Search found 707 matches

by Claudie
June 10th, 2010, 12:54 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: The Butterfly Key - Prologue first 4 paragraphs
Replies: 9
Views: 1611

Re: The Butterfly Key - Prologue first 4 paragraphs

Okay, I really enjoyed how this started. You have a good descriptive language, and by the time you come to the train collision, I felt all warm and cozy. Then you give your reader the sense that something bad will happen. Only, we never get to see what happens. The action is vague and the narrator t...
by Claudie
June 10th, 2010, 12:36 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: "Chasing Light" (Working Title) CHAPTER 1- [New Version]
Replies: 8
Views: 1833

Re: "Chasing Light" (Working Title) Prologue

Well, you can colour me intrigued, but I have to say I wasn't overly interested until you got to the last paragraph. The reversal of the situation is great, though. As to why it didn't work out, I think it's because I don't get a strong sense of the characters. I wouldn't mind if it was only the par...