Search found 6 matches

by COFFEE@3AM
March 29th, 2013, 8:48 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA QUERY REVISED...
Replies: 1
Views: 3005

Re: YA QUERY REVISED...

I am no expert, these are just my thoughts. Please take or leave any of my suggestions. Dear.... Rosa never thought she’d make it to sixteen. (I think I see what you are trying to do here, grab the reader's attention, but it doesn't really go with the rest of the query. Why doesn't she think she wi...
by COFFEE@3AM
March 29th, 2013, 2:29 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query!! Please be honest and give any suggestions
Replies: 3
Views: 3248

Re: Query!! Please be honest and give any suggestions

My book has a romantic story between my main character and her rescuer that I have been trying to work into my Query so how about this: Dear Agent, Sixteen-year-old Cara Smalls' world is turned upside down when she becomes the victim of a demon attack. Tristan, her rescuer, tells her that he is a me...
by COFFEE@3AM
March 29th, 2013, 12:50 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Query
Replies: 2
Views: 3108

Re: YA Query

I am no expert there are just some thoughts that KI had after reading your query. After she is attacked by fallen angels, Ava Monroe—a seventeen-year-old with a weakness for grilled cheeses and all things Jane Austen– must learn how to wield the power of her bloodline or risk being caught and torme...
by COFFEE@3AM
March 29th, 2013, 12:18 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Looking for Honest Feedback
Replies: 6
Views: 4442

Re: Looking for Honest Feedback

I don't have any feedback besides what was already said but I would totally read your book!!
by COFFEE@3AM
March 29th, 2013, 12:06 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query!! Please be honest and give any suggestions
Replies: 3
Views: 3248

Query!! Please be honest and give any suggestions

Dear Agent, When sixteen-year-old Cara Smalls becomes the victim of a demon attack, her rescuers tell her that they are members of a secret organization called The Order. The Order's mission: protect the key to the prison that holds Lucifer captive from his army of fallen angels who wish to set him ...
by COFFEE@3AM
March 28th, 2013, 11:59 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Earth Bleeds Red- Query Help
Replies: 18
Views: 11811

Re: The Earth Bleeds Red- Query Help

I am no expert so please take or leave any of my advice. My suggestions are in () Dear Mr. x, When Scott and Jessie's daughter is kidnapped, divers scouting the local river discover the body of another girl. (I would rework the hook it doesn't seem to blend well together. What does the body of a dif...