Search found 10 matches
- February 15th, 2010, 9:24 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3871
Re: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique
Changes made.
- February 14th, 2010, 11:37 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3871
Re: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique
Many thanks Yoshima!
- February 13th, 2010, 9:26 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3871
Re: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique
Thanks snlemon! That's very helpful.
- February 12th, 2010, 11:41 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: First few paragraphs of my YA Fantasy...
- Replies: 12
- Views: 5621
Re: First few paragraphs of my YA Fantasy...
Yes! Your second version drew me in way more. I'd definitely read on if I picked the #2 book up.
- February 12th, 2010, 8:50 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: First few paragraphs of my YA Fantasy...
- Replies: 12
- Views: 5621
Re: First few paragraphs of my YA Fantasy...
My humble thoughts are that it might start off better when your protagonist is actually going to kill this extra strong person. To me this feels like I walked into a room in the middle of someone's conversation. It takes a minute to catch up. It isn't bad, but if you want to start with a bang...
- February 12th, 2010, 8:42 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3871
Re: Query up for critique
Thanks you so much for helping. :)
- February 12th, 2010, 8:41 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query Critique--Aurumenas REVISED (again)
- Replies: 18
- Views: 7668
Re: Query Critique--Aurumenas REVISED
I haven't read the other posts, so excuse me if I repeat anything. Fifteen out of the seventeen years of Nathadria’s life have been spent in imprisonment, leaving her body a skeletal waste. Years of solitary confinement in an interstellar ship have convinced her that her life is meaningless and wit...
- February 12th, 2010, 8:32 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: Through Fire and Ice (NEW VERSION!)
- Replies: 14
- Views: 6658
Re: Query: Through Fire and Ice (REVISED)
I'm certainly no expert on query writing, but here are my humble thoughts: I like your premise and you've managed to interest me with this query, but I agree with the previous post about Jana falling in love with a man unwilling to catch her. The way you've worded it here is a bit awkward. I also th...
- February 12th, 2010, 2:55 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3871
Revised Turning Red Query up for critique
Hey all! I deleted the old query, so the only one here is the revised version. I need all the help I can get. Dear Agent: Rights-to-life activist Betty B. sees herself as the soil that lies unnoticed beneath the beauty of flowers. Her hair is the color of compost. Her eyes are the color of mud. Her ...
- February 12th, 2010, 2:45 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Thriller Query (Genre, that is). Open to Suggestions!
- Replies: 18
- Views: 7911
Re: Thriller Query (Genre, that is). Open to Suggestions!
This is awesome! You should be able to find an agent with this, I think.