Search found 28 matches
- August 16th, 2010, 4:02 pm
- Forum: Nominate Your Query or First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Topic: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
- Replies: 720
- Views: 453562
Re: Nominate Your First Page for a Critique on the Blog
Title: On The Corner of Here and After Genre: YA Paranormal 251 words Life pulled the plug on humans at two on a Sunday afternoon. At first I didn't realize I was dead. The event happened so suddenly that I'll bet it caught everyone off guard. I remembered looking down at the law school application ...
- August 16th, 2010, 3:46 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
- Replies: 24
- Views: 8709
Re: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
HERE ARE THE LATEST VERSIONS Welp, it's been a little while, but I'm back. Real Life (tm) has a way of disrupting my writing life. I've come up with some new titles and thought I'd toss 'em out to see what you guys think. The original, of course, is GHOSTS vs ALIENS which hasn't received too many f...
- June 2nd, 2010, 12:17 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
- Replies: 24
- Views: 8709
Re: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
Thanks, GiTM! My universe follows different laws as do most paranormal/urban fantasy books, so "ghosts" in this sense are different than the classical definition. They're not bound to haunt the place of their death or anything like that and in fact are finding just as many mysteries in the...
- May 22nd, 2010, 1:27 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
- Replies: 24
- Views: 8709
Re: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
Thanks for all the input!! I tweaked the original a little trying to de-confuse the confusing parts. So here goes! The day humanity died sucked for Lucy. No high school graduation, no prom, and forget law school. But Lucy's never taken anything lying down even if, technically, her dead body is slump...
- May 21st, 2010, 4:28 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
- Replies: 24
- Views: 8709
Re: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
Jade, your point is well made regarding the title. I had actually changed it to GHOSTS AND ALIENS at one point but never could get the whole Versus thing out of my head. You know how those things get stuck up in there right? BigHead, they do see other ghosts from times past, but not much. I have rea...
- May 21st, 2010, 12:12 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: QUERY: SPIRIT HILL - Revision #3
- Replies: 37
- Views: 13104
Re: QUERY: SPIRIT HILL - Revision #3
I read through the entire post including the various revisions. The last one you posted seems stronger than the rest. I think you need to start with the protag in the first sentence, not the baby boy. How about something like: In the spring of 1938, Gus loses his baby boy to death, his wife to depre...
- May 21st, 2010, 11:48 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: SF Query: THE ARTIFACT COMPETITION
- Replies: 45
- Views: 16381
Re: SF Query: THE ARTIFACT COMPETITION
Jav Holson is one of the Viscain Empire's elite soldiers, given immense power by the Emperor's gift of an Artifact. But his Artifact, the Ritual Mask, was never meant to last, and when it fails, Jav is a dead man. Unless, that is, he can win a new, permanent Artifact in a competition to be held in ...
- May 21st, 2010, 11:23 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
- Replies: 24
- Views: 8709
Re: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
Thanks guys! Living creatures refers to all non-human life on earth. The humans are dead. All of them. (Well except one, but shhh! Secret.) The remnants of human civilization would be buildings, dead bodies, etc. Apparently I didn't do a very good job of clarifying the situation, so I'll need to spr...
- May 19th, 2010, 4:32 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
- Replies: 24
- Views: 8709
Query: GHOSTS VS ALIENS
Hi all! I've contributed to these forums off and on for a while, so if you take a gander, I'll be sure to return the favor. LATEST VERSION IS ON PAGE 2 WITH A BANNER WRITTEN IN FIRE ENGINE RED AND THE POSSIBILITY OF FREE CUPCAKES! Dear Agent: The day everyone died sucked for Lucy. No high school gra...
- May 19th, 2010, 4:24 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: The Super Incredible Pre-Agent Tester!
- Replies: 29
- Views: 10612
Re: The Super Incredible Pre-Agent Tester!
1) Yes
2) Form rejection
The query is long and rambles a bit so it took a couple of reads to get plot. You could probably condense it quite a bit and maybe start with the Mayans still being around bit.
2) Form rejection
The query is long and rambles a bit so it took a couple of reads to get plot. You could probably condense it quite a bit and maybe start with the Mayans still being around bit.
- May 19th, 2010, 4:13 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: BROKEN MIRROR, new query, new delivery
- Replies: 38
- Views: 12753
Re: BROKEN MIRROR, new query, new delivery
BROKEN MIRROR is a 45,500 word work of literary fiction. Thematically similar to Charlotte Perkins Gilman's "The Yellow Wallpaper," it uses second person narration to ask whether there is anything that is truly unforgivable. {Extra crap to demonstrate that I've done my homework about your ...
- May 19th, 2010, 3:41 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: QUERY - crime/police fiction
- Replies: 32
- Views: 11709
Re: QUERY - crime/police fiction
September, 1970. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas because nobody gives a damn. Then a man with two slugs in his head is discovered in his car outside a casino. Bad for business. Great hook. The passive voice is ok, but you could also use "Then a man with two slugs in his head turns up in h...
- May 19th, 2010, 3:25 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: query #2: The Suburban Spy, edited
- Replies: 10
- Views: 3857
Re: query: The Suburban Spy
The first sentence made me at first think you were asking a question for some reason. Overall I like the query, but some minor changes might help. I like the Dragnet (just the facts) tone this query puts in my head. How about changing that first sentence like so: Meet Liz Murdock, suburban mom of tw...
- March 15th, 2010, 4:11 pm
- Forum: Finding An Agent
- Topic: Mentioning Past Requested Material in a Query
- Replies: 6
- Views: 2845
Re: Mentioning Past Requested Material in a Query
Yes. I've mentioned previously requested materials to any agents who have done so in the past and almost all of them request at least a partial on the current project.
- March 15th, 2010, 4:08 pm
- Forum: Finding An Agent
- Topic: Which email provider do you send queries from?
- Replies: 14
- Views: 4849
Re: Which email provider do you send queries from?
I've used gmail and MS Outlook to send queries. Before I send anything, I usually send a test query/sample pages to several of my email accounts spanning hotmail, gmail, my corporate email, and Earthlink. Everything usually comes out just fine. I do a copy/paste from my manuscript in MS Word directl...