Search found 37 matches

by ceiser
April 29th, 2010, 3:46 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA fantasy query - CHANNELING TROUBLE
Replies: 10
Views: 2003

Re: YA fantasy query - CHANNELING TROUBLE

Hi. New here so don't take me too seriously. You are most likely right about a YA audience not understanding the established meaning of channeling, but I have to agree with everyone else - you can't ignore that there's this thing that's been around and called channeling since long before any of us w...
by ceiser
April 29th, 2010, 2:35 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: SF Query: THE ARTIFACT COMPETITION
Replies: 45
Views: 8579

SF Query: THE ARTIFACT COMPETITION

*The Newest Latest Version is currently on page 5* Hi. I'm really new here. I've been trying to get around and offer feedback (such that it is), but still feel a bit like a cheater posting my query. Anyway any feedback would be greatly appreciated. This is a revamped version of a query that Nathan ...
by ceiser
April 28th, 2010, 10:55 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Seeking feedback on my Rejected Query
Replies: 10
Views: 1934

Re: Seeking feedback on my Rejected Query

Hi. Please don't take anything I say as gospel - I'm new here, but here are my two cents. I have chosen to submit to you because I enjoy your writing style and have found your website an excellent resource for a new novelist. this should probably go at the end of your query First there’s Griffin Tut...
by ceiser
April 28th, 2010, 10:20 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Fantasy Query - I wish this will be the last!
Replies: 20
Views: 3620

Re: YA Fantasy Query - I wish this will be the last!

Still very green at this, and just my impressions so please take them with a grain of salt. I know putting a query together is a very frustrating business. I think you've got a solid idea here, but I had some trouble with some of the phrasing. Your first sentence seems rather long and a little awkwa...
by ceiser
April 28th, 2010, 10:55 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Hunting in the Dark - Urban Fantasy TAKE 3
Replies: 18
Views: 3042

Re: Query - Hunting in the Dark - Urban Fantasy TAKE 2

Hi. I'm exceedingly new at this, so feel free to ignore me. I like the idea and I this 2nd version is definitely an improvement, but it feels to me that there's still too much detail. With a bit more pruning I think it'll really stand out. Version 2. Please let me know your thoughts. Thanks for your...
by ceiser
April 28th, 2010, 10:28 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Isabella Vampirella Revision
Replies: 12
Views: 2199

Re: Query: Isabella Vampirella Revision

New at this and not an expert (at anything!), but I think you're better off with commas here instead of semicolons.
kenpochick wrote:Isabella is thrilled to be starting the third grade with her friends Betha; a witch, and Jack; a werewolf.
Love the idea, though, even if I'm not into kids books.
by ceiser
April 28th, 2010, 9:48 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Mallory's Story- Rip it apart. :D
Replies: 13
Views: 2580

Re: Query Mallory's Story- Rip it apart. :D

Hi. Brand spanking new at this, but here goes.

This sounds like a really intriguing idea, but I'd have to agree with some of the other posters. I kept waiting for something to come to head as the query went on, but it just sort of petered out. That's fixable though.