Search found 16 matches
- August 25th, 2010, 12:30 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Prologue to Romantic Comedy Adventure
- Replies: 19
- Views: 7574
Re: Prologue to Romantic Comedy Adventure
Hi Nick B Just found this thread I'm a big Evanovich reader but that's it. I have to admit, I'm pretty narrow in my tastes and I definitely lean towards light and fluffy. However, if Evanovich is kind of feel you're going for, I might be able to help. My first thought is: Do you have a blurb? Becaus...
- July 27th, 2010, 10:45 pm
- Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Replies: 720
- Views: 451900
Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Title: Naughty Gnomes Genre: Romantic Comedy Word Count: 247 When a plate shatters, it makes a loud crashing noise, but when a heart breaks, there is only silence. Oh, and sometimes there’s piteous wailing, hysterical sobbing, and a series of embarrassing phone messages left on your ex’s answering m...
- July 23rd, 2010, 3:21 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Naughty Gnomes - Romantic Comedy - Polished for Querying
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4845
Re: Naughty Gnomes - Romantic Comedy - Polished for Querying
Hi Everyone. I decided to send the first three chapters directly instead of posting it all here, so if anyone else was hoping to read more, please let me know. Thanks
- July 14th, 2010, 10:09 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Naughty Gnomes - Romantic Comedy - Polished for Querying
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4845
Re: Naughty Gnomes - Romantic Comedy - Polished for Querying
Hey thanks NickB - that was definitely helpful thank you. And welcome to offering your two-cents :) Send me a direct message when you post something and I'll be sure to check it out. I know there aren't heaps of romance readers hanging out in these parts, probably because NB isn't really a romance l...
- July 12th, 2010, 1:43 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: TOUR BUS TO MEXICO, 1982 - short story excerpt
- Replies: 7
- Views: 3297
Re: TOUR BUS TO MEXICO - short story
Hi. I think you've got some really good descriptions and details here, that make me picture what is happening (always a good thing!) and some of them show an interesting and unique voice too. For example 'clumsy bus', 'shy smile on the face of a plain girl', 'occasionally turning the new gold ring o...
- July 9th, 2010, 11:09 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Naughty Gnomes - Romantic Comedy - Polished for Querying
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4845
Re: Naughty Gnomes - Romantic Comedy - Polished for Querying
Thanks J.T. Shea and Wilderness for taking the time and effort to read and write it. It is just so nice to have some feedback from people who write and read on a regular basis :) It's interesting how everyone reads each sentence differently, like the double flashback. I've been reluctant to put it i...
- July 9th, 2010, 9:58 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Naughty Gnomes - Romantic Comedy - Polished for Querying
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4845
Re: Naughty Gnomes - Romantic Comedy - Polished for Querying
Hi Deja Thanks for the feedback. I would most definitely love to hear the rest of your thoughts as well if you can spare the time! I have edited my post to explain that this is the beginning of the novel, but still only about a third into the first chapter (if you want to read more, just say the wor...
- July 9th, 2010, 1:05 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Naughty Gnomes - Romantic Comedy - Polished for Querying
- Replies: 12
- Views: 4845
Naughty Gnomes - Romantic Comedy - Polished for Querying
Hi everyone. I am getting very close to sending off my novel to a few literary agents, so this is supposed to be a final, polished piece. Please critique accordingly. I'm interested in everything from proofing to general thoughts and specific issues. Thank you! Just to clarify any confusion - this i...
- July 9th, 2010, 12:57 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Dream Walker-Chapter One
- Replies: 7
- Views: 3793
Re: Dream Walker-Chapter One
I agree that Kendra seems quite realistic, which is definitely a good thing! And I am left wondering both why she is like she is, and how she is going to deal with it. I also wonder why Maria is hanging around, though if this is left unexplained too long, I might find it unbelievable. Aside from wor...
- June 25th, 2010, 5:45 am
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Something's wrong... Help please. [new version]
- Replies: 10
- Views: 4374
Re: Something's wrong... I can't find it. Help please.
Hi Blanche I'd be interested in seeing the query letter you're sending. Are you getting requests for fulls after the query letter, or do they request the first 3 chapters and then fulls? Because it seems like if they're asking for the first three chapters first, and still requesting fulls, we're pro...
- February 16th, 2010, 10:53 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Naughty Gnomes Query Letter - Romantic Comedy
- Replies: 7
- Views: 3010
Re: Naughty Gnomes Query Letter - Romantic Comedy
Thanks Lunette22 and CC13 Is this better then? (I wasn't entirely sure what you meant be 'lead with the synopsis') Updated Query Letter Josie Stephenson is not just accident prone - she is stalked by disaster. Which is why she works in a morgue, where she can’t really hurt anyone. Yet her misfortune...
Re: QUERY: THE LAST DRAGON (YA-Fantasy)
LATEST QUERY DRAFT _________________ Most girls dream of becoming a princess, but seventeen-year-old Nadine is not most girls. When King Joseph announces at the annual Embers Ball that she has been chosen to marry his son Kellan, the ruthless and arrogant Prince of Embero, she does the one thing on...
- February 16th, 2010, 9:15 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Naughty Gnomes Query Letter - Romantic Comedy
- Replies: 7
- Views: 3010
Naughty Gnomes Query Letter - Romantic Comedy
I would love to hear your feedback! Thank you so much for your time. **** Naughty Gnomes is a finished, contemporary romantic comedy of 80,000 words, set in a large rural town in Australia. Beginning in a bush, and spending an unusual length of time in a morgue, this first person narrative tumbles a...
- February 16th, 2010, 9:08 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: First 2 pages - YA
- Replies: 15
- Views: 7269
Re: First 2 pages - YA
I think it's a great start. The voice in the first few paragraphs is highly appealing. I agree with a lot of what has been said though - I'd cut the first sentence, take out some of the details where she's in a hurry - like others I start skim reading there, and I would definitely leave the vision i...
- February 12th, 2010, 10:33 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query-- Scatter (Lit. Fic)
- Replies: 27
- Views: 10607
Re: Query-- Scatter (Lit. Fic)
I think your original is better too, and chances are you are just over-fretting it. I will start by saying this is not a genre I would generally read, but I'll have a go. Also, I don't know all the details here, like physical descriptions etc, so I'm making them up, just to give you the picture The ...