Search found 7 matches
- February 13th, 2010, 10:08 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - Wanted: Chosen One, Now Hiring (Fantasy) [REVISED]
- Replies: 6
- Views: 3349
Re: Query - Wanted: Chosen One, Now Hiring (Fantasy)
sorry, I didn't mean to offend you at all. I couldn't type your name without scrolling back and forth several times to get the spelling right. I wasn't trying to say your query is not intresting, I was trying to say...it doesn't matter if it's the most riveting material in the world, you're loosing ...
- February 12th, 2010, 11:51 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: YA Fiction Query: No *good* title yet.
- Replies: 3
- Views: 2062
YA Fiction Query: No *good* title yet.
I've been working on this for days and it's giving me a headache and wrinkles. :) Feel free to rip it to shreds! Sixteen year old Lily would rather goof off with her best friend Riley, while the rest of the girl world just seems interested in getting his attention. She doesn’t need a tan and lying o...
- February 12th, 2010, 11:43 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - Please Help
- Replies: 8
- Views: 4055
Re: Query - Please Help
Much better than your first one!! That being said, you're still telling me a lot of things that you should be showing me. What does Nina want most of all? Is it Sebastian or is it something bigger than that? Is the main conflict just the meddling church lady (those can be quite bothersome) or is som...
- February 12th, 2010, 11:39 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query Letter: You Dear, Sweet Man
- Replies: 4
- Views: 2020
Re: Query Letter: You Dear, Sweet Man
I started doing a line by line and then got overwhelmed with the plot. I'm not even sure who your MC is?? Is it Charles or Megan/Samanatha? What does he/she's want most of all? What do they have to do to get it? What is at stake for them? You are telling me a lot in this but you aren't showing me wh...
- February 12th, 2010, 11:32 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: Too Enchanted *getting closer*
- Replies: 19
- Views: 8016
Re: Query: Too Enchanted
try using your first query (which answers those very important questions) but expanding it into five sentances. One for set up, three for conflict and one for ending. Or you know, around about that number of sentances. :) I like this idea...but out of both queries the thing that inrests me the most ...
- February 12th, 2010, 11:28 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - Wanted: Chosen One, Now Hiring (Fantasy) [REVISED]
- Replies: 6
- Views: 3349
Re: Query - Wanted: Chosen One, Now Hiring (Fantasy)
This is, IMO, to long and the first line makes my eyes glaze over immediately. I honestly can't even get past bbasbabsbaASSDS without wanting to click the backspace. What might help you pare this down is to cover what your MC really wants, what is preventing him from getting it and what he stands to...
- February 12th, 2010, 11:24 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3855
Re: Query up for critique
you need to show us what Betty wants, what is preventing her from getting and it, what is at stake if she doesn't manage to get it... Right now you're dropping a lot of loose ends into our laps....florist? right to life? missing uncle? red headed legion? None of those are connecting. I'm assuming th...