Search found 12 matches

by TiffanyNeal
February 14th, 2010, 10:32 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Ready to be done with this! Query for VISIONS (YA)
Replies: 22
Views: 9620

Re: And revised again: Query for VISIONS (YA)

I felt like I lost the heart of my novel in the last query letter, so I rewrote it and got this. What do you think? Dear Rock Star Agent, I read on your website that you’re looking for “young adult fiction with a strong female lead.” Because of this, I believe you’d be interested in my young adult ...
by TiffanyNeal
February 14th, 2010, 12:08 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Opening page of my YA Steampunk novel
Replies: 15
Views: 7709

Re: Opening page of my YA Steampunk novel

Something's throwing me here. I absolutely love the voice and description and think that you write beautifully. It might be that it starts of with first person POV and then turns into 3rd...I don't know. Maybe it's the "you" that is getting to me, because the person narrating is talking t...
by TiffanyNeal
February 13th, 2010, 8:01 pm
Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
Topic: Looking for a beta(s)
Replies: 1
Views: 2478

Re: Looking for a beta(s)

Hey! I just finished my MS and I'm working on my query here: http://forums.nathanbransford.com/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=833 If it sounds interesting, I am definitely looking for a beta. My email is tiffanyaneal@yahoo.com and my blog is http://tiffanyneal.blogspot.com I'm about to go grab something t...
by TiffanyNeal
February 13th, 2010, 5:57 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Ready to be done with this! Query for VISIONS (YA)
Replies: 22
Views: 9620

Re: And revised again: Query for VISIONS (YA)

Since I'm my own worst critic, here's a newer version...Any suggestions, gladly accepted! Dear Rock Star Agent, I read on your website that you’re looking for “young adult fiction with a strong female lead.” {Insert personalization here} Seeing into the future has its perks. Knowing someone’s about...
by TiffanyNeal
February 13th, 2010, 4:35 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Ready to be done with this! Query for VISIONS (YA)
Replies: 22
Views: 9620

Re: Revised Query- please help- VISIONS (YA)

And, let's try again... Dear Rockstar Agent, I read on your website that you’re looking for “young adult fiction with a strong female lead.” {Insert personalization here} Seeing into the future is not all it's cracked up to be, especially when seventeen-year-old Channing Russo gets a glimpse of a g...
by TiffanyNeal
February 12th, 2010, 6:05 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Ready to be done with this! Query for VISIONS (YA)
Replies: 22
Views: 9620

Re: VISIONS (YA)

Newest Revised Query Okay, ten millionth time is a charm...LOL! I took out back story and tried to focus on the main point...Tell me what you think... Dear ______, I read on your website that you’re looking for “young adult fiction with ______.” Because of this, I believe you’d be interested in my ...
by TiffanyNeal
February 12th, 2010, 4:24 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Ready to be done with this! Query for VISIONS (YA)
Replies: 22
Views: 9620

Re: VISIONS (YA)

Don't you hate it when you think things are going good with the query and then it all turns to crap at you have to start from scratch again???? Okay, so here's a new try. I'm only posting the tagline and the next sentence. I want to see if it's worth continuing, before plugging away at it just to sc...
by TiffanyNeal
February 12th, 2010, 12:49 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Ready to be done with this! Query for VISIONS (YA)
Replies: 22
Views: 9620

Re: VISIONS (YA)

With suggestions...let's try this... :) Chrisi, I'll go check yours out. And it's funny about the schizophrenic thing, b/c that is exactly how I feel. Dear ______, I read on your website that you’re looking for “young adult fiction with ______.” Because of this, I believe you’d be interested in my ...
by TiffanyNeal
February 12th, 2010, 12:25 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Ready to be done with this! Query for VISIONS (YA)
Replies: 22
Views: 9620

Re: VISIONS (YA)

This query thing is killing me!! Not really, but you know. Okay, so let me just give you guys a run down and I can see if you can help me make things more clear. First of all, she gets visions through touching people. The reason her visions are unwanted now is because she saw the car accident that k...
by TiffanyNeal
February 12th, 2010, 11:17 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Ready to be done with this! Query for VISIONS (YA)
Replies: 22
Views: 9620

Re: VISIONS (YA)

Okay...Thanks for the help! I totally agree on the first name/last name deal. I meant to put that in there, but didn't catch it before I posted it. How's this: Dear ______, I read on your website that you’re looking for “young adult fiction with ______.” Because of this, I believe you’d be intereste...
by TiffanyNeal
February 12th, 2010, 1:28 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - Please Help
Replies: 8
Views: 4078

Re: Query - Please Help

I am fairly new to writing the query letter, but I got some great advice for the first line of your query letter, aka - the tag line. That sentence should include the protaganist, the choice, and the consequence. The very last sentence should give the reader a very good idea of what the book is abou...
by TiffanyNeal
February 12th, 2010, 12:44 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Ready to be done with this! Query for VISIONS (YA)
Replies: 22
Views: 9620

Ready to be done with this! Query for VISIONS (YA)

Newerest version is on p. 2 Dear Mr. Agent, A grieving seventeen-year-old must use her unwanted ability to see into the future, track down, and stop the serial killer who is terrorizing Princeton, NJ. Dealing with the aftermath of the unpreventable accident that claimed the lives of her brother and...