Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Aw, crap. Thanks! -goes to fix-

“All men are bastards” says Shefali Belliappa to close my completed 81,000 word psychological thriller “IT CAN’T BE YOU” Most agents don't want dialog from your book, they want a short, engaging synopsis of what it's about, so I second that this can go. Her father, a highly decorated war hero, a Lt...

I think you probably know way more about it than I, I've never dabbled in any sort of nonfiction. Personally, I like your query (other than the notes that have already been voiced). I checked another blog, BookEnds, specifically this link: http://bookendslitagency.blogspot.com/2009/01/what-is-book-p...

I'm not an expert on non-fiction queries either, but Justine got all the things I was planning on saying. Sorry I can't be of no further help. However, I'm thinking for nonfiction, it isn't a query exactly, but a proposal, right? Here is a link to something Nathan blogged about concerning nonfiction...

This is much better. The only thing I stumbled on was "heartbreak with doggy-do"...why on earth would anyone be heartbroken about doggy-do? I'm assuming you meant ti to come across as something else. And seeing as no one else mentioned it, maybe I'm just a little nutty, but it didn't work ...

Thanks everyone!

Dear Prospective Agent, Jenni Kershaw is an ordinary eighth grader stuck in an ordinary life and she’s extraordinarily tired of it! If you lead with an exclamation here, an agent might think you have a lot of them in your ms, which is sort of frowned upon. Apparently, there's some rule that like, 3...

I would love to hear your feedback! Thank you so much for your time. **** Naughty Gnomes is a finished, contemporary romantic comedy of 80,000 words, set in a large rural town in Australia. Beginning in a bush, and spending an unusual length of time in a morgue, this first person narrative tumbles ...

OK, here is a new version with the voice changed (um, I think? hahaha) in the vision scene: *** The guy who’d been following me was nowhere in sight. Don’t get me wrong, having any kind of guy—let alone a Greek one—follow me around added bonus points to my constantly dipping scale of self-confidence...

Thank you guys for offering up suggestions! The voice with the visions was an intentional thing. I think differently subconsciously than I do consciously, if that makes any sense. But should I use a better transition, i.e. "A mirage of visions side-lined me." Or something like that? Hm, I ...

Alright, I'm one of those obsessive thinkers, and after a few rejections, I want to make sure it isn't the writing but other mysterious variables that go into an agent making a decision. I've already went in and changed things up, just because I'm compulsive. I welcome all feedback and will do my be...

Take what I say with a grain of salt, I'm no expert! I have withheld comment from the other critiques because I have yet to get a request for even a partial. Out of 25 queries I have received 12 rejections. I have been following the Blog and comments for almost a year and think it is time I look fo...

Thanks to everyone who helped! :)

Thank you everyone for your suggestions! OK, so I've only done some tweaking with words based on what was said. Does it flow better? I have some explanations afterwards. Jessa Whitley knows she’s got no business being the next Hercules. Sure, she’s obsessed with everything Greek, but she’s never th...

Hello all! Trying to get this thing as good as possible, so any thoughts or suggestions are welcome. Thanks in advance! Jessa Whitley knows she’s got no business being the next Hercules. Sure, she’s obsessed with everything Greek, but she’s never thrown a punch, and her asthma turns even the shortes...