Search found 12 matches

by boatbuilder
April 8th, 2014, 11:15 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for A TAINT IN PUTNAM
Replies: 1
Views: 2051

Query for A TAINT IN PUTNAM

I would appreciate any comments you would be willing to give on this thing. I call it a thing because I’m still not sure it resembles a query. Thank you all in advance. Dear Prudence As the embedded email photo loaded, reality slipped into nightmare for Bobbi Johnson. The recurring nightmare followe...
by boatbuilder
July 20th, 2013, 10:37 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Heck, I called it a thriller. lets see.
Replies: 2
Views: 1225

Heck, I called it a thriller. lets see.

It has been a while and I hope this one lights a few fires. It ios very hard to find queries for thrillers out there. I have tried to find a way to grab some attention. I hope this works. Thanks in advance for any comments or critiques. We had thought we were lucky. The attack had broken on the pili...
by boatbuilder
May 14th, 2013, 4:45 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for ST. JOHNS: a new outlook
Replies: 3
Views: 6659

Re: Query for ST. JOHNS: a new outlook

Thank you both. I am trying and it is difficult. Please tell me if this is any closer, because I obviously don't have a clue When the man walked into his employee’s, Vicky, hospital room, it barely registered on Justin Thomas. He was tired and worried about his employee. They had come to the area tw...
by boatbuilder
May 7th, 2013, 8:42 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query for ST. JOHNS: a new outlook
Replies: 3
Views: 6659

Query for ST. JOHNS: a new outlook

Sorry that I have commented in a while. I hope it will not stop you from commenting on this query. Thanks in advance for any comments. For several years all of the Federal Law Enforcement Agencies have been looking. All they have are whispers and theories. It started with three beautiful young Ameri...
by boatbuilder
February 21st, 2013, 10:36 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: questions on a speculative thriller query
Replies: 4
Views: 2717

Re: questions on a speculative thriller query

Is this this a query? When Justin Thomas returned from Atlanta he had it all. He had a 10 million dollar a year contract, new friends and allies and his best friend at his side. He also had the nastiest bruise you will ever see on his shoulder. This came from the bulletproof vest that had done its j...
by boatbuilder
February 21st, 2013, 5:50 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: questions on a speculative thriller query
Replies: 4
Views: 2717

Re: questions on a speculative thriller query

Thank you both. Yes I am scientifically trained and it is a hard thing for me to get past the passive writing part. I'll let it stew for a couple of days and try again.
by boatbuilder
February 21st, 2013, 9:24 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: questions on a speculative thriller query
Replies: 4
Views: 2717

questions on a speculative thriller query

I would appreciate it if anyone can think of a way to shorten this query. Any other comments would also be welcome. I hope the concept works. It is a rather long book but I think speculative, sci-fi and fantasies can support this length. Hope you enjoy it. Justin Thomas is an inventor with a few suc...
by boatbuilder
February 19th, 2013, 10:02 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: What's wrong with it, please be critical
Replies: 7
Views: 3779

Re: What's wrong with it, please be critical

Let me first say that I also have problems with queries. I will pass on what little I have learned. There are many things that will cause an agent to push the form reject button during the three minutes that they use to put queries into their two piles. These are some. 1) Calling something the Woodl...
by boatbuilder
February 19th, 2013, 7:26 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: new query for a thriller
Replies: 3
Views: 3756

new query for a thriller

I thank you in advance for any comment. Query for St. Johns Daphne Flowers’ stock in trade had gone up as the economy had gone down. An FDLE Agent, Daphne was a practicing forensic accountant. This meant she followed the money. She was good at it, much to the dismay of many Ponzi and Pyramid schemer...
by boatbuilder
February 13th, 2013, 6:48 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: query for a thriller
Replies: 2
Views: 2036

Re: query for a thriller

Wow, I was strting to think it would be much harder. Thank you very much
by boatbuilder
February 13th, 2013, 12:42 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: My Query for The Elements (Book I)
Replies: 3
Views: 2334

Re: My Query for The Elements (Book I)

Great concept but the query is somewhat wordy . Try to streamline it to around 250 words. It is also confusing because you have too many names in the text.

Using double spaces between your paragraphs will make it a little easier to read
by boatbuilder
February 13th, 2013, 12:20 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: query for a thriller
Replies: 2
Views: 2036

query for a thriller

I wish to thank you all in advance. I just found this site and will attempt to visit it on a regular basis. QUERY FOR ST. JOHNS Justin Thomas had recently started an environmental company. With two new contracts up near Putnam County he packed up his boat and newest employee to start on them. One jo...