Search found 79 matches

by EvelynEhrlich
October 8th, 2010, 6:09 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: How much outlining is too much outlining?
Replies: 9
Views: 1512

Re: How much outlining is too much outlining?

Hey xouba, I think it just depends on what you need as a writer. I know it's not a hard-and-fast rule like you might have been looking for, but each person has their own style. Some people need to think things through ahead of time, and some people want to make it up on the fly. I'm an outliner. I w...
by EvelynEhrlich
September 22nd, 2010, 12:26 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Dear Lucky Agent Contest
Replies: 0
Views: 548

Dear Lucky Agent Contest

Hey all, For anyone who's writing paranormal romance or urban fantasy, there's a new Dear Lucky Agent contest mentioned on today's Guide to Literary Agents: http://www.guidetoliteraryagents.com/blog/ You submit the first 150 -200 words, and if you win, you get a critique of the first 10 pages of you...
by EvelynEhrlich
August 14th, 2010, 10:49 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: YA Flash Fiction
Replies: 7
Views: 1308

Re: YA Flash Fiction

Thanks, maybegenius! Hope all's well -- it was fun to hang out at SCBWI-LA.
by EvelynEhrlich
August 9th, 2010, 11:25 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: REVISED Synopsis - Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)
Replies: 22
Views: 4684

Re: REVISED Synopsis - Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)

Thanks, Giles. I'll definitely work on upping the tension in that paragraph.
by EvelynEhrlich
August 5th, 2010, 4:33 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: YA Flash Fiction
Replies: 7
Views: 1308

Re: YA Flash Fiction

LeAnne, Thanks for the feedback. You're right about the "Maybe he'll be stupid" line. I'll change it to something else, like "Maybe he'll be boring," so that the MC doesn't become unlikeable. My memory of my JSA days is a bit hazy, so I don't remember how our advisors acted. I seem to recall having ...
by EvelynEhrlich
August 5th, 2010, 4:28 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: REVISED Synopsis - Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)
Replies: 22
Views: 4684

Re: REVISED Synopsis - Timeless (YA Paranormal Romance)

Thanks Penang and sarahdee! These are helpful comments. To answer sarahdee's Q about the Victorian dress - yes, 19th century Russian aristocracy were very European, esp. the nobility that lived in St. Petersburg. In fact, they spoke French as their primary language and tried to emulate their Europea...
by EvelynEhrlich
August 4th, 2010, 2:38 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: YA Flash Fiction
Replies: 7
Views: 1308

YA Flash Fiction

Hi all, Here's a short YA piece (891 words) I wrote, since my critique partner currently has my WIP. This is my first attempt at flash fiction. Any comments are appreciated. Thanks! ----------------- I didn't want to sit next to him. Anywhere, anywhere but there. But I didn't have a choice. There we...
by EvelynEhrlich
July 28th, 2010, 1:06 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Feedback question for Nathan and others
Replies: 5
Views: 972

Re: Feedback question for Nathan and others

Have you read Donald Maass' Writing the Breakout Novel ? He discusses what he calls the "novice grabber scene," which opens with big action (perhaps like the "hook" you refer to). The problem is the reader doesn't know the character yet, so there is little sympathy for MC. Instead, he recommends tha...
by EvelynEhrlich
July 24th, 2010, 12:48 am
Forum: Procrastination
Topic: A forum game: three word story
Replies: 83
Views: 9928

Re: A forum game: three word story

Once upon a horse Sonja feared the darkness across the river might be too deep. Sighing, she turned and found a block of cheese made of Venusian so she picked up a sword to pierce into the looming thicket. "No!" said the block of cheese! "Don't go there!" But the cheese did not know how to talk let ...
by EvelynEhrlich
July 20th, 2010, 4:44 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Rapid Aging in YA?!
Replies: 7
Views: 1272

Re: Rapid Aging in YA?!

The vampires in Twilight were all 100+ years old and just happened to occupy bodies that looked 17. If that worked, then I think you could definitely make it work the other way around, where the MC is ACTUALLY a teenager (and not a centenarian!) :)
by EvelynEhrlich
July 20th, 2010, 4:39 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Prologue to TIMELESS (YA Paranormal Romance)
Replies: 10
Views: 1689

Re: Prologue to TIMELESS (YA Paranormal Romance)

Thanks, EmilyJ! I appreciate the compliments and your suggestions. I think you'd like the next chapter, where the girl MC stumbles upon her side of the time portal, which has an old Russian proverb etched into it. :)
by EvelynEhrlich
July 19th, 2010, 4:49 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: PANDEMIC - YA Urban Fantasy
Replies: 15
Views: 2379

Re: PANDEMIC - YA Urban Fantasy

Hi Sarra, I think there are good ideas here, but they need to be organized more coherently. I understand you know the book so well that it's sometimes hard to see where your thoughts jump and might not make sense to another reader. Some comments below, hope they don't come across as too harsh and ar...
by EvelynEhrlich
July 19th, 2010, 4:22 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Help Critiquing Dialogue
Replies: 8
Views: 1873

Re: Help Critiquing Dialogue

I'll just comment on the dialogue, since that's what you want to focus on. I think you're on the right track, but some of the dialogue seems a bit stilted, like it's not how the characters would talk in real life. Try reading it aloud to yourself while skipping the dialogue tags and descriptions. I'...
by EvelynEhrlich
July 19th, 2010, 1:43 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: I'm A Nobody, YA Fantasy, First Page
Replies: 7
Views: 1484

Re: I'm A Nobody, YA Fantasy, First Page

WilliamMJones, Intriguing beginning. Good pace, good tension. I agree with GeeGee55 that I could use a little more description of the school, although I understand that it's near midnight and dark, so maybe MC can't see much (although it's presumably his school, so he'd know what it looks like anywa...
by EvelynEhrlich
July 19th, 2010, 1:19 am
Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Replies: 720
Views: 271457

Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog

Title: Timeless Genre: YA Romance Word Count: 246 PROLOGUE - May 25th, 1856. St. Petersburg, Russia. LEO Nothing good could come of burying my parents. Or so I thought. My thirteen-year old sister, Anna, clung to my arm. The black lace of her glove was already soaked, whether by tears or by the shee...