Search found 7 matches
- May 14th, 2010, 12:14 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Second redo for Meg O'Brien Wears A Thong
- Replies: 7
- Views: 3127
Re: Second redo for Meg O'Brien Wears A Thong
This is my second time to post my query for feedback. This one is much better than my last, but must need polishing since I have not had any takers from my submissions. I'm looking for kind, constructive critisism - Thanks -Chris48 As a Massage Therapist, Meg O’Brien is in the business of making pe...
- February 20th, 2010, 3:37 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query for 'Hard Rock'- Commercial Fiction
- Replies: 11
- Views: 5103
Re: Query for 'Hard Rock'- Commercial Fiction
Thanks to those that read and to those that replied. Elizabeth,I will work on adding something to help the reader connect with Guy.
- February 11th, 2010, 10:18 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query for 'Hard Rock'- Commercial Fiction
- Replies: 11
- Views: 5103
Re: Query for 'Hard Rock'- Commercial Fiction
Here's version 2. Dear Ms. Agent: Guy Morgan, private investigator, receives a surprise visit from his high school nemesis, rock star, Marc Sloane, on the eve of a comeback tour. Sloane reveals he is receiving death threats and hires Guy as his bodyguard. Guy needs quick cash to repay a poker debt f...
- February 11th, 2010, 10:36 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query -- Platinum Donkeys
- Replies: 21
- Views: 7347
Re: Query -- Platinum Donkeys
I like the title and I would start the query with it, thus: The Platinum Donkeys are mad geniuses . I don't get the sense of whether Maggie is inherently good or evil. What's her motive for committing murder? How come she's suddenly insane? At this stage, you should wrote too much, rather than too l...
- February 11th, 2010, 10:02 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query-- Scatter (Lit. Fic)
- Replies: 27
- Views: 10607
Re: Query-- Scatter (Lit. Fic)
[Personalized bit]. SCATTER is a 114,000 word work of mainstream literary fiction exploring American notions of fate, individualism and community through a doomed love between two girls in small-town Kentucky. I would move this to the end of the query and kick off with the next paragraph. The girls...
- February 11th, 2010, 12:37 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: Folklore
- Replies: 29
- Views: 9979
Re: Query: Folklore
Just a couple of things I noticed. Still too rough I know, but I'm ready for round 2. (I know Remus, it's still too long! I'm trying, really!) Thanks again, you guys! Dear Wonderful Agent, Sixteen-year-old Haley Martin doesn’t like conflict. She keeps her head down and stays out of trouble. She doe...
- February 11th, 2010, 12:29 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query for 'Hard Rock'- Commercial Fiction
- Replies: 11
- Views: 5103
Query for 'Hard Rock'- Commercial Fiction
Thanks for the comments sofar! Version 2 of this query is 5 posts down. Dear Ms. Agent: Smart-mouthed P.I. Guy Morgan doesn't work much; but he does drink half his weight in whisky each day, while exposing the occasional insurance fraud or matrimonial infidelity. When Guy’s old high school nemesis, ...