Search found 72 matches

by rainbowsheeps
April 9th, 2010, 6:59 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: MG Novel Query
Replies: 14
Views: 2417

Re: MG Novel Query

Okay here's #3. Thanks for the patience everyone: Twelve-year-old Sarah doesn’t believe in any of that guff about magic or the supernatural . but All of that all changes when her little sister, Jane, disappears before her eyes during a game of hide and seek. Sarah soon finds herself sneaking into h...
by rainbowsheeps
April 9th, 2010, 6:32 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: VALENTINE, New Revision & stuff
Replies: 33
Views: 5359

Query: VALENTINE, New Revision & stuff

* NEW VERSION ON THIRD PAGE! So, this is mine. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. And thank you! Dear Specific Agent, Nineteen-year-old Adam has just failed a suicide attempt. His five-year-old sister, Evelyn, saw him bleeding on the floor pressing a gun to his head. Every night, Adam tucks her i...
by rainbowsheeps
April 9th, 2010, 12:18 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised query, Paranormal romance, I WOULD HAVE LOVED YOU AN
Replies: 6
Views: 1360

Re: Revised query, Paranormal romance, I WOULD HAVE LOVED YOU AN

Again I say thanks for your comments. I always fight with myself over how much to tell and still make the agent want to know more. In my story the man who tries to kill her escapes from prison and comes back at the end of the novel, making one last attempt to kill her...of course no spell worth its...
by rainbowsheeps
April 8th, 2010, 12:12 am
Forum: Ask Nathan
Topic: Old Ask Nathan Thread
Replies: 793
Views: 197355

Re: Ask Nathan

Nathan, First off, thanks so much for this. I have a story told in the first person perspective of a young adult who is skeptical about God. His religious opinion is made clear later on in the book, but throughout the story, usage of "God" is done in lower case because of his beliefs. It isn't meant...
by rainbowsheeps
April 7th, 2010, 8:46 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for DRAGON QUEEN
Replies: 17
Views: 2426

Re: Query for DRAGON QUEEN

Still don't know why you mention the shape of the rock pillow if it isn't going to be a dragon! I assumed the shape of the rock is included to show the character's devotion to the concept of dragons. She loves them so much she abandons her princess bed to sleep on a rock that's shaped like one... h...
by rainbowsheeps
April 7th, 2010, 4:04 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for DRAGON QUEEN
Replies: 17
Views: 2426

Re: Query for DRAGON QUEEN

Hi, y'all. I've been lurking around the forum and trying to be helpful in the hopes that some of you might take pity on me and peek at my query. This is a query for a work that is currently receiving some minor revisions, but I hope that by the time I have the revisions done, this query will be spa...
by rainbowsheeps
April 7th, 2010, 12:01 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query-Akasha one more time...I think
Replies: 16
Views: 3855

Re: Query-Akasha One more time...I think

All right- if I could get a couple pair of eyes to look at this one last time that would be great. My greatest concern is saying Nichole's name too much. Are three names too many for a query? I think it would flow better if I gave Nichole's mother's name. Thoughts? Historical and fantasy is not usu...
by rainbowsheeps
April 6th, 2010, 2:59 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Gilded Wings
Replies: 25
Views: 4315

Re: Query: Gilded Wings

NEWEST QUERY: For seventeen-year-old Nicola Summers, finding her boyfriend Tristan chained to the driveway after being mugged by a street gang was not part of the plan. Beaten and knowing the rain is underway, he rejects Nicola’s help. Determined, Nicola tries to liberate him, but when the rain arr...
by rainbowsheeps
April 6th, 2010, 2:11 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Isabella Vampirella Revision
Replies: 12
Views: 1911

Re: Query: Isabella Vampirella Revision

Ok. I'm leaving the name as is and if miracles of miracles happen and I get an agent I will let them worry about it. :-) I added a little more of the plot to the query and I'm not sure if it's better or worse. Any feedback would be great! Dear Agent, Eight year old Isabella just knows her life will...
by rainbowsheeps
April 5th, 2010, 7:42 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY - THE NAMELESS
Replies: 11
Views: 2403

Re: QUERY - THE NAMELESS

First off, thanks to everyone who commented I found all the suggestions extremely helpful! (Especially Erica75, plus you made me laugh :) ) I feel like the query is almost there, but it just isn't making the story as clear as I would like. I should probably explain that there are other Nameless peo...
by rainbowsheeps
April 4th, 2010, 10:45 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY - THE NAMELESS
Replies: 11
Views: 2403

Re: QUERY - THE NAMELESS

Eighteen-year-old Erica Ann Dawson falls asleep in her bed in Batesfield, Connecticut and awakens (this isn't a problem, but I thought you might consider "awakes" as a more current form of the word, but I don't think it matters that much) to find herself driving down a four-lane highway. (This hook...
by rainbowsheeps
April 4th, 2010, 10:12 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query- Isabella Vampirella (EVIL EDITOR response at end)
Replies: 36
Views: 5788

Re: Query- Isabella Vampirella

I'm not a children's writer or reader myself, but I have to join in the chorus here and say that the premise is adorable. I think that alone makes it a solid win. Also, I enjoy the original spelling of "Isabella," if only because I think young children might have an easier time reading and saying it...