Search found 17 matches

by CC13
February 18th, 2010, 10:44 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First 2 pages - YA
Replies: 15
Views: 3010

Re: First 2 pages - YA

Aw, crap. Thanks! -goes to fix-
by CC13
February 17th, 2010, 1:15 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Help: "It Can't Be You"
Replies: 6
Views: 1107

Re: Query Help: "It Can't Be You"

“All men are bastards” says Shefali Belliappa to close my completed 81,000 word psychological thriller “IT CAN’T BE YOU” Most agents don't want dialog from your book, they want a short, engaging synopsis of what it's about, so I second that this can go. Her father, a highly decorated war hero, a Lt...
by CC13
February 17th, 2010, 1:09 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: SHADOW ON THE HILL
Replies: 9
Views: 1869

Re: Query: SHADOW ON THE HILL

I think you probably know way more about it than I, I've never dabbled in any sort of nonfiction. Personally, I like your query (other than the notes that have already been voiced). I checked another blog, BookEnds, specifically this link: http://bookendslitagency.blogspot.com/2009/01/what-is-book-p...
by CC13
February 17th, 2010, 12:32 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: SHADOW ON THE HILL
Replies: 9
Views: 1869

Re: Query: SHADOW ON THE HILL

I'm not an expert on non-fiction queries either, but Justine got all the things I was planning on saying. Sorry I can't be of no further help. However, I'm thinking for nonfiction, it isn't a query exactly, but a proposal, right? Here is a link to something Nathan blogged about concerning nonfiction...
by CC13
February 17th, 2010, 11:57 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Naughty Gnomes Query Letter - Romantic Comedy
Replies: 7
Views: 1231

Re: Naughty Gnomes Query Letter - Romantic Comedy

This is much better. The only thing I stumbled on was "heartbreak with doggy-do"...why on earth would anyone be heartbroken about doggy-do? I'm assuming you meant ti to come across as something else. And seeing as no one else mentioned it, maybe I'm just a little nutty, but it didn't work for me. Ev...
by CC13
February 17th, 2010, 11:54 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First 2 pages - YA
Replies: 15
Views: 3010

Re: First 2 pages - YA

Thanks everyone!
by CC13
February 16th, 2010, 10:28 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: QUERY: A Measure of Disorder (YA Fantasy) REVISED AGAIN = )
Replies: 19
Views: 3040

Re: QUERY: A Measure of Disorder (MG/YA Fantasy)

Dear Prospective Agent, Jenni Kershaw is an ordinary eighth grader stuck in an ordinary life and she’s extraordinarily tired of it! If you lead with an exclamation here, an agent might think you have a lot of them in your ms, which is sort of frowned upon. Apparently, there's some rule that like, 3...
by CC13
February 16th, 2010, 10:22 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Naughty Gnomes Query Letter - Romantic Comedy
Replies: 7
Views: 1231

Re: Naughty Gnomes Query Letter - Romantic Comedy

I would love to hear your feedback! Thank you so much for your time. **** Naughty Gnomes is a finished, contemporary romantic comedy of 80,000 words, set in a large rural town in Australia. Beginning in a bush, and spending an unusual length of time in a morgue, this first person narrative tumbles ...
by CC13
February 16th, 2010, 9:57 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First 2 pages - YA
Replies: 15
Views: 3010

Re: First 2 pages - YA

OK, here is a new version with the voice changed (um, I think? hahaha) in the vision scene: *** The guy who’d been following me was nowhere in sight. Don’t get me wrong, having any kind of guy—let alone a Greek one—follow me around added bonus points to my constantly dipping scale of self-confidence...
by CC13
February 16th, 2010, 8:45 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First 2 pages - YA
Replies: 15
Views: 3010

Re: First 2 pages - YA

Thank you guys for offering up suggestions! The voice with the visions was an intentional thing. I think differently subconsciously than I do consciously, if that makes any sense. But should I use a better transition, i.e. "A mirage of visions side-lined me." Or something like that? Hm, I may try a ...
by CC13
February 16th, 2010, 4:13 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First 2 pages - YA
Replies: 15
Views: 3010

First 2 pages - YA

Alright, I'm one of those obsessive thinkers, and after a few rejections, I want to make sure it isn't the writing but other mysterious variables that go into an agent making a decision. I've already went in and changed things up, just because I'm compulsive. I welcome all feedback and will do my be...
by CC13
February 16th, 2010, 4:03 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Critique - The Potter's Daughter - Revision 5
Replies: 26
Views: 3132

Re: Query Critique - The Potter's Daughter

Take what I say with a grain of salt, I'm no expert! I have withheld comment from the other critiques because I have yet to get a request for even a partial. Out of 25 queries I have received 12 rejections. I have been following the Blog and comments for almost a year and think it is time I look fo...
by CC13
February 15th, 2010, 5:27 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Mythic
Replies: 7
Views: 1236

Re: Query: Mythic

Thanks to everyone who helped! :)
by CC13
February 14th, 2010, 4:40 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Mythic
Replies: 7
Views: 1236

Re: Query: Mythic

Thank you everyone for your suggestions! OK, so I've only done some tweaking with words based on what was said. Does it flow better? I have some explanations afterwards. Jessa Whitley knows she’s got no business being the next Hercules. Sure, she’s obsessed with everything Greek, but she’s never th...
by CC13
February 14th, 2010, 7:51 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Mythic
Replies: 7
Views: 1236

Query: Mythic

Hello all! Trying to get this thing as good as possible, so any thoughts or suggestions are welcome. Thanks in advance! Jessa Whitley knows she’s got no business being the next Hercules. Sure, she’s obsessed with everything Greek, but she’s never thrown a punch, and her asthma turns even the shortes...