Search found 104 matches

by clara_w
September 21st, 2010, 4:14 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for The Husky and The Boy #3 on page 2
Replies: 12
Views: 2435

Re: Query for The Husky and The Boy #3 on page 2

I think this story is lovely. But like wilderness said, Janet has a post saying to put the whole story on the query.
I really wish I could help you more, but Im not familiar with this market...
Still, I just LOVED your premise.
by clara_w
September 20th, 2010, 11:16 am
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Synopsis: Jade's Hurricane
Replies: 7
Views: 2031

Re: Synopsis: Jade's Hurricane

Thank you so much notw =)
by clara_w
September 20th, 2010, 11:16 am
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: North Woods Assassin
Replies: 6
Views: 1794

Re: North Woods Assassin

This is the first draft of my 853 word synopsis. I use the snowflake method so it'll eventually be my outline. I'm looking forward to all critiques, thank you! Michael Donatello is an ex-mafia contract killer for the Marcuccio crime family who chooses to leave the life after a failed hit cause’s di...
by clara_w
September 20th, 2010, 4:54 am
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Synopsis-Forsaken
Replies: 11
Views: 2800

Re: Synopsis-Forsaken

Thanks in advance for the advice :) Anna’s sixteenth birthday should have been a time celebrating her transition into adulthood, but instead it marks the brutal murder of her family members. With nowhere else to go, Anna heads into the small village of Litchfield to find family friends, Dermot and ...
by clara_w
September 20th, 2010, 4:41 am
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Synopsis: Jade's Hurricane
Replies: 7
Views: 2031

Synopsis: Jade's Hurricane

Hi everyone, Just on a very important note: English isn't my native language, so, there are some obvious mistakes here but I will correct them on further versions (this is a rough draft grammar wise, but almost final plot wise). As always, your help is extremely valuable! Thank you so much! ********...
by clara_w
September 20th, 2010, 4:36 am
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Riding on the Tail of the Devil- synopsis
Replies: 6
Views: 1861

Re: Riding on the Tail of the Devil- synopsis

I really liked this story! I think the ending distoned a bit from the rest, I'd leave it out. Also, explaining why Mathias is so dangerous would be good. Is it just because hes a reincarnation of Mathias? If so, I'd put that in a sentence, like. " merely because he is a reinc...." One very important...
by clara_w
September 19th, 2010, 5:30 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY- YA Mystery- Mad as a Hatter
Replies: 30
Views: 4164

Re: QUERY- YA Mystery- Mad as a Hatter

Thank you for the help, everyone! - - - The year is 1882, and London is in a state of terror due to a string of brutal murders. Not the best way to enter the Yuletide season. Id start with In 1882, London is..., or something like that When he was a child, a madman kidnapped fourteen-year-old Marqui...
by clara_w
September 19th, 2010, 5:16 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Jade's Hurricane: 6th try
Replies: 9
Views: 1318

Re: Jade's Hurricane: 6th try

Thank you all so much!
I posted the 7th version, taking 99% of your advices.

Thank you so much (again)!
by clara_w
August 27th, 2010, 5:36 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Jade's Hurricane: 6th try
Replies: 9
Views: 1318

Jade's Hurricane: 6th try

All right, so I have a good reason for this: I went crazy on my query and re-did it all. Mostly because I spent a whole morning reading Nathan's every single post about queries, and a 85 pages book about it. Hopefully, it's working a bit better then before. As always, your help means the WORLD to me...
by clara_w
August 27th, 2010, 5:18 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Don't come to the House Tonight - edited
Replies: 30
Views: 4707

Re: Don't come to the House Tonight - edited

I like this new version! Janie Lloyd was having a bad day; the hot, humid heat had given her a migraine and she was so bored with life that even tormenting the office junior had lost its fun. On top of this, her mother called to tell her a body had been dug up near Janie’s childhood home; the body o...
by clara_w
August 27th, 2010, 5:11 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Equinox -- YA romance (take 3)
Replies: 16
Views: 2689

Re: Query: Equinox -- YA romance (take 3)

On take 3: For Kenzie Johnson, keeping her mom around just got a lot harder. Kenzie is on a first name basis with her mom. Her mom is never around and she doesn't even try to be--staying alive is more of her priority than being a wife or a mom. It doesn't help that Kenzie is involved with a boy that...
by clara_w
August 27th, 2010, 5:02 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Mortimers Dream, YA fantasy *BETTER UPDATE PG 3*
Replies: 30
Views: 5014

Re: Mortimers Dream, YA fantasy *BETTER UPDATE PG 3*

Ops! Ok, here's my inputs on the latest version! Dear Agent, Desmoree shale is a feisty fashion photographer living in Belfox, Australia. The death of her mother breaks the spell of protection, revealing her to the seers, and awakening her dormant fairy abilities. A great, great beginning. Desmoree ...
by clara_w
August 27th, 2010, 4:55 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query -- The Color of Gothic, 2nd Try
Replies: 14
Views: 2194

Re: Query -- The Color of Gothic, 2nd Try

Dear Agent XXXXX Jonathan Blair fell from the pulpit to a life of crime. Arrested and convicted for murder, Blair trades his death sentence for a job as a bounty hunter to bring in—dead or alive—the members of his former gang. Now he has two weeks left to find the last man or face execution instead ...
by clara_w
August 26th, 2010, 8:31 am
Forum: Procrastination
Topic: Forum game: Random facts about you
Replies: 126
Views: 32073

Re: Forum game: Random facts about you

That was precious! I particularly liked :Until I was 16 I would run and jump the last four feet to my bed so the man hiding under it couldn't grab me feet. Bones is also one of my favourite shows. Okay, so I eat honey with cramambert cheese. It's really good. And I laugh at the most unfunny joke in ...
by clara_w
August 22nd, 2010, 5:27 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query attempt for DIE AGAIN.
Replies: 19
Views: 2475

Re: Query attempt for DIE AGAIN.

Oh HAIL YEAH! This query you´ve just posted on comments (I think its right above my comment) KICKS LE ASS my friend. Seriously! Its way clearer and it pulled me right in, I really liked it!