier to me. I'm going back to an earlier version as my starting point, here's an attempt to incorporate some of the above comments and spin it in a different direction. It m...
by dgaughran
March 6th, 2011, 6:44 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: AMÉRICA! (Hist. Fic.) - New Version Top of Page 2
Replies: 21
Views: 2268

Query: AMÉRICA! (Hist. Fic.) - New Version Top of Page 2

NEWEST VERSION POST #16, TOP OF PAGE 2 Hi all, I've been around the block a few times already with this query, and have used several different versions to snag a few partial/full requests. After a couple of close shaves, I'm getting ready to send a new batch out again. My novel has 7 MCs, but I onl...
by dgaughran
March 6th, 2011, 11:30 am
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Querying UK Agents?
Replies: 14
Views: 17135

Re: Querying UK Agents?

Sorry to resurrect this thread (missed this somehow), but I think it's important to make a point for future readers considering querying in the UK. I think you are overestimate the amount of "feedback" most people are likely to get from a UK agent. I read the same thing in the Writer's & Artist's bo...