Search found 7 matches

by austincambridge
May 14th, 2010, 12:14 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Second redo for Meg O'Brien Wears A Thong
Replies: 7
Views: 1578

Re: Second redo for Meg O'Brien Wears A Thong

This is my second time to post my query for feedback. This one is much better than my last, but must need polishing since I have not had any takers from my submissions. I'm looking for kind, constructive critisism - Thanks -Chris48 As a Massage Therapist, Meg O’Brien is in the business of making pe...
by austincambridge
February 20th, 2010, 3:37 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for 'Hard Rock'- Commercial Fiction
Replies: 11
Views: 2388

Re: Query for 'Hard Rock'- Commercial Fiction

Thanks to those that read and to those that replied. Elizabeth,I will work on adding something to help the reader connect with Guy.
by austincambridge
February 11th, 2010, 10:18 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for 'Hard Rock'- Commercial Fiction
Replies: 11
Views: 2388

Re: Query for 'Hard Rock'- Commercial Fiction

Here's version 2. Dear Ms. Agent: Guy Morgan, private investigator, receives a surprise visit from his high school nemesis, rock star, Marc Sloane, on the eve of a comeback tour. Sloane reveals he is receiving death threats and hires Guy as his bodyguard. Guy needs quick cash to repay a poker debt f...
by austincambridge
February 11th, 2010, 10:36 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query -- Platinum Donkeys
Replies: 21
Views: 3276

Re: Query -- Platinum Donkeys

I like the title and I would start the query with it, thus: The Platinum Donkeys are mad geniuses . I don't get the sense of whether Maggie is inherently good or evil. What's her motive for committing murder? How come she's suddenly insane? At this stage, you should wrote too much, rather than too l...
by austincambridge
February 11th, 2010, 10:02 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query-- Scatter (Lit. Fic)
Replies: 27
Views: 4834

Re: Query-- Scatter (Lit. Fic)

[Personalized bit]. SCATTER is a 114,000 word work of mainstream literary fiction exploring American notions of fate, individualism and community through a doomed love between two girls in small-town Kentucky. I would move this to the end of the query and kick off with the next paragraph. The girls...
by austincambridge
February 11th, 2010, 12:37 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query: Folklore
Replies: 29
Views: 4232

Re: Query: Folklore

Just a couple of things I noticed. Still too rough I know, but I'm ready for round 2. (I know Remus, it's still too long! I'm trying, really!) Thanks again, you guys! Dear Wonderful Agent, Sixteen-year-old Haley Martin doesn’t like conflict. She keeps her head down and stays out of trouble. She doe...
by austincambridge
February 11th, 2010, 12:29 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for 'Hard Rock'- Commercial Fiction
Replies: 11
Views: 2388

Query for 'Hard Rock'- Commercial Fiction

Thanks for the comments sofar! Version 2 of this query is 5 posts down. Dear Ms. Agent: Smart-mouthed P.I. Guy Morgan doesn't work much; but he does drink half his weight in whisky each day, while exposing the occasional insurance fraud or matrimonial infidelity. When Guy’s old high school nemesis, ...