Search found 71 matches

by JadePhoenix
September 13th, 2010, 2:30 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Dealing with Perfectionism
Replies: 11
Views: 4182

Re: Dealing with Perfectionism

I do have to do a major rewrite unfortunately. The agents basically loved my idea - but the manuscript was far to much telling/not enough showing, they weren't keen on the plot, and they weren't connecting with my MC (I'm assuming it's because of the telling/showing thing - one agent told me she did...
by JadePhoenix
September 13th, 2010, 1:58 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Shadows - First Chapter (Revised)
Replies: 26
Views: 7521

Re: Shadows - First Chapter (Revised)

Repost just in case someone jumps right to the newest post and doesn't see where I added this to the first post. *All right, I finished the first chapter and added it as a new post. You'll notice the page here appears nowhere in it. In doing some further research and reflection I realized the page, ...
by JadePhoenix
September 12th, 2010, 12:40 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: The Son of the Spider (YA)
Replies: 10
Views: 2343

Re: The Son of the Spider (YA)

Spider Lady creeped me out, which she's supposed to, so good job on that! Anyway, this is all I see so I'll leave it at that and let others on the boards comment. It's always good to get more than one point of view and more than one opinion! I like this book, it seems somewhat Harry Potterish in sty...
by JadePhoenix
September 12th, 2010, 12:33 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: The Son of the Spider (YA)
Replies: 10
Views: 2343

Re: The Son of the Spider (YA)

That is so much better. I am now jealous. :) :) Ah, I see what it is. What happened is I read your query on the query page and I don't think it mentioned the Spider Lady at all. So then I came over here and was going, "what? who is this person?" That's not anything you have to change, btw, at least ...
by JadePhoenix
September 12th, 2010, 12:29 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Brand New WHAT A PAINE! Funny UF
Replies: 12
Views: 1752

Re: Brand New WHAT A PAINE! Funny UF

I think you need just a little more about the bureau. You don't need to go into nitpicky detail but, as it is right now, it sounds like an organization that does nothing which raises the question, why is it there? You could even do something like call it the "Paranormal version of the Red Cross" or ...
by JadePhoenix
September 11th, 2010, 1:33 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: North Woods Assassin
Replies: 6
Views: 2005

Re: North Woods Assassin

I just wanted to mention I think your title is really cool. Every time I check the forums and see it I think, "that is such a cool title!" :)
by JadePhoenix
September 11th, 2010, 1:30 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Brand New WHAT A PAINE! Funny UF
Replies: 12
Views: 1752

Re: Brand New WHAT A PAINE! Funny UF

I don't think you have to worry. Your query reminds me of the "Carpe Demon" books by Julie Kenner about a demon hunting mom living a quiet, normal life in the suburbs, when demons aren't following her home from Walmart to kill her that is. Her books are awesome and you seem to have the same style of...
by JadePhoenix
September 11th, 2010, 12:05 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: The Son of the Spider (YA)
Replies: 10
Views: 2343

Re: The Son of the Spider (YA)

On the first Monday of every month, the Spider Lady would arrive at their door. The Spider Lady was the landlord of Slum Lane , where the MacAlastairs and many other poor families lived. The Slum Lane families quaked in fear when the Spider Lady came to collect the rent, for they knew that , if the...
by JadePhoenix
September 11th, 2010, 12:03 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: The Son of the Spider (YA)
Replies: 10
Views: 2343

Re: The Son of the Spider (YA)

On the first Monday of every month, the Spider Lady would arrive at their door. The Spider Lady was the landlord of Slum Lane , where the MacAlastairs and many other poor families lived. The Slum Lane families quaked in fear when the Spider Lady came to collect the rent, for they knew that , if the...
by JadePhoenix
September 10th, 2010, 4:55 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Dealing with Perfectionism
Replies: 11
Views: 4182

Re: Dealing with Perfectionism

Thanks all. I do love writing and I love my book and characters - I just need to push past the "Am I Crazies?" and the perfectionism. I want it PERFECT right away, so I end up slaving over the stupid first page or first chapter and not writing anything else. Even when I say to myself "it's a rough" ...
by JadePhoenix
September 10th, 2010, 1:30 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query- Forever Young: The Rebirth- final version?
Replies: 25
Views: 3740

Re: Query- Forever Young: The Rebirth- newest version

You're going to hate me, but I liked this one. :) In the end it's up to you so feel free to disregard or not as you wish. I do agree with you, however, that this is the best one yet! thanx for the suggestions! You have some valid points. This query is definitely the best one yet, in my opinion, but ...
by JadePhoenix
September 9th, 2010, 11:39 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Young Adult paranormal romance
Replies: 11
Views: 2081

Re: Young Adult paranormal romance

I don't think it's so much that 'Oh, your book is Twilight with aliens", it's more that your query makes it SOUND like it is. I don't know if that makes sense, but it does to me! :) Anyway, you just need to make sure that your query shows what YOUR book is about, not the similarities it has with Twi...
by JadePhoenix
September 9th, 2010, 11:31 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query- Forever Young: The Rebirth- final version?
Replies: 25
Views: 3740

Re: Query- Forever Young: The Rebirth- newest version

I think this is good and it's an interesting premise. Here are the few things I noticed - I'm no expert of course so feel free to do whatever you want. Good luck on your querying! :) thanks for the constructive critcism! I decided to take the query in a whole other direction, especially with what wh...
by JadePhoenix
September 7th, 2010, 3:27 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Dealing with Perfectionism
Replies: 11
Views: 4182

Re: Dealing with Perfectionism

Thanks. I know I'll get past it eventually. I need to follow the advice from a poem I read (the name and title both utterly escape me) where the is poet dealing with second guessing and going round and round only to have his muse speak up and say something along the lines of, "fool, take up your pen...
by JadePhoenix
September 7th, 2010, 12:05 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Dealing with Perfectionism
Replies: 11
Views: 4182

Dealing with Perfectionism

I finished my first book a while ago and had some friends read it. They all came back with, "it's good". That right there told me something was wrong (why isn't it great?) but, having no other recourse, I started querying it. I received a number of positive rejections (serious oxymoron right there) ...