Search found 31 matches

by Gina Frost
June 11th, 2010, 3:59 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Prologue: Charlie's Junk Shop
Replies: 5
Views: 1198

Re: Prologue: Charlie's Junk Shop

I love it! There are a few places I would add commas, maybe shorten the first paragraph, break it up a bit. I think it would read better if you broke the sentence below into two sentences: ~The trees from the city park threw disturbing shadows across the pavement and the church, which sat on the cor...
by Gina Frost
June 11th, 2010, 3:50 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: All good - thanks
Replies: 6
Views: 1152

Re: Need help with opening scene - adult fantasy

Wow, I am intrigued, ready to read more. Excellent job!
by Gina Frost
June 9th, 2010, 5:24 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 720
Views: 283007

Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Title: Dream Walker (working title) Genre: Fantasy I opened my eyes, disoriented at first, unsure of where I was or how I had gotten here. The golden brown eyes of my tormentor haunted me again through the night, gazing into my soul, breaking through the blackness of my dreamless sleep, waking me. H...
by Gina Frost
June 8th, 2010, 8:13 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: You Know You're a Writer When...
Replies: 26
Views: 4978

Re: You Know You're a Writer When...

You know you're a writer when... you start wishing the characters in your books were real, cos they're soo much more cooler than real folks! :P This would be me, although I have to admit that almost all of them are. When I am not writing, I am thinking about it, regarding every situation as a poten...
by Gina Frost
June 8th, 2010, 7:32 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: On the Fringe Page One
Replies: 5
Views: 1129

Re: On the Fringe Page One

~ but as Hannah fondled her frat boy and she cried with sexual satisfaction instead~ ~ As I felt the wood of the podium clack under my three inch heels, and I prayed I wouldn’t trip~ The 'and' in the above two sentences is out of place, you should take those out and use a comma instead. The rest is ...
by Gina Frost
June 8th, 2010, 6:05 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Excerpt--Shades of Gray: A Jude Magdalyn Novel
Replies: 6
Views: 2029

Re: Excerpt--Shades of Gray: A Jude Magdalyn Novel

I love the story line, would be interested to read more. However, I would watch out for the over-abundance of words with that dreaded -ly ending. It would read better without them, or at least so many of them.
by Gina Frost
June 8th, 2010, 5:16 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Full Micro-Fiction Piece
Replies: 6
Views: 1180

Re: Full Micro-Fiction Piece

Very demented. I love it! It is amazing how you seemed to create an entire story in such a short piece of work.
by Gina Frost
June 8th, 2010, 4:42 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: The Last Highway (working title)-Page 1
Replies: 17
Views: 3464

Re: The Last Highway (working title)-Page 1 (revised)

I updated, thought a little more about the story, changing things up a bit and making what was originally Chapter One the prologue to the story. It is more a precursor to where I want the story to actually begin. Will post more as soon as I have it, if there is enough interest. The Last Highway Prol...
by Gina Frost
June 7th, 2010, 4:57 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: The Last Highway (working title)-Page 1
Replies: 17
Views: 3464

Re: The Last Highway (working title)-Page 1

Thank you all for your replies so far! I am working on the edits on this and will repost as soon as I get it worked out.
by Gina Frost
June 6th, 2010, 6:21 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: The Last Highway (working title)-Page 1
Replies: 17
Views: 3464

The Last Highway (working title)-Page 1

Excerpt has been updated. Please refer to Post #16 on Page 2 for the new version. Thank You This is the first page of a new book I am starting. I have done no editing yet and am hoping for feedback or suggestions before I go too far with this story. I am currently only 7 pages in. I am not certain ...
by Gina Frost
June 5th, 2010, 10:07 pm
Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
Topic: Do you need a Critique Partner?
Replies: 21
Views: 6728

Re: Do you need a Critique Partner?

I am new to the forums, have already left comments on some of the excerpts that people have written and have done one critique exchange which I enjoyed very much. If anyone is looking for someone to critique their work, please send me a PM. I am not an expert in all the details of grammar, but I am ...
by Gina Frost
June 5th, 2010, 6:55 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Thistledown: Genesis, Jay's story: Birth
Replies: 9
Views: 2029

Re: Thistledown: Genesis, Jay's story: Birth

I am used to plot driven stories. Maybe something of a plot would be a good bonus, but even without one, this would be a good read, something like a sci-fi autobiography of the synth. Either way, I would read it all.
by Gina Frost
June 5th, 2010, 6:09 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Sample Page, extra eyes needed
Replies: 32
Views: 5067

Re: Sample Page, extra eyes needed

I have no critique either except to say that I enjoyed the first version so much better. If flowed better for me, evoked the feeling and emotion that I know you were going for. This is something altogether different than anything I have ever read and I am eager to read more.
by Gina Frost
June 5th, 2010, 5:35 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Excerpt that is sort of a short story...
Replies: 5
Views: 1024

Re: Excerpt that is sort of a short story...

I think the imagery is amazing in this piece of work. The details of his thoughts about the world around him is not overdone for me at all. The words seem to flow, putting you right there, seeing what he sees. It is difficult, however, to know where exactly the character is at the moment, the flashb...
by Gina Frost
June 4th, 2010, 2:34 pm
Forum: Town Hall
Topic: The Introduction Thread
Replies: 616
Views: 192414

Re: The Introduction Thread

My name is Gina Frost. I am an almost 40 year old unpublished writer. It was my desire to change that to a published writer that brought me to Nathan's blog, which I have followed religiously for a few months now. Only recently, as in this week, have I actually joined his site and contributed to one...