Search found 54 matches

by bigheadx
June 21st, 2010, 5:37 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY - crime/police fiction
Replies: 32
Views: 5954

Re: QUERY - crime/police fiction

(for those still interested, hopefully tightening it a bit more without strangling my meaning...)   ~310-25 words Dear XXXZZZ,  September, 1970.  A prominent Las Vegas club owner turns up dead in a casino parking lot and outcast Sheriff’s Detective Heber Parkins is mysteriously handed the case, dra...
by bigheadx
June 17th, 2010, 8:50 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY - crime/police fiction
Replies: 32
Views: 5954

Re: QUERY - crime/police fiction

Uniformly excellent and supportive comments. I will be referring to each in the a.m. Hope I can someday return the favor. ;)
John
by bigheadx
June 17th, 2010, 5:48 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY - crime/police fiction
Replies: 32
Views: 5954

Re: QUERY - crime/police fiction

Thanks, Quill! After reading a few dozen blurbs (online and hardcopy) for crime/detective novels I realized my query was pretty close to those already. I've re-edited my query for this novel as if I was writing the dust-jacket "pitch."  Please feel free to tear apart my ~371 words.  ;o) Dear XXX,  ...
by bigheadx
June 17th, 2010, 4:52 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY - crime/police fiction
Replies: 32
Views: 5954

Re: QUERY - crime/police fiction

I've re-edited my query for this novel as if I was writing the dust-jacket "pitch."  Please feel free to tear apart my ~371 words.  ;o) Dear XXX,  September, 1970. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas because nobody gives a damn. Then a tourist finds a man with two slugs in his head in a car parked...
by bigheadx
May 28th, 2010, 1:32 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Nathan's query "template"
Replies: 20
Views: 3250

Re: Nathan's query "template"

Thanks, Poisonguy! Reading these shorthand forms really clears my mind and makes me want to go back and revisit several of my screenplay premise lines. ;) BigHeadX, I like J.T. Shea's version better. The flow is smoother to my deaf-tone ears. And, mmmmmm, moldly meatloaf. Here's mine (after a littl...
by bigheadx
May 27th, 2010, 4:24 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Nathan's query "template"
Replies: 20
Views: 3250

Re: Nathan's query "template"

I don't agree with your wife, Bigheadx. What about:- September 1970. Las Vegas sheriff's detective Heber Parkins is the outcast of his department. Then, mysteriously, he is assigned to a high profile gangland murder case. He must defy corrupt authorities and murderous thugs to discover who ordered ...
by bigheadx
May 27th, 2010, 3:12 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Nathan's query "template"
Replies: 20
Views: 3250

Re: Nathan's query "template"

Lets see what mine looks like. Chase Williams is an exiled demon hunter living in Stonewall, NY. When he finds out the demon hunters he grew up with plan to sacrifice his friend to summon the demon god Ithreal, Chase must enter a dark dimension to stop the hunters, rescue his friend and save the wo...
by bigheadx
May 27th, 2010, 3:07 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for "Problem Child: Confessions of an Aspie" (Take 3)
Replies: 12
Views: 2827

Re: Query for "Problem Child: Confessions of an Aspie"

This reader agrees with lachrymal's comments. Your personal experiences while growing up with this syndrome would be very powerful, but you have only described them in the most general terms: cognitive difficulties and social awkwardness... . I assume you have visited agent and agency websites/blog...
by bigheadx
May 27th, 2010, 2:57 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Nathan's query "template"
Replies: 20
Views: 3250

Re: Nathan's query "template"

]Neck-deep in query composition (okay, in over my head!), I decided to apply part of Nathan's template http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2008/03/query-letter-mad-lib.html to my crime/detective novel, JOEY'S PLACE. Not sure how it might help others, but I found it useful in making me think "outside" t...
by bigheadx
May 27th, 2010, 2:18 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Nathan's query "template"
Replies: 20
Views: 3250

Nathan's query "template"

Neck-deep in query composition (okay, in over my head!), I decided to apply part of Nathan's template http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2008/03/query-letter-mad-lib.html to my crime/detective novel, JOEY'S PLACE. Not sure how it might help others, but I found it useful in making me think "outside" th...
by bigheadx
May 24th, 2010, 4:49 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised query for DEVIL
Replies: 5
Views: 1424

Re: Revised query for DEVIL

If it is acceptable to you, I'll weigh-in on your fine query. Hey guys, I submitted this a few months ago, and got some great feedback. I've reworked it and thought I would post it here to see if anyone has any additional comments, etc. Thanks. You guys are the best. Terry Dear [agent], Newspaper e...
by bigheadx
May 24th, 2010, 4:21 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY - crime/police fiction
Replies: 32
Views: 5954

Re: QUERY - crime/police fiction

One step forward? or back? Latest query version at 361 words.... THANKS for the feedback! Dear , September 1970. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas because nobody gives a damn. Then a man with two slugs in his head is discovered in his car outside a casino. Bad for business. The Sheriff Department...
by bigheadx
May 21st, 2010, 4:32 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
Replies: 24
Views: 4304

Re: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS

.... BigHead, they do see other ghosts from times past, but not much. I have reasons for that. Part I is about getting used to life as a ghost, exploring Heavenly, etc. and discovering the new rules for their existence. Part II is HOLY CRAP ALIENS! and everything they need to do to "survive". ... N...
by bigheadx
May 21st, 2010, 1:59 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
Replies: 24
Views: 4304

Re: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS

I was just wondering, when everyone "wakes up dead" will they also see people who have died before them (naturally)? Thanks guys! Living creatures refers to all non-human life on earth. The humans are dead. All of them. (Well except one, but shhh! Secret.) The remnants of human civilization would be...
by bigheadx
May 20th, 2010, 6:18 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
Replies: 24
Views: 4304

Re: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS

Reading this fresh without looking at existing comments, here goes.... Hi all! I've contributed to these forums off and on for a while, so if you take a gander, I'll be sure to return the favor. Dear Agent: The day everyone died sucked for Lucy. [If everyone is dead, what are these "remnants" menti...