Search found 63 matches

by fishfood
November 30th, 2010, 11:36 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: VIRTUAL JERUSALEM, a novel--Satirical Thriller
Replies: 5
Views: 969

Re: VIRTUAL JERUSALEM, a novel--Literary-Satire-Espionage

Dear Mr. Agent, Set in 2034 in an America drunk on religion and consumerism Virtual Jerusalem is the tongue-in-cheek epic of Ken Clarion, a retiring spy on a seemingly simple final mission that blossoms into a global crisis, forcing Ken to choose between his life and the plans of enemies who see th...
by fishfood
November 28th, 2010, 11:29 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: THE SECOND DEATH OF JUAN LA ROCA: Revision # 2
Replies: 20
Views: 3697

Re: THE SECOND DEATH OF JUAN LA ROCA: lit fiction query

Hi there! First of all, I totally understood the plot first read through and I think if you left it as is, you'd probably get requests! I wouldn't feel too much pressure to change this since everyone has different opinions. I'll offer a few suggestions which will probably second some of the other re...
by fishfood
November 22nd, 2010, 9:53 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised query HARP-BROKEN, take 2 (at end)
Replies: 8
Views: 1708

Re: Revised query HARP-BROKEN

Hi generous, wonderful, brilliant editor-people, I've been re-working my query and here's the latest version. Thanks SO MUCH for all your prior useful comments, and I would love to hear your thoughts on this iteration. C. ----------- Agent comments... In YA fantasy HARP-BROKEN, a girl finds her des...
by fishfood
November 9th, 2010, 9:19 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY - TRIAL OF THE HEART - Which one?
Replies: 23
Views: 3136

Re: QUERY - TRIAL OF THE HEART - Which one?

That damn sliver of light at the end of the tunnel was only a shard of glass stuck in a rock! <grin> Based on additional feedback, I created version B. I have to be honest and say I'm at a loss deciding which way to go, so I'm throwing it out there for additional critique and feedback. *** VERSION ...
by fishfood
November 9th, 2010, 8:26 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Romance Query: COVET *Revision 3 posted (4.5.11)*
Replies: 19
Views: 3884

Re: Romance Query: COVET

Hi. Wow, thanks again for the feedback, Priya and Erin! Glad you think placing that one sentence after introducing what Lucas does makes sense. I wasn't sure if it would flow, if I went from the hook to introducing what he does. I will throw in a "after some months away during battle..." something l...
by fishfood
November 8th, 2010, 2:44 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Romance Query: COVET *Revision 3 posted (4.5.11)*
Replies: 19
Views: 3884

Re: Romance Query: COVET * Revision posted at end*

Thank you D.Bond, wordranger, Severus Lawliet, ABFTomioka for the latest suggestions and encouragement! D.Bond--yes, the word count could very well be a dealbreaker right away. The first draft was 166,000, then it went down to 123,000 and I'm stuck at 117,000. I've read two agents in particular that...
by fishfood
November 6th, 2010, 3:03 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY - TRIAL OF THE HEART - Which one?
Replies: 23
Views: 3136

Re: QUERY - TRIAL OF THE HEART * REVISED*

This is SO something I would love to read!! I think you have the query nailed. I just made a few tweaking suggestions. :) Okay, I've taken all your great comments and revised ... again! Please let me know what you think. Dear (Specific Agent), Emily Hennas has the power to ease one man’s painful suf...
by fishfood
November 5th, 2010, 8:22 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT - New Revision - Revision #3
Replies: 15
Views: 2768

Re: Query: HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT - New Revision - Revision #1

Dear Agent: Castillia is a goddess with a strange sense of humor. She’s only manifested herself twice in history. The first time was in a king. The second time was in a prince. These guys made sense. They were respected leaders. Did she choose a king this time? No. A prince? Nope. This time, she ch...
by fishfood
November 3rd, 2010, 9:49 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Hades heard
Replies: 0
Views: 458

Re: Hades heard

Hades heard wow gold me say, once a look of smile, the face folds cheap wow gold of the old head is directed at a judge full lace wig asked: "Do I really look so young ultra short ugg boots Estimated ugg boots free shipping that a judge is usually used to flattering shot, without thinking said: "Co...
by fishfood
November 3rd, 2010, 9:10 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Romance Query: COVET *Revision 3 posted (4.5.11)*
Replies: 19
Views: 3884

Re: Romance Query: COVET

Hi! Thanks you so much for the feedback, very much appreciated. :D Okay, maybe I can have some opinions weigh in on the following issues if any of you are inclined to bear with me! 1) I do have a version that is specifically from Lucas' pov. The reason I did two distinct POVs was because I was tryin...
by fishfood
November 2nd, 2010, 9:40 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Romance Query: COVET *Revision 3 posted (4.5.11)*
Replies: 19
Views: 3884

Romance Query: COVET *Revision 3 posted (4.5.11)*

Thanks for all your help! REVISION #2 as of 3/13/11: In a Kingdom feared for its powerful army, Lucas is highly ranked among the King’s Elite officers. His devotion is proudly given to the formidable ruler, a man he fights with side by side, but his heart belongs to Adelais. She’s the girl of his y...
by fishfood
October 30th, 2010, 2:16 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - Possessed
Replies: 23
Views: 3188

Re: Query - Possessed

POSSESSED - Fourth Revision Dear Agent, Gabriel's life is a lie. He is not fourteen. He is not an ex midshipman in the British fleet. But he knows one thing. If he does not get out of the White Horizon Research Facility soon, he will be a corpse. Gabriel learns that the experiment he volunteered fo...
by fishfood
October 30th, 2010, 2:04 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT - New Revision - Revision #3
Replies: 15
Views: 2768

Re: Query: HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT - YA Sci-Fi / Fantasy

Fishfood: Thanks. You made some good points. Actually, other than taunting from the other kids that don't like him, Steven is Magellan's biggest problem, but Magellan isn't even aware he's a problem since Steven works on the sly. My first draft of the query stayed closer to the "Steven wants Magell...
by fishfood
October 29th, 2010, 9:19 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT - New Revision - Revision #3
Replies: 15
Views: 2768

Re: Query: HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT - YA Fantasy

Here is my first stab at a query for the novel I am really close to sending out. Thanks in advance for any insight! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Agent: Magellan’s life is turned upside down...
by fishfood
October 25th, 2010, 10:45 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Iron Pillar: Women's Fiction Query
Replies: 28
Views: 4592

Re: The Iron Pillar: Women's Fiction Query

Hi there! I purposely decided not to read the other posters' suggetions in hopes that maybe if I hit upon the same issues, it will help guide the trouble spots in your query and hopefully get you some requests! I know you have a GREAT story here, the query is just lacking some descriptiveness that w...