Search found 85 matches

by Meredith
June 14th, 2010, 1:44 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Incredible Race Query Letter
Replies: 57
Views: 7076

Re: The Incredible Race Query Letter

Three things spring to mind on first reading. If Sir Hugo died at ninety, I'm guessing that his kids are in their sixties and seventies. If this isn't the case, you might want to make it clear early on. You don't give a genre. From the humorous feel of the story, my first guess would by YA, but the ...
by Meredith
June 13th, 2010, 12:26 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: TO SAVE A KINGDOM mg adventure
Replies: 12
Views: 1728

Re: TO SAVE A KINGDOM mg adventure

This is my query. My concerns are that the first sentence is passive, and the rest reads like a synopsis for a very tired trope. I don't think the ms reads that way, but I'm struggling to fit my voice into the query without going off on tangents that don't run central to the plot. Anyways, here it ...
by Meredith
June 13th, 2010, 12:06 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Hidden in Shadows - Urban Fantasy
Replies: 20
Views: 3554

Re: Hidden in Shadows - Urban Fantasy

Dear Agent: Lorna McCloud likes to think she's an assassin for the money and because she's good at it. But the real reason, because she was traumatized after witnessing her father's murder, is one she longs to keep buried. I wouldn't start the second sentence with a conjunction. Can you shorten the...
by Meredith
June 11th, 2010, 8:00 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Stalked - Query take 1
Replies: 8
Views: 1790

Re: The Stalked - Query take 1

I have been working on several novels at once, thus unable to update my blog much, lol. But either way this is the most recent book I am finished and I am very excited about querying it. The one problem I am seeing myself is that its a tad long, but hopefully you guys can help me out with that. Mai...
by Meredith
June 11th, 2010, 11:22 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: BLOOD WILL TELL, Urban Fantasy, Temporarily Retired
Replies: 34
Views: 5220

Re: Query for BLOOD WILL TELL, Urban Fantasy

Thank you both. I'll be posting a revison hopefully in the next couple of days.

I'm curious. I've read many places, including here, that agents like to see that a writer has a website or blog. If not in the body of the query, where would you put this information?
by Meredith
June 10th, 2010, 11:37 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: BLOOD WILL TELL, Urban Fantasy, Temporarily Retired
Replies: 34
Views: 5220

BLOOD WILL TELL, Urban Fantasy, Temporarily Retired

The newest version is on page 3. This is approximately the fourth version of the query for this novel. Have at it. Revised version below. I tried to take all of the feedback into account. I don't disagree with the advice to use something stronger than "plot" in the first paragraph. After three days...
by Meredith
June 10th, 2010, 11:32 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: I'm A Nobody, newest on page four
Replies: 34
Views: 5778

Re: I'm A Nobody, YA Fantasy

This sounds interesting, and I think I remember seeing an excerpt before. In one of the contests? I think it needs to be pared down more for a query. Some things can be saved for the synopsis. Not all questions need to be answered here. I've fallen into that trap one too many times myself. Dear (Age...
by Meredith
June 10th, 2010, 10:13 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Urban Fantasy - CHANNELING TROUBLE (revised)
Replies: 3
Views: 784

Re: YA Urban Fantasy - CHANNELING TROUBLE (revised)

I'm a long way from being an expert on queries since I'm still trying to hit that sweet spot myself. That said, this feels like too much of a synopsis to me. I think it's just too long. I've rewritten this with the premise-complication-stakes format and then gone over it again and again with my CP's...
by Meredith
June 9th, 2010, 5:48 pm
Forum: Town Hall
Topic: The Introduction Thread
Replies: 618
Views: 197267

Re: The Introduction Thread

Hi, I'm Meredith Mansfield. So far, I've spent my writers' forum time over at Hatrack RIver Writers Workshop, which is geared specifically to speculative fiction. But more perspectives on this crazy adventure are always a good thing. I write fantasy. Mostly second world, but I've also written an urb...
by Meredith
June 9th, 2010, 3:57 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 720
Views: 286354

Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

BLOOD WILL TELL Urban Fantasy 248 words Chapter 1: A Death in the Family Valeriah launched herself over the locked gate and raced on down the dirt path. The cliff-top trail was closed at night for good reason; one misstep could end in a fatal fall to the jagged rocks and crashing waves below. Even o...