Search found 22 matches

by BAL
November 4th, 2014, 10:53 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query YA- The Last
Replies: 5
Views: 3799

Query YA- The Last

Dear Agent, I am submitting for your consideration THE LAST, a 74,000 word YA sci-fi that will appeal to fans of X-Men and steampunk. To Rynn, locks are more of an invitation then an obstacle. She’s a pyrokinetic telepath, and one of eleven surviving Afflicted, a hidden group of human beings with su...
by BAL
January 31st, 2011, 12:00 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query -IRON HEART-
Replies: 24
Views: 3635

Re: Query -IRON HEART-

Latest Update: I've sent out the previous letter and haven't gotten any replies so I'm rewriting. Any comments would be greatly appreciated. Dear Agent, Magic and Machine exist side by side in Garn and it is Terik’s dream to become a mechanic’s assistant. As a toad with the ability to control hot a...
by BAL
October 18th, 2010, 12:36 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query -IRON HEART-
Replies: 24
Views: 3635

Re: Query -IRON HEART-

I've made the minor adjustments suggested. I'm going to start sending it out this week and see what I get. I'll keep everyone posted on how it goes.
Thank you to everyone who helped me with this. :)
by BAL
October 11th, 2010, 11:26 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query -IRON HEART-
Replies: 24
Views: 3635

Re: Query -IRON HEART-

*Newest Version* Thank you everyone for all of your great advice. I think I'm almost there.(and hopefully I didn't just jinx myself by saying that) Dear Agent, Terik is a toad living in the kingdom of Garn where magic and machines exist side by side. But Terik’s life is turned upside down when he i...
by BAL
October 11th, 2010, 11:17 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Queen of Heaven - YA Fantasy Query
Replies: 15
Views: 2504

Re: Queen of Heaven - YA Fantasy Query

~ Thirteen year old Jin wants to conquer the world. She just needs an army. - This is fantastic, great hook. Jin was banished from her homeland after she discovered that her father was murdered by his most trusted adviser. She then traveled north to seek aid, hoping to convince the emperor to take ...
by BAL
October 8th, 2010, 11:03 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query -IRON HEART-
Replies: 24
Views: 3635

Re: Query -IRON HEART-

*Latest Version* Not sure what you could replace it with, but "life is turned upside down" is sort of a cliche. [/quote] I kind of agree but I'm not sure what I could replace it with. Anyone have a good idea? Dear Agent, Terik is a toad living in the kingdom of Garn where magic and machines exist s...
by BAL
October 7th, 2010, 11:20 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query -IRON HEART-
Replies: 24
Views: 3635

Re: Query -IRON HEART-

*Updated* *Sorry about not posting correctly, I wasn’t sure on the best way to do it but now I know. *Thank you so much to everyone who commented. And a special thanks to Down the Well. *To answer a few questions. (these are just explanations, please don’t think I’m being rude or ungrateful, becaus...
by BAL
October 4th, 2010, 6:07 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query -IRON HEART-
Replies: 24
Views: 3635

Query -IRON HEART-

*Newest Version at the bottom* -Thanks to everyone who has commented. You all have been very helpful. Dear Agent, Terik is a toad living in the kingdom of Garn where magic and machine live side by side. But Terik’s life is turned upside down when he is cursed against his will by a crazy witch with ...
by BAL
April 26th, 2010, 12:39 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: dirge of the desert - new attempt, new slant
Replies: 50
Views: 7436

Re: dirge of the desert - new attempt, new slant

Wow, this sounds like a great story. Your second query is great, it made sense and explained the story very well. I wish I could give you good advice, but i'm very new at this. So I'll just give you a big round of applause and say good job and keep it up.
by BAL
April 26th, 2010, 11:16 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query letter for Too Enchanted; fantasy (here we go again)
Replies: 10
Views: 1932

Re: Query letter for Too Enchanted *second times a charm*

I AM BACK WITH MORE CHANGES TO MY QUERY. ANY THOUGHTS OR ADVICE WOULD BE VERY WELCOME. Like any self-respecting magic toad all Tirian wanted was to live a quiet life in the forest kingdom of Garn. All Rynn wanted was to complete her latest job and get paid. But not everyone gets what they want. Tir...
by BAL
April 1st, 2010, 11:57 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query letter for Too Enchanted; fantasy (here we go again)
Replies: 10
Views: 1932

Re: Query letter for Too Enchanted *second times a charm*

I wrote in awhile ago with my first query letter and got some great feedback. Now I'm asking for it again, I've changed my book a lot and have adjusted my query letter to match. Please review and give helpful comments. Thank You. Dear Agent, Tirian always expected his life to be quite quiet and pea...
by BAL
March 31st, 2010, 5:29 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query letter for Too Enchanted; fantasy (here we go again)
Replies: 10
Views: 1932

Query letter for Too Enchanted; fantasy (here we go again)

*SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE TO READ LATEST QUERY* Dear Agent, Rynn’s job as a hero for hire often has her in dangerous and difficult situations, but when her latest job to rescue a kidnapped human girl goes seriously wrong, she’s left with two options, take on a job for the forest elders of G...
by BAL
March 1st, 2010, 10:41 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Too Enchanted *getting closer*
Replies: 19
Views: 3539

Re: Query: Too Enchanted *Final draft of query letter?*

Hey thanks everyone for your wonderful advice, I've made changes accordingly and have sent my query out to a few agents. Keep your fingers crossed for me. You guys have been so great and so helpful. Dear Agent, Tirian is an enchanted toad with magical powers living in the forest kingdom of Garn, ho...
by BAL
February 26th, 2010, 11:03 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Too Enchanted *getting closer*
Replies: 19
Views: 3539

Re: Query: Too Enchanted *Final draft of query letter?*

I just need a final validation on my query letter. Did I get it right. Please let me know what you think.
by BAL
February 23rd, 2010, 11:22 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Too Enchanted *getting closer*
Replies: 19
Views: 3539

Re: Query: Too Enchanted

Wow, thank you to Lunetta22, Jessicatudor, and CoachMT for your comments, your advice has been so great. Enjoy my revision. Dear Agent, Tirian is an enchanted toad with magical powers living in the forest kingdom of Garn, home of the Enchanted Ones. But when a vengeful enchantress turns Tirian into...