Search found 10 matches

by WriterKitty
February 15th, 2010, 9:24 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique
Replies: 8
Views: 1579

Re: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique

Changes made.
by WriterKitty
February 14th, 2010, 11:37 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique
Replies: 8
Views: 1579

Re: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique

Many thanks Yoshima!
by WriterKitty
February 13th, 2010, 9:26 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique
Replies: 8
Views: 1579

Re: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique

Thanks snlemon! That's very helpful.
by WriterKitty
February 12th, 2010, 11:41 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First few paragraphs of my YA Fantasy...
Replies: 12
Views: 2682

Re: First few paragraphs of my YA Fantasy...

Yes! Your second version drew me in way more. I'd definitely read on if I picked the #2 book up.
by WriterKitty
February 12th, 2010, 8:50 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First few paragraphs of my YA Fantasy...
Replies: 12
Views: 2682

Re: First few paragraphs of my YA Fantasy...

My humble thoughts are that it might start off better when your protagonist is actually going to kill this extra strong person. To me this feels like I walked into a room in the middle of someone's conversation. It takes a minute to catch up. It isn't bad, but if you want to start with a bang...
by WriterKitty
February 12th, 2010, 8:42 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique
Replies: 8
Views: 1579

Re: Query up for critique

Thanks you so much for helping. :)
by WriterKitty
February 12th, 2010, 8:41 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query Critique--Aurumenas REVISED (again)
Replies: 18
Views: 3141

Re: Query Critique--Aurumenas REVISED

I haven't read the other posts, so excuse me if I repeat anything. Fifteen out of the seventeen years of Nathadria’s life have been spent in imprisonment, leaving her body a skeletal waste. Years of solitary confinement in an interstellar ship have convinced her that her life is meaningless and wit...
by WriterKitty
February 12th, 2010, 8:32 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Through Fire and Ice (NEW VERSION!)
Replies: 14
Views: 3005

Re: Query: Through Fire and Ice (REVISED)

I'm certainly no expert on query writing, but here are my humble thoughts: I like your premise and you've managed to interest me with this query, but I agree with the previous post about Jana falling in love with a man unwilling to catch her. The way you've worded it here is a bit awkward. I also th...
by WriterKitty
February 12th, 2010, 2:55 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Turning Red Query up for critique
Replies: 8
Views: 1579

Revised Turning Red Query up for critique

Hey all! I deleted the old query, so the only one here is the revised version. I need all the help I can get. Dear Agent: Rights-to-life activist Betty B. sees herself as the soil that lies unnoticed beneath the beauty of flowers. Her hair is the color of compost. Her eyes are the color of mud. Her ...
by WriterKitty
February 12th, 2010, 2:45 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Thriller Query (Genre, that is). Open to Suggestions!
Replies: 18
Views: 3324

Re: Thriller Query (Genre, that is). Open to Suggestions!

This is awesome! You should be able to find an agent with this, I think.