Search found 71 matches

by JadePhoenix
August 29th, 2010, 10:59 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Sacrificial Magic
Replies: 11
Views: 2247

Re: Query: Sacrificial Magic

Okay, I'll give it a shot. First off, you probably want to cut it down. It's approaching synopsis length instead of query. You don't neet to hit on every single plot point - just the main "spine" of the book. A to B to C, the rest can go in a synopsis if the agent requests it. I addressed this to Na...
by JadePhoenix
August 29th, 2010, 10:27 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Shadows - First Chapter (Revised)
Replies: 26
Views: 7521

Shadows - First Chapter (Revised)

*All right, I finished the first chapter and added it as a new post. You'll notice the page here appears nowhere in it. In doing some further research and reflection I realized the page, and much of what came after, could be removed and it wouldn't change anything. In other words, it was the start ...
by JadePhoenix
August 27th, 2010, 8:22 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: The Enemy Within
Replies: 7
Views: 1338

Re: Query: The Enemy Within

Is this a love story or a story of revenge? You seem to have two different threads - she's pissed by her father's muder and wants to restore his horse farm, and then - she's dealing with the husband and the English guy (and isn't even in America anymore at that point). You seem to switch - she "long...
by JadePhoenix
August 27th, 2010, 7:58 pm
Forum: Ask Nathan
Topic: Old Ask Nathan Thread
Replies: 793
Views: 231438

Re: Ask Nathan

Ah, there it is, thank you Nathan! I knew you'd addressed it, and I knew I'd read it in the past, but I couldn't seem to find it! Thank you, thank you. :)
by JadePhoenix
August 27th, 2010, 3:49 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Jade's Hurricane: 6th try
Replies: 9
Views: 1444

Re: Jade's Hurricane: 6th try

All right, so I have a good reason for this: I went crazy on my query and re-did it all. Mostly because I spent a whole morning reading Nathan's every single post about queries, and a 85 pages book about it. Hopefully, it's working a bit better then before. As always, your help means the WORLD to m...
by JadePhoenix
August 27th, 2010, 3:32 pm
Forum: Ask Nathan
Topic: Old Ask Nathan Thread
Replies: 793
Views: 231438

Re: Ask Nathan

Hi Nathan, I had a question that I know I saw answered somewhere but I can't find it so I'm sorry for having to ask again! Anyway, I've been sending queries and got three requests for partials. All three agents ended up rejecting them, but all three said the EXACT same two things were wrong with the...
by JadePhoenix
May 28th, 2010, 6:59 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for "Problem Child: Confessions of an Aspie" (Take 3)
Replies: 12
Views: 2844

Re: Query for "Problem Child: Confessions of an Aspie"

Actually, your most recent post made me want to read your book more than your query letter. :) It shows exactly what your hook is, shows how your work is different from other works, shows the passion you feel for it, and sounds confident and not the least bit arrogant. While your query letter stated...
by JadePhoenix
May 28th, 2010, 12:19 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: EVEN NEWER REVISIONS - QUERY - EXILED
Replies: 29
Views: 5445

Re: EVEN NEWER REVISIONS - QUERY - EXILED

I haven't posted on your query before but I've been lurking and this one is a SERIOUS improvement! That's not saying that the first one was horrible or anything, but this one is really very good! I only saw a few tiny things that I would change and at least two are probably more of a stylistic thing...
by JadePhoenix
May 27th, 2010, 3:55 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for "Problem Child: Confessions of an Aspie" (Take 3)
Replies: 12
Views: 2844

Re: Query for "Problem Child: Confessions of an Aspie"

As you mention in your query there are other books out there that deal with growing up with Autism so what sets yours apart from the others? Tim Page wrote "Parallel Play: Growing Up with Undiagnosed Asperger's" so there are definitely agents out there willing to take interest in such a project. Pag...
by JadePhoenix
May 21st, 2010, 10:52 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Too much for my poor little nerves
Replies: 10
Views: 1864

Re: Too much for my poor little nerves

Start on a second book idea that you're really excited about. I did and it really helped.
by JadePhoenix
May 21st, 2010, 10:48 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
Replies: 24
Views: 4330

Re: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS

Jade, your point is well made regarding the title. I had actually changed it to GHOSTS AND ALIENS at one point but never could get the whole Versus thing out of my head. You know how those things get stuck up in there right? BigHead, they do see other ghosts from times past, but not much. I have re...
by JadePhoenix
May 21st, 2010, 3:43 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
Replies: 24
Views: 4330

Re: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS

This is a really good query. Pretty much the only few small things I saw have already been pointed out by others so I won't rehash them. The only point I would mention is the title - you did say it's tongue in cheek and a working title but if you do use it you're inviting comparisons between your bo...
by JadePhoenix
May 21st, 2010, 3:34 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Rejection Stats
Replies: 227
Views: 107304

Re: Rejection Stats

Not bad at all, congrats! :)
by JadePhoenix
May 21st, 2010, 3:32 pm
Forum: Ask Nathan
Topic: Old Ask Nathan Thread
Replies: 793
Views: 231438

Re: Ask Nathan

You could always publish under your full name or a different form of it - John Fitzgerald Smith for example, or John F. Smith, J.F. Smith, J. Smith, etc. That gives you a few more options when trying to get the domain name. People will search whatever the name on the book says - once they get there ...
by JadePhoenix
May 18th, 2010, 12:40 am
Forum: Ask Nathan
Topic: Old Ask Nathan Thread
Replies: 793
Views: 231438

Re: Ask Nathan

Hi Nathan, I had a question I was hoping you could help me out with. I queried an agent and she requested a partial which I sent. I noticed though that she's one of the agents on the Diabetes Auction site offering a consultation. Would it be out of line to bid on her when I already have a partial w...