Search found 23 matches

by a3writer
August 28th, 2010, 6:01 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Timesurfers Take two posted 30 Aug
Replies: 7
Views: 1373

Re: Query Timesurfers

Cate receives her boyfriend's text - ' We R Ova’ - five minutes after her only friend arrives to comfort her. She’s the last person to know about her own break up. Her life sucks. At that moment everyone and everything around her comes to an abrupt halt. Time stands still. You don't need any of tha...
by a3writer
August 28th, 2010, 5:50 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: The Enemy Within - Final Take, Page 3
Replies: 25
Views: 4368

Re: Query: The Enemy Within (Take 2 or maybe 3)

Dear Mr./Ms. Agent: It's 1863 and the Civil War is raging. It might seem like a minor point, but in the idea that less is more, do we need to know the exact year? We know it's the Civil War because in the next sentence you talk about a Southern Bell and Confederate spy, so we know it's the Civil War...
by a3writer
August 28th, 2010, 3:10 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: WHAT A PAINE! edited yet again
Replies: 13
Views: 2717

Re: WHAT A PAINE! Take 3

I haven't read the other iterations, but I hope I can help. Dear Agent, Reece Paine’s goals are to make it through this week sane, and be able to button her jeans at the end of it I get this. A bit of humor in the beginning, but then you're actually putting pressure to maintain that humor. Also, is...
by a3writer
August 28th, 2010, 2:31 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query- Riding on the Tail of the Devil
Replies: 29
Views: 5163

Re: Query- Riding on the Tail of the Devil

Sammyig, I'll be honest and say that this latest version is not a step forward. The previous version was much better. I agree with the others that you should simply get to the point, which is what the second one did very well. On top of that, there are dozens of agents that will tell you never to op...
by a3writer
August 25th, 2010, 4:01 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Around the Source (Fantasy) - Attempt #3
Replies: 12
Views: 2825

Re: Around the Source (Fantasy) - Attempt #3

Despite being adopted, Charley Kuten still ended up with her grandfather's given name. Even moving across the country to become an electronics retail slave wasn't enough to get out from under her mother's overprotective thumb. Every day is exactly the same...until a This is backstory and prologue. ...
by a3writer
August 25th, 2010, 3:45 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query- Riding on the Tail of the Devil
Replies: 29
Views: 5163

Re: Query- Riding on the Tail of the Devil

First, congratulations on the re-write. I know wrestling with queries is tough, so just getting a new one down is awesome. Dear Agent: RIDING ON THE TAIL OF THE DEVIL is an 80,000 word fantasy featuring vampires, reincarnation, and a young boy's quest to be allowed to live. Move this bit to the end...
by a3writer
August 23rd, 2010, 5:58 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Third Query try for Devin Briar
Replies: 7
Views: 1485

Re: Third Query try for Devin Briar

Dear Agent, He was chosen, for a reason that he can’t fathom, by mysterious people that lurk in the shadows of his life. They have to get him ready to stand in front of a runaway political freight train. To do that, they have to transform him into a powerful political voice. The problem is, the pers...
by a3writer
August 23rd, 2010, 5:37 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query- Riding on the Tail of the Devil
Replies: 29
Views: 5163

Re: Query- Riding on the Tail of the Devil

Dear Agent X, Mathias is a street kid. He never believed in reincarnation, never thought he would live anywhere else but the streets and die before he was eighteen. He was right...about some of it. So he believes he's going to die before he's 18? After being gunned down in a drive by shooting, Is he...