Search found 31 matches

by jordynface
February 20th, 2010, 9:16 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: anyone else having synopsis issues?
Replies: 9
Views: 1958

Re: anyone else having synopsis issues?

For me, writing a synopsis is absolutely the most difficult thing to write. However, I've written a few, and my suggestions are: 1. Know the characters you need to include, and don't include any that aren't necessary. (Especially for a short, 2-page synopsis.) 2. Have an outline of the "major" event...
by jordynface
February 20th, 2010, 9:12 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: What credits are worth mentioning?
Replies: 3
Views: 844

Re: What credits are worth mentioning?

I don't know much about the fantasy genre, even less about video games, but your writing credits sound very relevant and, assuming they're from reputable companies, I'd mention them for sure.
by jordynface
February 20th, 2010, 6:55 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for 'Hard Rock'- Commercial Fiction
Replies: 11
Views: 2827

Re: Query for 'Hard Rock'- Commercial Fiction

Not a line-by-line, simply some thoughts & suggestions for you to take (or not): 1. "he does drink half his weight in whiskey each day" OBVIOUSLY this is hyperbole, but for some reason it strikes me as a bit over-the-top, almost like you want it to be taken literally since you say "each day." Though...
by jordynface
February 20th, 2010, 6:47 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: Rejection Stats
Replies: 227
Views: 108270

Re: Rejection Stats

Nick wrote:
christi wrote: no response: 28
Just curious, but how long ago did you send out those 28? Personally if they're fairly recent I would count them as "No response (yet):". If they've been sitting for a while...
How recent would you say is recent enough to count queries as "no response YET"?
by jordynface
February 20th, 2010, 6:45 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Help: Contemporary YA - Sitting on Rooftops
Replies: 11
Views: 2544

Re: Query Help: Contemporary YA - Sitting on Rooftops

Thanks, guys! Here's my next try... looking forward to your suggestions. --------------------- Dear Agent, When Grayson was thirteen, her aunt and uncle died, leaving a deep, empty hole in their family. Before, Grayson and her cousins, Willa and Ainsley, were like sisters. After, they were torn from...
by jordynface
February 20th, 2010, 5:36 pm
Forum: Finding An Agent
Topic: A couple of questions re: YA & queries
Replies: 4
Views: 1423

A couple of questions re: YA & queries

I'd like to get some opinions on a couple things that have been pointed out to me regarding my query. 1. My book is YA. Do I need to mention the age of the MC in my query letter? Even if I can't fit it in naturally and ends up sounding clunky? 2. Does it matter if my MC has the same name as an MC fr...
by jordynface
February 20th, 2010, 1:25 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Help: Contemporary YA - Sitting on Rooftops
Replies: 11
Views: 2544

Re: Query Help: Contemporary YA - Sitting on Rooftops

Don't have time right now to look closely at the writing, but one thing I would suggest is working Grayson's age in somewhere. You state at the end that this is YA but there is no indication of any of the characters' ages in the query. Also, I had an English teacher in high school rap my knuckles e...
by jordynface
February 20th, 2010, 1:27 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: SPIRIT HILL - Revision #3
Replies: 37
Views: 7047

Re: QUERY: SPIRIT HILL - Literary

Some thoughts and suggestions. 1. "A baby…dead and buried. A marriage…silent and shattered. That’s the concept behind my completed novel, SPIRIT HILL, which contains 65,000 words." I think you could probably delete all of this and insert the title/word count later in the query. It starts off stronge...
by jordynface
February 20th, 2010, 1:18 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Help: Contemporary YA - Sitting on Rooftops
Replies: 11
Views: 2544

Re: Query Help: Contemporary YA - Sitting on Rooftops

Thanks, Lunetta! I've revamped the query and hopefully it works a bit better now... took some of your suggestions, left some out. (I really liked the ending of my query, lol, just changed it a little.) Anyone got critiques/suggestions for me? ---------------------------- Dear Agent, Grayson wants th...
by jordynface
February 19th, 2010, 11:25 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query (Writer's Block YA Fantasy)
Replies: 10
Views: 2098

Re: Query (Writer's Block)

Well, I maybe wouldn't go into a TON of detail on how he can become real, but mentioning it would go a long way towards clearing things up. Leave some intrigue, but if an agent can't understand your plot I doubt they'd ask for a partial or full. :)
by jordynface
February 19th, 2010, 11:02 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query (Writer's Block YA Fantasy)
Replies: 10
Views: 2098

Re: Query (Writer's Block)

Some thoughts/suggestions. 1. Looove the premise. Reminds me a bit of The Great Good Thing actually, though that is an MG fairy tale. 2. I got a little confused with the Reality bits... wasn't sure if Reality actually equaled reality where us real people live, or if since it was capslocked it was so...
by jordynface
February 19th, 2010, 10:43 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Aussie needs international feedback
Replies: 28
Views: 5653

Re: Query: Aussie needs international feedback

Some thoughts/suggestions. 1. Cut the first paragraph. 2. Look at how vague your query is -- choose one or two main characters to focus on (Ella and Grant, I'm guessing) and focus on their character development & journeys. Your query seems to be very abstract; it needs to be more concrete. Use speci...
by jordynface
February 19th, 2010, 10:35 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: *Revised* Query: THE DREAM PLAYER-Middle Grade
Replies: 5
Views: 1300

Re: *Revised* Query: THE DREAM PLAYER-Middle Grade

I think the revised version is spot-on, only thing I would suggest is making sure it's clear that this first book can be a stand-alone even though you mention a potential series. I've heard it said that you don't want to query with a "series idea," and I don't think you do that here but I'd be extra...
by jordynface
February 19th, 2010, 10:26 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Help: Contemporary YA - Sitting on Rooftops
Replies: 11
Views: 2544

Query Help: Contemporary YA - Sitting on Rooftops

EDIT: A revised query is now post #9 in this thread. Please look at that one instead. :) Quick note: I've sent about 30 queries out using this letter, but I've gotten tons of rejection and since I'm thinking of sending a few more queries I want to make sure my pitch is up to par. Any suggestions & ...
by jordynface
February 19th, 2010, 10:19 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Help: "It Can't Be You"
Replies: 6
Views: 1425

Re: Query Help: "It Can't Be You"

I won't do a line-by-line crit, but here are some thoughts/things for you to look at. 1. You started with a rhetorical question. 2. "Some have a huge need to avenge insults, perceived or otherwise and take revenge, even if it is against one’s loved ones." This line seems too general and not specific...