Search found 26 matches

by brandi_fey
April 8th, 2010, 12:15 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for DRAGON QUEEN
Replies: 17
Views: 2830

Re: Query for DRAGON QUEEN

Still don't know why you mention the shape of the rock pillow if it isn't going to be a dragon! I assumed the shape of the rock is included to show the character's devotion to the concept of dragons. She loves them so much she abandons her princess bed to sleep on a rock that's shaped like one... h...
by brandi_fey
April 7th, 2010, 4:14 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for DRAGON QUEEN
Replies: 17
Views: 2830

Re: Query for DRAGON QUEEN

OMG, thanks so much, rainbowsheeps! I'm doing a happy dance now. :)
by brandi_fey
April 7th, 2010, 3:58 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: Help with Synopsis!! Please Help!
Replies: 6
Views: 2407

Re: Help with Synopsis!! Please Help!

Drewes, it's really hard to cut on a synopsis. Been there, done that, but I shall strive to provide some insight. And, I'm sorry, but it is a habit of mine to point out typos when I see them, and, honestly, I think you can only benefit from that. ;) [quote="drewes202"] The Great War between vampire...
by brandi_fey
April 7th, 2010, 3:32 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for DRAGON QUEEN
Replies: 17
Views: 2830

Query for DRAGON QUEEN

Hi, y'all. I've been lurking around the forum and trying to be helpful in the hopes that some of you might take pity on me and peek at my query. This is a query for a work that is currently receiving some minor revisions, but I hope that by the time I have the revisions done, this query will be spar...
by brandi_fey
April 6th, 2010, 2:55 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Gilded Wings
Replies: 25
Views: 4882

Re: Query: Gilded Wings

NEWEST QUERY: For seventeen-year-old Nicola Summers, finding her boyfriend Tristan chained to the driveway after being mugged (just mugged? why don't you have him be beaten by here?) by a street gang was not part of the plan . (What plan? I imagine it would have to be a quirky plan to involve her b...
by brandi_fey
April 6th, 2010, 12:24 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query-Akasha one more time...I think
Replies: 16
Views: 4235

Re: Query-Akasha REVISED

All right, I finally revised my letter. Let me know what you think of the changes. First off, this is much better. The plot line comes out much clearer, but there are still a few spots that could use some clarification. Dear Agent, In 1879, sixteen-year-old Nichole leads the life most of her peers ...
by brandi_fey
April 1st, 2010, 4:13 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Gilded Wings
Replies: 25
Views: 4882

Re: QUERY: FEATHERS (YA -Fantasy-Romance)

I'm new to the forum. This is the first draft of my query. Feel free to speak your mind, and thank you in advance for you help. By the way, this is just the body of the query. _____________ Seventeen-year-old Nicola Summers , the newest resident of the gloomy town of Delia, (this sort of detracts f...
by brandi_fey
March 31st, 2010, 6:00 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query letter for Too Enchanted; fantasy (here we go again)
Replies: 10
Views: 2248

Re: Query letter for Too Enchanted *second times a charm*

I wrote in awhile ago with my first query letter and got some great feedback. Now I'm asking for it again, I've changed my book a lot and have adjusted my query letter to match. Please review and give helpful comments. Thank You. Dear Agent, Rynn’s job as a hero for hire often has gets her in to da...
by brandi_fey
March 31st, 2010, 5:42 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query-Akasha one more time...I think
Replies: 16
Views: 4235

Re: Query-Akasha

Dear specific agent, It started with a note. I found you. Less than forty-eight hours Two days later sixteen-year-old Nichole 's loses her mother dies in a fire, leaving her an orphan. In 1870 the town of Singer, PA is as superstitious as they get . The y superstitious residents of Singer, PA belie...
by brandi_fey
March 30th, 2010, 4:30 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: The importance (and difficulty) of gestures
Replies: 55
Views: 29809

Re: The importance (and difficulty) of gestures

I tend to overuse "eye gestures". Not necessarily eyerolls, but eyes flashing/darkening/brightening/narrowing, etc. Yes, it's my weakness so usually I have to revise and revise some more before its down to a reasonable number in my MS. Me, I'd rather see a physical gesture than a dialogue tag. I fee...
by brandi_fey
March 30th, 2010, 4:22 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Help Needed: ZOMBIE RABBIT
Replies: 13
Views: 3015

Re: Query Help Needed: ZOMBIE RABBIT

Everyone has given such excellent advice on this query, that I'll just chime in and agree. One thing that I will mention is that, to me, this was an enticing read. I wanted to pick up the story and read it, so I think you've got the gist of a query. All you need now is the polish. Best of luck and h...