Search found 69 matches

by arbraun
September 30th, 2010, 3:33 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Forsaken Ones Query-Paranormal novel
Replies: 10
Views: 1711

Re: Forsaken Ones Query-Draft Three

Dear, Agent A survivor of a dead race of Immortals the race who started it all; I'd insert a comma after "immortals" and replace the semicolon with a comma. A good way to remember is that, to use the semicolon, the description on both sides should be complete thoughts. Ceili Lark is thrust upon a w...
by arbraun
September 30th, 2010, 3:10 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: North Woods Assassin
Replies: 6
Views: 1794

Re: North Woods Assassin

This is the first draft of my 853 word synopsis. I use the snowflake method so it'll eventually be my outline. I'm looking forward to all critiques, thank you! Seeing as a synopsis is supposed to be a page and a half, 853 is probably a bit long. I'd cut it to 325 words. Michael Donatello is an ex-m...
by arbraun
September 30th, 2010, 1:39 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Whip-Slip query
Replies: 68
Views: 8994

Re: The Whip-Slip query

Here's my newest version: Seventeen-year-old Thea Vans will do anything to protect her best friend, Tully. That’s why she’ll never speak to him again. Thea’s always hidden her ability to heal or infect with a single touch – but the powers don’t belong to her anymore. Left-Hander, the new and inexpl...
by arbraun
September 30th, 2010, 1:01 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query--BOOK OF SHADOWS, Horror
Replies: 11
Views: 1585

Re: Query--BOOK OF SHADOWS, Horror

Thanks, you two. There are a lot of good suggestions here.
by arbraun
September 30th, 2010, 12:57 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Synopsis - AMÉRICA! - historical fiction
Replies: 5
Views: 1786

Re: Synopsis - AMÉRICA! - historical fiction

AMÉRICA! is the story of seven people whose lives intertwine when their quests for freedom become tied to the liberation of a continent. This seems a bit vague to me. I'd start with a sharper, more specific opening. You're synopsis is the right length though. You're right at about a page and a half...
by arbraun
September 30th, 2010, 10:58 am
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Synopsis-Forsaken
Replies: 11
Views: 2800

Re: Synopsis-Forsaken

Anna’s sixteenth birthday should have been a time celebrating her transition into adulthood, but instead it marks the brutal murder of her family members. With nowhere else to go, Anna heads into the small village of Litchfield to find family friends, Dermot and Tilly. Carrying a few meager items a...
by arbraun
September 29th, 2010, 4:32 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query--BOOK OF SHADOWS, Horror
Replies: 11
Views: 1585

Re: Query--BOOK OF SHADOWS, Horror

Here's the second draft: Dear Agent, Alex Benson just lost his wife to suicide. Desperate, he goes to an Apostolic Pentecostal church hoping extreme faith will heal his bereaved heart. But when an adolescent Wiccan hypocrite named Kaitidid Rogers develops a crush on him, pursuing him with telepathy,...
by arbraun
September 28th, 2010, 4:45 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: FADING GREY - A Paranormal Romance Query
Replies: 11
Views: 1869

Re: FADING GREY - A Paranormal Romance Query

Looks a lot better.
by arbraun
September 28th, 2010, 3:39 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Whip-Slip query
Replies: 68
Views: 8994

Re: The Whip-Slip query

It's been my experience that the "weapon of mass destruction" might be seen by agents as cliche or too vague. I liked everything else though.

Hope this helps.
by arbraun
September 28th, 2010, 3:36 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query--BOOK OF SHADOWS, Horror
Replies: 11
Views: 1585

Re: Query--BOOK OF SHADOWS, Horror

Wow! Thanks for all the critiques, everyone! I didn't expect this many this soon. I have the problem (a problem I don't have with my other books, the non-newbie rough drafts, though I have had Book of Shadows critiqued) of having KD as the protagonist/antagonist, and Alex as the true protagonist, bu...
by arbraun
September 28th, 2010, 3:18 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for Book of the Watchers-YA Horror *A new angle*
Replies: 30
Views: 5329

Re: Query for Book of the Watchers-YA Horror *A new angle*

You're very welcome, bookwatcher.
by arbraun
September 26th, 2010, 9:03 am
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: If you were an agent....
Replies: 12
Views: 4369

Re: If you were an agent....

I'd sign all those Leisure Horror authors who should be making a lot more money than they are. Very talented people deserve to reap rewards (if they didn't already have agents). I'd do the same for the thriller authors on Dorchester. I'd also take on authors in other genres, if they were as talented...
by arbraun
September 26th, 2010, 8:57 am
Forum: Self-Publishing
Topic: Social responsiblity (the greater good) and the author
Replies: 21
Views: 5668

Re: Social responsiblity (the greater good) and the author

I think if people are so disturbed that they'll commit a violent crime, they'll do it anyway, whether they read a horror or bizarro novel or not. I've been a fan of horror since I was five, and I'm not a criminal. It's cathartic to me, actually makes me less hostile.
by arbraun
September 26th, 2010, 8:53 am
Forum: Procrastination
Topic: What's your price?
Replies: 24
Views: 5460

Re: What's your price?

I've invested too much time and training to walk away from writing for any amount of money. Plus, it's my passion, so if I hit the Powerball, I'd still write. Perhaps I could start my own agency then, with my books coming out before anyone else's.
by arbraun
September 26th, 2010, 8:52 am
Forum: Procrastination
Topic: What's your price?
Replies: 24
Views: 5460

Re: What's your price?

I've invested too much time and training to walk away from writing for any amount of money. Plus, it's my passion, so if I hit the Powerball, I'd still write. Perhaps I could start my own agency then, with my books coming out before anyone else's.