Search found 81 matches

by theWallflower
December 4th, 2014, 10:01 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Defender: Return of the Harkers
Replies: 2
Views: 1990

Re: Defender: Return of the Harkers

This one was partially written by someone kind enough to offer a different take. This one's more straight. Personally, I think it's more boring, has less voice, but it gets across the information. I am seeking representation for my YA secondary world fantasy novel, DEFENDER: RETURN OF THE HARKERS. ...
by theWallflower
November 18th, 2014, 4:39 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Defender: Return of the Harkers
Replies: 2
Views: 1990

Defender: Return of the Harkers

Trying something with a little more voice here on this go-round. I am seeking literary representation and hope you will consider my fantasy novel, DEFENDER: RETURN OF THE HARKERS. Before school even starts, Caden is caught with a knife he's not allowed to have. Not because it's a weapon. The academ...
by theWallflower
November 18th, 2014, 4:17 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Just to get your opinion...
Replies: 1
Views: 1822

Re: Just to get your opinion...

First it’s just the window, creaking open every night. Then came the whispers that only he could hear. There's a tense change here. It's okay to do a gimmicky query like this, but only when the following questions are answered: who is the protagonist, what world does he/she live in, what problem do...
by theWallflower
November 18th, 2014, 4:09 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Shades of Darkness Revised at post #4
Replies: 4
Views: 2203

Re: Query: Shades of Darkness

Carla Dubrov has spent most of her life imprisoned or on the run. Why? What did she do? Start with that. she learns, through a vision, that Jason D’Cartey will give his life to save hers Who is Jason? Is she psychic? What does giving life to save hers mean? Under what circumstances? What danger is ...
by theWallflower
November 18th, 2014, 12:24 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query YA- The Last
Replies: 5
Views: 3517

Re: Query YA- The Last

...will appeal to fans of X-Men and steampunk. I'm not sure if I'd put this at the beginning of the query. Let the agent decide for him/herself whether this fits into the category you think it does. Might be better to mention comp titles. To Rynn, locks are more of an invitation then an obstacle. S...
by theWallflower
August 15th, 2012, 5:04 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Merm-8 (sci-fi/fantasy)
Replies: 5
Views: 2597

Re: Merm-8 (sci-fi/fantasy)

New version baded on feedback. I am REALLY having a hard time with that last paragraph. At that point, we are midway through the novel and I am trying real hard not to spoil anything while at the same time, staying intriguing, while at the same same time, keeping under word count. Mermaids do not e...
by theWallflower
August 9th, 2012, 5:09 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised-YA Fantasy THE LEGEND OF TAIRN GIRE
Replies: 10
Views: 3299

Re: Query: THE LEGEND OF TAIRN GIRE: A PROPHESY REVISITED

100 years of peace between Ordinals (ordinary mortals) and Otherkin races ends on day 101… -This sentence isn't working for me. Not really sure why... maybe because it's the "tagline"y-ness of it. It doesn't grab my attention right away because I'm more interested in the character off the back, and...
by theWallflower
August 9th, 2012, 2:54 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Merm-8 (sci-fi/fantasy)
Replies: 5
Views: 2597

Merm-8 (sci-fi/fantasy)

Dear [AGENT], Mermaids do not exist. No one knows that better than Gene, who's scrounging out a living on the flooded future Earth with salvage and smuggling jobs. He's traveled everywhere with his AI companion, Stitch, and never seen anything more majestic than a barnacled whale. So how and why did...
by theWallflower
August 9th, 2012, 12:38 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Rain on Your Wedding Day (Commercial Fiction)
Replies: 11
Views: 2443

Re: Query: Rain on Your Wedding Day (Commercial Fiction)

Glad to see you're utilizing Query Shark. Will Morse is a recluse who is consumed with grief and regret over the death of his daughter, Trixie. On the day after Christmas, Dorothy Crawford knocks on the door of his remote mountain cabin. Will develops a romantic friendship with Dorothy, and finds th...
by theWallflower
May 4th, 2012, 5:29 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Commercial Novel
Replies: 6
Views: 3263

Re: Query: Commercial Novel

Aayush has not turned eighteen and is considered a major failure. For not cracking the IIT-JEE, for his abominable scores in class 12th, for not living upto his family legacy. -I'm not familiar with the term "cracking" -- are you trying to say he failed the IIT-JEE? "Cracking" implies he hacked int...
by theWallflower
May 4th, 2012, 5:10 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: SPURNED - children's fantasy novel
Replies: 14
Views: 3369

Re: SPURNED - children's fantasy novel

When a peculiar couple moves into the derelict house across the street, Mona Black, the only kid resident of the Dullest Place in the Universe, is certain they have something to hide. What she discovers is something not only out of this world, but in a whole other world entirely. -I'm curious about...
by theWallflower
January 20th, 2012, 12:39 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Beginnings and Ends
Replies: 6
Views: 1308

Re: Query: Beginnings and Ends

Melanie Brookford, a ninteen year old girl who recently found herself without a home or family, lives out of her car and works in the warehouse at a local paper company. At least, that was the case until she crashed her car into a flooded drainage ditch one winter night, costing her both her vehicl...
by theWallflower
January 19th, 2012, 3:55 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Horror Query HONOR: A ZOMBIE TALE
Replies: 12
Views: 2147

Re: Horror Query HONOR: A ZOMBIE TALE

Two years ago, Honor’s best friend sent her an e-mail warning of a suspected outbreak. He then promptly disappeared. -How old is Honor? -I think you need to define who these people are, because if they're CDC doctors, this is not unusual. But if they're college students, this seems strange to do. T...
by theWallflower
January 19th, 2012, 3:26 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query
Replies: 12
Views: 2146

Re: Query for Blood Red Turns Dollar Green

There is another Mob that never gets spoken about. Their network spans the US where they quietly make millions through an elaborate con. A staged, pompous, painful and murderous kind of con. Their story has never been talked about - until now. -Mob is not capitalized -US should be U.S. -Mob is sing...
by theWallflower
January 19th, 2012, 3:13 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Suspense Query- The Verge
Replies: 8
Views: 2014

Re: Suspense Query- The Verge

I'm looking for a home for my first novel. The Verge, a suspense complete at 86,000 words, centers around a long-buried secret that destroys the lives of two women, leading to a harrowing journey in a quest for redemption. -Writing a query is a lot like writing a resume or cover letter. You must st...