Search found 73 matches

by Erica75
March 20th, 2010, 5:15 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Critique - Overcast Shadows - First Try
Replies: 27
Views: 4968

Re: Query Critique - Overcast Shadows - First Try

I'm not the best for advice since I'm still perfecting my own query, but I want to bump you up and make a few points. 1. In all of your revisions, you've kept the part about the mc sparing the life of Gabriel. Considering the sentence says he almost loses his life to Gabriel, this seems odd. 2. I do...
by Erica75
March 20th, 2010, 2:46 pm
Forum: Procrastination
Topic: March Madness!!!
Replies: 125
Views: 35610

Re: March Madness!!!

Ink wrote:(five to go...)
"That's what I get for watching basketball and trying to count at the same time," she says, hoping no one noticed that a beer or two may have been involved.
by Erica75
March 20th, 2010, 11:48 am
Forum: Books
Topic: Kids and reading
Replies: 17
Views: 12166

Re: Kids and reading

I have to admit I haven't read all of the comments here. I just want to comment to the 3rd grade teacher (Charlotte?) Yes, parents of third graders do lie on their daily reading calendars. My son is great reader - in 3rd grade, he's reading at a 6th grade level and tests at 186 words per minute. I a...
by Erica75
March 20th, 2010, 11:32 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revision number six
Replies: 31
Views: 7027

Re: Query has been revised. Please comment.

I think most of Quill's advice was good, but half of the suggestions were that you were too vague and half were that you were too specific and I don't think that worked out very well. I'm not finding a voice in this new one and parts are just darn confusing. Not enough of a hook in the first sentenc...
by Erica75
March 20th, 2010, 10:47 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Formatting
Replies: 6
Views: 1271

Re: Query Formatting

If you're looking at agent blogs already, maybe you could make changes according to that agent's specifications and send out different versions. For example, some like an intro "I am looking for an agent for my first novel" etc. and others say that's a waste of words (they already know you're lookin...
by Erica75
March 19th, 2010, 5:56 pm
Forum: Procrastination
Topic: March Madness!!!
Replies: 125
Views: 35610

Re: March Madness!!!

My strategy was to assign each team 1 point if I've ever heard of them, an extra point if they're from the Midwest, and take them all the way if they're in Wisconsin. It wasn't as great of a strategy as it sounded at first ;) Worked for me with Ohio, not so much for Marquette. Plus, I somehow messed...
by Erica75
March 15th, 2010, 6:37 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: THE LAST DRAGON (fantasy)
Replies: 12
Views: 2288

Re: QUERY: THE LAST DRAGON (fantasy)

Quick point - if the dragon is essential to the plot (as indicated by its presence in the query), shouldn't it have a sex? Using "it" seems cumbersome in the least. And remember to leave us hooked - can you really summarize a 100,000 word novel in so short of a paragraph? There must be something you...
by Erica75
March 14th, 2010, 8:39 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Pseudopath Query (SF)
Replies: 7
Views: 1689

Re: Pseudopath Query (SF)

mmcdonald has some good points. I actually understood your query better after reading hers (um, his? I'm not sure)! You have the fodder, but your version is a bit short. On Nathan's blog, he has query stats that show the best ones fall in the 250-350 word length - don't give away everything, but you...
by Erica75
March 13th, 2010, 8:21 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Critique - Overcast Shadows - First Try
Replies: 27
Views: 4968

Re: Query Critique - Overcast Shadows - First Try

I'm so sorry that I'm not posting anything constructive yet, but I have a story that relates. I'm a teacher and a few years ago, a parent said this to me at orientation: "I have to leave now. My daughter's dad and his wife are here and they don't know I'm back in town." I looked it up and her daught...
by Erica75
March 13th, 2010, 12:52 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Does your genre make it difficult to find an agent?
Replies: 20
Views: 6738

Re: Does your genre make it difficult to find an agent?

I find it funny (depressing funny, not silly funny) to read that people think it's difficult to break into YA with a paranormal since they're so prevelant. I thought it was hard to break in with a YA romance because everything is paranormal these days. I'm hoping to send my YA romance query within t...
by Erica75
March 13th, 2010, 12:44 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Suburban Fantasy Query
Replies: 12
Views: 2135

Re: Suburban Fantasy Query

Okay, you're getting there and I see what you're doing with your changes. When I read the first one, I thought "My nine-year-old (who reads ahead of grade level) will love this" and am glad you changed the definition to MG. When I read the second one, I thought "MG readers don't use words like estat...
by Erica75
March 13th, 2010, 12:34 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: A NEW DAY query (Contemp. YA)
Replies: 9
Views: 2047

Re: A NEW DAY query (Contemp. YA)

Revised query. Better? Worse? It's shorter, but maybe more "hooking" and less confusing? BTW, I've received quite a few questions on different forums asking if I have a scientific background. No, but I'm a really good researcher of other people's reports (and that isn't anything I want to put in a q...
by Erica75
March 10th, 2010, 6:13 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: A NEW DAY query (Contemp. YA)
Replies: 9
Views: 2047

Re: A NEW DAY query (Contemp. YA)

Jessica - thanks! I wasn't ignoring you, I was just offline for a couple of days. I've changed quite a few things based on lots of feedback and this was a slightly bandaged-together version of my original that I was never in love with. Your criticism tells me what I need to do - put back in some of ...
by Erica75
March 7th, 2010, 10:05 pm
Forum: Books
Topic: TWILIGHT - thoughts?
Replies: 107
Views: 29516

Re: TWILIGHT - thoughts?

I can't sort through all the posts on this thread. I'm only a quarter into my second novel with the first in query stage and I WILL NOT procrastinate that way (I hope)!!! All I have to say is STOP THE MADNESS!! Twilight did awesome - kudos to Stephenie Meyer. We should all do so well. Saying you're ...
by Erica75
March 7th, 2010, 10:42 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: A NEW DAY query (Contemp. YA)
Replies: 9
Views: 2047

Re: A NEW DAY query (Contemp. YA)

Paul - Good questions. Hopefully an agent would think the same thing and request a partial, which would answer most of them. Kniki - I've messed with the sequel sentence and decided to leave it in for feedback - thanks! Also, you aren't the only one who didn't like the "illegally altered methods" se...