Search found 28 matches

by atdeluca
July 26th, 2010, 11:36 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - The Extraordinary Tale of Nicholas Pierce - Mainstrm
Replies: 27
Views: 4203

Re: Query - The Extraordinary Tale of Nicholas Pierce - Mainstrm

NEW VERSION Kept the marketing part because it implies I will market the hell out of my book if taken on (meaning bigger paycheck for the agent if I'm successful). That being said, I'm considering scrapping and trying again. It still feels sloppy. --- Dear AGENT, Nicholas Pierce cannot remember his ...
by atdeluca
July 26th, 2010, 10:04 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: The House of Mirrors - Query Update - A BIG Thanks
Replies: 21
Views: 3613

Re: The House of Mirrors - New Revision at post 9

The last time twelve-year-old Sarah sees her sister , Jane, is on the abandoned plot of land at the bottom of Hannover Street. Musical chimes lure Jane into the rubbish and long grass, where she vanishes right before Sarah’s her eyes. Sarah follows the trail of glowing footprints left behind by her ...
by atdeluca
July 26th, 2010, 9:45 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Alone With Everyone - Literary query
Replies: 10
Views: 1499

Re: Alone With Everyone - Literary query

I like the first version at the beginning of this thread.
by atdeluca
July 26th, 2010, 9:40 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - The Extraordinary Tale of Nicholas Pierce - Mainstrm
Replies: 27
Views: 4203

Re: Query - The Extraordinary Tale of Nicholas Pierce - Mainstrm

NEW VERSION! Dear AGENT, Nicholas Pierce is missing five years of his life. When an unexplained package shows up on his front step, Nicholas' forgotten childhood comes knocking. With nothing but a locked box and cryptic note that suggests he ask his true parents for the key, Nicholas must decide whe...
by atdeluca
July 22nd, 2010, 8:17 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - The Extraordinary Tale of Nicholas Pierce - Mainstrm
Replies: 27
Views: 4203

Re: Query - The Extraordinary Tale of Nicholas Pierce - Mainstrm

New version!!! Note: I left "candidate for B.S. in Marketing" because this is the academic and proper business term to use in professional communication (well at least according to the classes I've taken on resume writing and business communication). -- Dear AGENT, Nicholas Pierce is missing five ye...
by atdeluca
July 22nd, 2010, 12:46 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: New attempt at YA query - The Evolution of Janie
Replies: 5
Views: 943

Re: New attempt at YA query - The Evolution of Janie

The town of Everett, Montana has been waiting. Towns can wait? Or are the people of Everett, Montana waiting? A prophecy made years ago tells of The One sounds like Neo from the Matrix that will bring an end to the infection that causes them to shape shift. For those that want a normal life it’s a w...
by atdeluca
July 22nd, 2010, 11:39 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - The Extraordinary Tale of Nicholas Pierce - Mainstrm
Replies: 27
Views: 4203

Re: Query - The Extraordinary Tale of Nicholas Pierce - Mainstrm

WOW Quill & Emily, thanks for all the great advice. :) Emily, your comments about the marketability are superb! I think I'll take your advice :) :) :) As for 60,000 words: I know it is on the short side, but The 25th Hour by David Benioff was just barely over 57,000 and it was made into a movie! NEW...
by atdeluca
July 22nd, 2010, 10:42 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - The Extraordinary Tale of Nicholas Pierce - Mainstrm
Replies: 27
Views: 4203

Re: Query - The Extraordinary Tale of Nicholas Pierce - Mainstrm

OK, I've made some edits you can see above. Some notes / questions My last book was published by a company I'm involved with that actually does online content primarily but we delved into print for my book. So it's not Lulu self published, but not traditionally published either. I wouldn't include i...
by atdeluca
July 22nd, 2010, 8:52 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - The Extraordinary Tale of Nicholas Pierce - Mainstrm
Replies: 27
Views: 4203

Query - The Extraordinary Tale of Nicholas Pierce - Mainstrm

UPDATE: NEW EDITS Hey gang! Take a look :) PS: Former marketing student here so the end bit might be a little unconventional but in the 2010 market I thought it would be relevant. I mean agent's are looking for someone who can help them make money, right? ---- [AGENT], Nicholas Pierce is missing fi...
by atdeluca
July 22nd, 2010, 8:44 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: A Room by the Sea (literary novel) query
Replies: 8
Views: 1131

Re: A Room by the Sea (literary novel) query

Dear [Agent’s Name], It’s been a decade since nineteen-year-old Emily Fairfield’s mother died. Ever since, she has selectively preserved only positive memories of her mother , Laurie, In queries you don't want to introduce too many names, it is easier to remember and understand with relationship ind...
by atdeluca
July 22nd, 2010, 8:33 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for Book of the Watchers-YA Horror *A new angle*
Replies: 30
Views: 5432

Re: Query for Book of the Watchers-YA Fantasy

Sara and David meet in real life, but what brought them together was a dream. This is where I stopped reading. Since the dream is mentioned in the second half of the sentence, when I first read the words "meet in real life," I thought it seemed, oh I dunno... online-y. The "real life" part should o...