Search found 173 matches

by GeeGee55
March 27th, 2010, 11:53 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Sample Page, extra eyes needed
Replies: 32
Views: 6474

Re: Sample Page, extra eyes needed

Don't worry about what other people want to hear, worry about what you have to say, it's the one and only thing you have to offer - paraphrasing Barbara Kingsolver. It seems to me that your heart really was not in that third piece you posted and it shows. So consider very carefully the criticisms th...
by GeeGee55
March 26th, 2010, 11:17 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Natural Selection, Part Two: NOW CLOSED
Replies: 10
Views: 2593

Re: Query: Natural Selection (Mystery) Part Two

You have something really interesting here, but it's not quite clear. I'm liking the first version better, I wish I could say why. Sample One: Natural Selection is a 100,000-word mystery that follows Dragan Sakic, an ER physician with a troubled past. When he agrees to have a child with his girlfri...
by GeeGee55
March 25th, 2010, 9:42 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query- Isabella Vampirella (EVIL EDITOR response at end)
Replies: 36
Views: 7371

Re: Query- Isabella Vampirella

I love the title - Isabella Vampirella. I know nothing about queries for kids books, so these are just comments on the sentences/word choice/flow. Hello all, I admit I've been mostly a lurker so I'm throwing myself at your mercy to critique my query. Thanks in advance! Dear Agent, Eight-year-old Is...
by GeeGee55
March 25th, 2010, 9:15 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Critique - The Potter's Daughter - Revision 5
Replies: 26
Views: 4321

Re: Query Critique - The Potter's Daughter - Revision 5

Yay, Danielsmi! Hope they love your story.
by GeeGee55
March 23rd, 2010, 11:58 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: docx files
Replies: 13
Views: 2208

Re: docx files

Here's something to try. My son has a Mac and I have a PC. He created a file, that, of course, my computer would not read. This is how we got around it. He copy/pasted the text into an e-mail and sent it to me. Then I copy/pasted the text into a Word document and saved it on the Desktop. It worked f...
by GeeGee55
March 23rd, 2010, 5:01 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: The importance (and difficulty) of gestures
Replies: 55
Views: 31523

Re: The importance (and difficulty) of gestures

I am always writing with my character's emotional state in the forefront of my mind. I think that's key to getting gesture right, and it may not occur in the first draft. I have a character who wears a hat and he takes it off in the presence of women, that says something about his character without ...
by GeeGee55
March 23rd, 2010, 1:30 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query critique: Ether, paranormal romance--revised
Replies: 11
Views: 2813

Re: Query critique: Ether, paranormal romance

Well, let me have a stare. These are just my impressions, as goes for all critiques, do what feels right to you. I can't stare at this any longer. Thanks in advance for any and all feedback! Dear Agent, In the aftermath of the horrific - someone told me, if it's horrible never say it's horrible, I ...
by GeeGee55
March 23rd, 2010, 12:59 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Sample Page, extra eyes needed
Replies: 32
Views: 6474

Re: Sample Page, extra eyes needed

Serzen: I once had a mentor tell me about a story I was working on: it is alive, it is alive, and that is everything. When I read this I was reminded of that comment. This is most definitely alive and interesting. I agree with the suggestions Lachy made, from a craft point of view it improves the se...
by GeeGee55
March 21st, 2010, 4:10 pm
Forum: Books
Topic: Favorite Lines from Novels
Replies: 30
Views: 7347

Re: Favorite Lines from Novels

"Everything you need can be taken from you. Remember this, nieces. Everything you hold dear, it can be taken from you." Joseph Boyden, Through Black Spruce "It's a good old world, but there's some hard things in it." Larry McMurtry, Lonesome Dove "The public shall ever be at war with the private." M...
by GeeGee55
March 21st, 2010, 3:33 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Critique Group Question
Replies: 17
Views: 3475

Re: Critique Group Question

I guess I've been lucky without fully appreciating it.
by GeeGee55
March 21st, 2010, 3:08 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Critique - Overcast Shadows - First Try
Replies: 27
Views: 5222

Re: Query Critique - Overcast Shadows - First Try

Thanks so much for your tips all of you... I took the week or so to place the query in my drawer and revise and start from scratch. So here is what I got. Take a cain saw and rip it up! The story is clearer in this version, but still needs a little work Dear Agent, Vitiosus is the prince of the Las...
by GeeGee55
March 21st, 2010, 2:42 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: rewrite now added-Key in the Shadow- wrk title-
Replies: 9
Views: 2449

Re: rewrite now added-Key in the Shadow- wrk title-

Everyone works differently, but if you're only on chapter eight of the first draft, I'd advise you to keep getting the story on the page. You can go back and fix later, keep that story rolling along. Meanwhile, study some books on craft, Janet Burroway has a good one, and apply what you learn as you...
by GeeGee55
March 21st, 2010, 2:11 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Critique Group Question
Replies: 17
Views: 3475

Re: Critique Group Question

Polymath: I knew from some of your previous posts how intelligent and well-informed you are (and yes I am speaking directly to the writer and not to the writing!). I believe there is not enough kindness in the world, so I appreciated your post very much. It's always a judgement call about what to of...
by GeeGee55
March 17th, 2010, 5:26 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query WARRIOR-MONKS
Replies: 13
Views: 2921

Re: Query WARRIOR-MONKS

Hi, Matthew: I'm no Polymath, but I hope you find my suggestions helpful, if not, well, maybe I'll learn something by doing it. Okay I've decided to throw mine up here. I probably have not posted enough replies/advice attempting to help others to deserve all of your time and feedback but I'm going ...
by GeeGee55
March 16th, 2010, 12:20 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: rewrite now added-Key in the Shadow- wrk title-
Replies: 9
Views: 2449

Re: Key in the Shadow - wrk title- feedback please.

I'm not sure where you're at with this, how many drafts you've done,etc. So don't know exactly what you want. My first reaction is that the character's voice is quite strong, may need a bit more work, but it seems you know this young woman. And, it is interesting enough to keep me reading. Please be...