Search found 173 matches

by GeeGee55
September 22nd, 2010, 5:30 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY - SPIRIT HILL
Replies: 9
Views: 1316

QUERY - SPIRIT HILL

Well, no luck with the other versions of the query, so here's a new version: Dear Agent Person: When his eleven-month old son dies on a hot spring day in 1938, Gus Kelman ignores his grief and goes to work chopping wood. His wife, Rebecca, remains in bed, unable to eat or speak. As the weeks pass, G...
by GeeGee55
September 2nd, 2010, 10:29 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
Replies: 23
Views: 3026

Re: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –

REVISION 7 Thanks to everyone for the awesome feedback. This would be impossible without other eyes. Writing a query is always tough, though it is a lot more fun in this genre than literary fiction. First a note to D.S. Deshaw - You are absolutely right!!! No one wants to read about defenseless you...
by GeeGee55
September 1st, 2010, 6:41 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: REVISION 7 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –
Replies: 23
Views: 3026

Re: REVISION 6 – Cameron Kincaid and The Perfect Treasure –

Hi, Daniel: I dont' read in this genre, so my comments may or may not be helpful REVISION 6 a little slicker Dear Ms. Agent, Recipe for Clandestine War 2 secret societies 1 arcane treasure 2 defenseless young - cut, too much holy women 1 Celebrity Chef w/ military experience Mix the- cut secret soc...
by GeeGee55
August 30th, 2010, 11:36 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Forgive me 2nd try Need criticism on a Reno Wedding
Replies: 3
Views: 767

Re: Forgive me 2nd try Need criticism on a Reno Wedding

Sorry for the post yesterday, I copied the wrong draft and posted the unedited copy, so I deleted it. I hope I did not wound too many eyes. (I couldn't bear to look at the count.) I have enough trouble getting it right after the seventh try. Anyway... My novel takes place in 1976. It is about a 17 ...
by GeeGee55
August 27th, 2010, 5:32 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 8/27/10
Replies: 27
Views: 20085

Re: Page Critique Friday 8/27/10

And Nathan was posting at the same time as I was. Thanks to Nathan for keeping this page critique in the forums for those of us who are interested.
by GeeGee55
August 27th, 2010, 5:25 pm
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Page Critique Friday 8/27/10
Replies: 27
Views: 20085

Re: Page Critique Friday 8/27/10

Cudo's to Porthmeor Beach for submitting your query and cudos to all those who made the effort to comment. It's also brave to comment. Sometimes, after I do and then read other's comments, I think, I was so out to lunch on that one. Anyway for what it's worth: TITLE: 'APOSTLE' GENRE: CRIME WORDCOUN...
by GeeGee55
August 25th, 2010, 5:15 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: December--Your Help Needed!
Replies: 9
Views: 1225

Re: Query: December--Your Help Needed!

I think this second version is much, much better. It flows well now. I think with just a bit of tweaking you might send it out to a few agents and see what sort of response you get. Just a few things to think about: Thanks so much for your help! It looks like I have a second problem--not wanting to...
by GeeGee55
August 23rd, 2010, 9:56 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: December--Your Help Needed!
Replies: 9
Views: 1225

Re: Query: December--Your Help Needed!

Hi all--thanks for taking a look! My main problem is that my novel is multi-storyline, multi-POV, and I want that to come across without overwhelming the poor soul reading my query. My biggest problem is that all the characters mentioned below get equal playing time--there is no one main protagonis...
by GeeGee55
August 8th, 2010, 5:25 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Favorite quotes about writing
Replies: 62
Views: 8436

Re: Favorite quotes about writing

Writing is no trouble; you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult.
-Stephen Leacock.
by GeeGee55
August 5th, 2010, 9:39 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Chasing Light in Sorbonne (Revised Introduction/Chapter 1)
Replies: 5
Views: 1185

Re: Chasing Light in Sorbonne (Revised Introduction/Chapter 1)

I really like the title. It might just be my personal preference, but I think it would be better not to start with a description of the room. Hello writers and readers. I would like to know your thoughts about this brand new introduction to my book. Two things I'd like to know at least. 1) Is it cl...
by GeeGee55
August 5th, 2010, 9:02 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: SENTENCE STRUCTURE
Replies: 9
Views: 1226

SENTENCE STRUCTURE

How much time do you spend thinking about sentence structure when you're writing? I confess I spend a lot. I can spend an hour considering the right words and form for one sentence. Here's a favorite sentence of mine from a short story "From Beautiful People" by Kenneth Hunt. I love it because it is...
by GeeGee55
July 24th, 2010, 4:01 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Alone With Everyone - Literary query
Replies: 10
Views: 1353

Re: Alone With Everyone - Literary query

I didn't read the previous versions, so these are my impressions from reading this one over Thanks for the responses, both of you! HillaryJ: The religion she is in is the German Baptists, an obscure Christian sect that isn't very well known outside of the midwest, or even Indiana really. I original...
by GeeGee55
July 24th, 2010, 3:19 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Canucks
Replies: 16
Views: 2337

Re: Canucks

I live in southwest Saskatchewan. It's interesting to me how the landscape we live with shapes our writing, whether it be the dry rolling hills (usually) where I am or the cement city where others live. I grew up in the northern part of the province and to this day I still long for the sight and sme...
by GeeGee55
July 20th, 2010, 1:18 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Help Critiquing Dialogue
Replies: 8
Views: 1951

Re: Help Critiquing Dialogue

To me, the dialogue might benefit from being a bit more relaxed. Real people speak in phrases, especially when they're in the relaxed kind of situation you have created here. I don't really know how to give advice about dialogue except to just listen to the characters talking in your head. Let them...
by GeeGee55
July 19th, 2010, 9:59 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: TOUR BUS TO MEXICO, 1982 - short story excerpt
Replies: 7
Views: 1503

Re: TOUR BUS TO MEXICO, 1982 - short story excerpt

Thanks very much Sea, William M Jones and Evelyn Erlich. Your comments are all helpful and I appreciate the time you put into helping me make a better story.