NS, Let me know if you are still looking for a partner.
My in progress second novel is also a thriller with a romantic twist.
Search found 13 matches
- August 31st, 2010, 8:46 pm
- Forum: Connect With a Critique Partner
- Topic: Critique partner wanted
- Replies: 3
- Views: 2631
- June 9th, 2010, 8:04 pm
- Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Replies: 720
- Views: 451874
Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Title: Black Diamonds Genre: Women’s Literary Fiction (237 words) They had just finished eating an uncomfortable brunch on a Sunday afternoon at Samie’s Deli in West Hollywood. “You young people!” Sofie’s father said, pointing his finger at Jamie. “You think life is a joke. What do you have to show ...
- March 12th, 2010, 7:08 pm
- Forum: Excerpts
- Topic: Does this opening hook you? *Jelly Beans for replies!
- Replies: 24
- Views: 8398
Re: Does this opening hook you? *Jelly Beans for replies!
Vitiosus calmed his breathing as he was escorted out into the centre of the village square by a few guards dressed in midnight black armor. He had to look cool, unemotional. The mail that protected his chest clattered slightly as he walked and he felt his father’s glare burned into his back. He had ...
- March 12th, 2010, 6:55 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: A BROKEN MIRROR -- new query
- Replies: 15
- Views: 5693
Re: A BROKEN MIRROR -- new query
It was one of those days , one of those days where not a single expectation could be met. That was what started it all. An argument with Jamie escalated into all of this. first, not a good idea to repeat yourself. second, I'm not hooked. What does "all of this" mean? The first paragraph te...
- March 12th, 2010, 6:48 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query - "Tribal New Begining"
- Replies: 6
- Views: 3110
Re: Query - "Tribal New Begining"
Back from a six month trip, Terra, a world traveling cross-cultural journalist living in Vermont, receives a letter to spend the winter collecting stories at a Native American village in Arizona, she cannot refuse. Terra thinks this simple assignment will be appreciated by her editors and funders. T...
- March 12th, 2010, 6:40 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: QUERY: SPIRIT HILL - Revision #3
- Replies: 37
- Views: 13088
Re: QUERY: SPIRIT HILL - Revision #3
Consider opening your query with a strong hook. The way you have it now, the sentences are cumbersome. I don't think we need to know everything right of the bat. The following is my suggestion: Gus immerses himself in his daily chores. The one thing he can't allow himself to think about is his son's...
- March 5th, 2010, 6:54 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Share your opening sentence!
- Replies: 236
- Views: 86194
Re: Share your opening sentence!
Sure, why not? "Hailey stood motionless in a dark, humid place, having no clue where she was or how she got there: Hailey was simply just there." Oh yeah, it also plays into my ongoing theme of the novel's flow mimicking the stages of life. i suggest you cut out "Haily was simply jus...
- March 5th, 2010, 6:50 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Share your opening sentence!
- Replies: 236
- Views: 86194
Re: Share your opening sentence!
Yea! First post. Anyway, I'm kind of hating it right now, but here it is. "At the end of a very short lane sits a very large house with far too many windows and hardly any doors. " Shorten the sentence. i suggest you cut out the "very" and the "far" and what does "...
- March 5th, 2010, 6:48 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Share your opening sentence!
- Replies: 236
- Views: 86194
Re: Share your opening sentence!
Short and to the point. Has a lot of promise.Eric wrote:I wanted a beer.
- March 5th, 2010, 6:46 pm
- Forum: Writing
- Topic: Share your opening sentence!
- Replies: 236
- Views: 86194
Re: Share your opening sentence!
Okay, so this first sentence is from book #1: Sofie. Sofie’s parents. (hmmmm...it does get better. I promise.) ...And this is from book @2: The night before Lizzie had to be at the warehouse in Newark, New Jersey at seven o’clock sharp to pick up a load of expensive wine bound for Las Vegas, she beg...
- March 5th, 2010, 6:39 pm
- Forum: Social Media and Book Promotion
- Topic: Do you have a new blog post?
- Replies: 2655
- Views: 818747
Re: Do you have a new blog post?
Blogs intimidate me. What if I say something wrong? What if I make a mistake...a stupid one? Surely everyone will laugh at me. I just know it. I think on my blog I have a total of four and I've had the blog forever. Nothing smart to say. I should write about nats (sp?)...they're all around me in a h...
- February 11th, 2010, 7:27 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: QUERY: The Land of Imagining
- Replies: 8
- Views: 3973
Re: QUERY: The Land of Imagining
Dear [insert agent's name]: I am seeking representation for my 80,000 word fantasy young adult novel, THE LAND OF IMAGINING. Good first line. You have the word count, genre, and title. Simple and to the point. Alexia thinks she’s just an ordinary girl with a lofty goal – to become a best-selling nov...
- February 11th, 2010, 6:51 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: rip my first query to shreads!!
- Replies: 6
- Views: 2964
Re: rip my first query to shreads!!
Dear Agent, After playing a part in a planned robbery that had gone insanely wrong, seventeen year old Lydia ran off to a small city in British Columbia, where she hoped to heal her painful wounds, and forgive herself for what she had done. Finding residents in an old medicine man’s shack, Lydia dis...