Nathan Bransford - The Forums

I think it sounds interesting. I'm not a gamer by any means, but I like the romance aspect. Is Ale's magic actually real, or does she just think it is, or is it real only the game? I think if it's real, it could be fantasy. I'm not sure of contempary fantasy. I like the idea, but I'm not sure about ...

Thank you for your thought Geegee! I think I am just panicking because I plan to submit soon!

So I see! Provo's better. ;)

Sorry I probaby wasn't clear. I meant I didn't want to drop Anne's age becuase I didn't want a 16 year old girl dating a man who is old enough to have his own apartment. Currently Anne is 18 and a high school graduate living with roommates. Nicholas is 20. They're all college students. :) (Well, Nic...

Thank you very much for your insight Vic! I can definitely work on that part. It felt wrong to me too, and I am glad that you pointed it out! Amazing how that works isn't it? I plan to market this as Young Adult...rather, I like to think of it as Young Adult fantasy, but I am not entirely sure. The ...

Those are good! And great inspiration for my book! ;)

I haven't sent anything out yet. I was told my first book wasn't good enough, so I didn't even try. This time I am determined even if I hear that again. I need my stack of rejection slips!

But self indulgent messes are so much fun... ;)

Thank you for the suggestion GeeGee! You're very good at reworking! I have a question, and I think I may be over thinking things, but... The story takes place in a small town in Utah. I've been debating if I should change it to a place in Idaho or Colorado because it doesn't have anything to do with...

I had to delete four thousand words today becasue I forgot the rules of my own world. ha! Darling hard to part with: “We’re clear.” The man whistled sharply. “Can I trust you not to scream this time?” Anne nodded, and he removed his arm. “You shouldn’t tell someone not to scream, then tell them you ...

Don't overdo it. Include smells, yes, and include colors, but there are some problems with being too exact and lavish in your descriptions of anything. One, you descend into purple prose. Two, you get in your reader's way. When you say your character walks into the kitchen and smells garlic, your r...

Can I ask... at what point did you feel comfortable that your grammar, punctuation, ability to avoid the seven deadly sins of writing, style, etc, were now at MS submitting level? I find it hard to make the judgement call for myself. I have had people reading my work since I was 15 and telling me h...

My qualifications to write are summed up in three words: I am awesome.

Seriously though, I think unless you are writing non fiction, you don't need qualifications. I've been writing novels since I was 15. The first stories were terrible. I've improved since then. ;)

It sounds like a pretty solid query to me too. I like the idea as well. I thought it sounded like a ghost story too!

Good luck with this!

I think that you need to focus on the main character. Who is driving the story? Is it Don, David, or William? It sounds to me like it is probably mainstream or literary fiction. I don't think it is necessary to mention that this is your first novel.

Good luck with this!