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- June 12th, 2017, 7:10 pm
- Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Topic: Page Critique Tuesday 6/13
- Replies: 1
- Views: 2731
The first thing that comes to mind is that the opening is disjointed. The author has tried to cram too many things, including backstory, into the opening graphs. Consider that the first question your reader might ask is "what's going to happen to Character next ?" Character has just been thrown from...