Nathan Bransford - The Forums

wow back to the drawing board then. thanks for the help. i thinnk this is a good starting point and with you critique it can only get better!

thanks

Hannah

This does sound really interesting and dark. I don't know whether this is a difference in British/American submissions, but when I have read submission guidelines they have said to talk about the complete story, is the ending a cliff-hanger or have you not told the entire story in your synopses? Han...

Hi there! I'm 17 so perhaps fall into your target audience... I really like this opening, though it confused me at first, the way you have the test there but of course once this was in a book, there wouldn't be that confusion. I was instantly interested. You introduce a world I can't imagine, a one ...

I think this is really good! I read on a website that a good thing to add is why you wrote the book. You could add your inspiration, favourite writers, where your ideas come from. The only thing I feel this query is missing is a bit about yourself, perhaps adding a final paragraph about this would p...

Hello everyone! This is my first draft of my query letter. Any constructive critiscm is welcome... Dear ____________ RE : I wish to submit my YA adventure novel, THE TIME, complete at 117,000 words, for your consideration. What would happen if the government was secretly using time travel to try and...

Yeah I see what your saying, I know with me that I concentrate in the moment and make lists of stuff I have to go back to, whether to amend or add in.
I think it is that thing of if your ideas have come over all of a sudden you have to get it written down and then re-draft.

:-)

I loved the first chapter of In teh Shadow of the Dragon King and thought your review of my first section was fantastic, so would you like to exchange more chapters? I know I'm young, but since I'm your target age group I might be able to help and I would love to have more advice on my own work if y...

Yeah I no what you mean, like if I introduce a character and then think, he would have been mentioned before now. I'm totally nervous about a whole re-write...I think at least a partial re-write will be necessary as many aspects of my character has changed, but if its necessary it'll have to wait un...

Do you find it best to wait until you are completely finished your first draft before starting the re draft or do you in moments of lesser inspiration for the current parts of your story start to re-draft previous chapters?
Just wondered :-)

Hannah

Just to say, I want to read this book!!!! I know this isn't exactly helpful, but just to let you know, I'm 17, love books like The Luxe, Gossip Girl, Blue Bloods and this sounds fabulous, I would love to read it! I hope you get published! Seriously got excited reading the query and I know this isn't...

Ok, so see what you think of this, though its now even longer!! lol Also, after I've finished the last couple of chapters, depending on word count, I think I'm going to add in another chapter before this one where Teri is in the night club before she is kidnapped to explain a little more about why s...

Thanks for the critique emily :-) the spellings aren't really important as yes I'm british so its different and the shook thing has been pointed out, my spell checker on word has taken to automatically putting this in. As to the sentence structure, I'll take a look and see if I can improve. Thanks H...

thanks Jen :-) I will take a look at your blog and the stuff about Wills is what is most getting me excited to have a look at so I am going straight to that section now to see how I can improve. And of course I wouldn't take offense, you gave me a balanced and helpful review, if you had just said ev...

I agree that this isn't YA, if it were you would need to up the word count. Also, you might want to re-consider the name as there is already quite a well known book called The Princess and the Captain about a kidnapped princess who falls for a pirate, its written by ann-laure bondoux and is a YA nov...

Hi slavandria!! Thank-you so much for such a lovely and in-depth reply! I have made a lot of notes on what to improve on and this is going to give me a wonderful base for re-drafting my work. I wanted to ask your opinion of a few ideas/points... I felt slighted in this story because I really don't h...