Search found 5 matches
- July 13th, 2014, 8:49 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: YA Romance Query. V.O.I.C.E
- Replies: 2
- Views: 4257
Re: YA Romance Query. V.O.I.C.E
Hi, Rebecca! I agree with the suggestions kenpochick made. There's a great conflict there - she and her step brother are in love! Focus the first line on that. Not sure if you were putting up a draft for review purposes but it doesn't read like a polished, final version. A tip I found useful: read i...
- July 11th, 2014, 3:38 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: Daughters of Meduse
- Replies: 2
- Views: 3722
Query: Daughters of Meduse
Hi everyone! I'm a newbie to these forums, though I have been on query critiquing boards in the past. I've a new query that I've been working out and would love some feedback to make it better. Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to read and make suggestions! Dear Awesome Agent: Vee Maso...
- July 11th, 2014, 3:33 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Romantic Fantasy Query
- Replies: 2
- Views: 5072
Re: Romantic Fantasy Query
Hi Amanda! Congrats on the partial - first of many I'm sure. To me, this query gives a bit too much backstory. It could also use some tightening up, and more detail to make it really come alive. I've dashed off a quick revision to illustrate what I mean (with silly details as placeholders). Hope yo...
- July 11th, 2014, 3:06 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query for Recoded Volume I: Alan and Rachael
- Replies: 2
- Views: 3141
Re: Query for Recoded Volume I: Alan and Rachael
Hi Alan. I've got some suggestions on your query that I hope you will find helpful. Dani Redfield dreamed of a beach the night her parents fought. The sun warmed her face, unlike the fever that burned her body. The grey eyes had watched her there; staring in their scary way, frightening and alien a...
- July 11th, 2014, 2:53 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Query: The Forest and the Sea
- Replies: 8
- Views: 7574
Re: Query: The Forest and the Sea
Hi there! Interesting story you've got there. I've got a few suggestions for you. I am seeking agency representation for The Forest and the Sea, a completed 65,000-word coming-of-age story with glimmers of magical realism. A man awakes in the ocean without sight or memory, clinging desperately to a...