Search found 11 matches

by Andrewauthor
September 7th, 2010, 12:06 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Forty Winks - YA paranormal adventure
Replies: 12
Views: 2583

Re: Forty Winks - YA paranormal adventure

TAKE 3! Woo! Closer every time. To comment on comments above: With my premise, it's hard not to repeat the words "nightmare" and dream. Any suggestions for mixing it up are appreciated. As far as it being a little anemic, I'm trying not to introduce too many of the other characters subplots, or even...
by Andrewauthor
September 5th, 2010, 11:21 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Forty Winks - YA paranormal adventure
Replies: 12
Views: 2583

Re: Forty Winks - YA paranormal adventure

Thank you all for your advice! I tried rewording it a little, and making sure the focus is on my protagonist, Gabe. Gabriel Aisling’s little sister suffers from night terrors, a disorder afflicting children that causes intense nightmares. But when they put her in a coma, Gabe is forced to use his ow...
by Andrewauthor
August 31st, 2010, 9:43 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: MAGE STORM, YA Fantasy Novel
Replies: 4
Views: 1023

Re: MAGE STORM, YA Fantasy Novel

Meredith wrote:
His father only grunted in reply.
Ditch that bit. I'm jealous. This is really tight writing. Give us something that NEEDS critiquing.
by Andrewauthor
August 31st, 2010, 5:08 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Forty Winks first page -YA paranormal adventure
Replies: 9
Views: 2624

Forty Winks first page -YA paranormal adventure

Thanks in advance for any advice offered. All constructive compliments welcome. I'll take extra effort to critique the works of people who help me out (where I can, of course. I wouldn't even know where to begin helping someone write historical fiction, for example) Also, I'd love comments on my que...
by Andrewauthor
August 31st, 2010, 4:50 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: 1st page: BOB - YA dystopian *Take #3*
Replies: 28
Views: 7491

Re: 1st page: BOB - YA dystopian *Take #3*

Many thanks to all the people who've already taken the time to give me feedback. Here's the latest incarnation of my first page (roughly). The first sentence is still giving me fits, but it's the best I've been able to come up with so far. What do you think (about the first sentence and/or the rest...
by Andrewauthor
August 28th, 2010, 12:15 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Forty Winks - YA paranormal adventure
Replies: 12
Views: 2583

Forty Winks - YA paranormal adventure

ANOTHER EDIT! You all have been wonderfully helpful. The newest version is at the bottom of the page. Closer every time! EDIT: Take 2 is at the bottom of the page. Thanks again for advice. And yes, I realize that the timing for a dream adventure is questionable (inception/Awake, etc). But I started ...
by Andrewauthor
August 27th, 2010, 11:55 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: WHAT A PAINE! Take 2
Replies: 3
Views: 692

Re: WHAT A PAINE! Take 2

Let me begin by saying: I would read this. The first thing I see is that you establish a very interesting world in your query. But I'm not sure what the primary conflict of the story is, if there is one. Is it the kidnapped people? or her kids disappearing? or her devil mother in law? I don't fault ...
by Andrewauthor
January 15th, 2010, 4:36 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Soooo, when's that book of yours going to be done?
Replies: 5
Views: 1096

Re: Soooo, when's that book of yours going to be done?

I hate this question. I've been struggling for some time to finish a novel, so my response is usually "Well, it's coming along. I'm just working on some revisions right now", and allow that period of revisions to last indefinitely
by Andrewauthor
January 15th, 2010, 4:34 pm
Forum: Self-Publishing
Topic: The Internet Is Shiny
Replies: 8
Views: 1959

Re: The Internet Is Shiny

It can be very intimidating.
by Andrewauthor
January 15th, 2010, 4:32 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Researching for a Young adult novel…or…
Replies: 9
Views: 1987

Re: Researching for a Young adult novel…or…

Ah... would that I could get the same humorous, yet compelling style of Joss Whedon manages with his television shows
by Andrewauthor
January 14th, 2010, 11:22 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Gender in fiction
Replies: 1
Views: 696

Gender in fiction

I offer my thanks to Nathan Bransford for his insight into the publishing industry and creating a vicious, cutthroat competition to throw in our two cents. I’d like to share my own thoughts on gender in fiction and even fiction AS a gender. With as few credible citations http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki...