Search found 15 matches

by garnell wallace
October 7th, 2012, 5:05 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: The Vampire Next Door-Paranormal Romance- Synopsis-1st Draft
Replies: 2
Views: 4623

Re: The Vampire Next Door-Paranormal Romance- Synopsis-1st Draft

Thanks Shipple for all your wonderful advice. I've made some changes that hopefully makes the synopsis a lot better. I also made a shorter version for those agents who only want a page or two but your advice really helped me to polish it so much more. Thanks for the fresh eyes! RAINE JENSEN was born...
by garnell wallace
September 23rd, 2012, 3:36 pm
Forum: Synopses and Plot Outlines
Topic: The Vampire Next Door-Paranormal Romance- Synopsis-1st Draft
Replies: 2
Views: 4623

The Vampire Next Door-Paranormal Romance- Synopsis-1st Draft

Hello Everyone, This is my first attempt at a synopsis; which was as hard to write as the query. I plan to submit to one agent who wants a 3-5 paragraph synopsis, but I decided to do a longer one in anticipation for those agents who will request it. I'm thinking once I get the longer one as perfect ...
by garnell wallace
August 19th, 2012, 10:58 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Need Help With Query
Replies: 16
Views: 4767

Re: Need Help With Query

I intend to do just that and focus on perfecting the book before I begin quering agents in September. While I wait to hear from them I'll begin work on the dreaded synopsis but after revising the book four times and the query about forty, I'm hoping writing the synopsis won't be as difficult. But th...
by garnell wallace
August 18th, 2012, 5:32 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Need Help With Query
Replies: 16
Views: 4767

Re: Need Help With Query

Hi geogstacey, Thanks for your advice. Hopefully this raises the stakes without giving too much detail and slowing the flow of the query. Dear Agent, Raine Jensen grew up with devoutly religious parents who labeled everything as good or evil, and seeing ghosts was definitely evil. At thirteen, Raine...
by garnell wallace
August 16th, 2012, 2:14 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Need Help With Query
Replies: 16
Views: 4767

Re: Need Help With Query

I like this version, it flows nicely. One suggestion: your comment earlier implied that something specific happens that prevents Roman from killing Raine, and thus allowing time for his (conflicted) feelings towards her to develop. Is there a way to work that into the query? I feel like it would ra...
by garnell wallace
August 14th, 2012, 11:12 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Need Help With Query
Replies: 16
Views: 4767

Re: Need Help With Query

Hi Kristie, Thanks again for your wonderful advice. Instead of explaning some of the areas that were a little confusing I decided to just revise them and hopefully now it's better. An agent could have the same reaction you did but I won't get a chance to explain myself and if I have to it means the ...
by garnell wallace
August 13th, 2012, 5:12 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Need Help With Query
Replies: 16
Views: 4767

Query Revision

Here is the revised query. Any feedback welcome. Dear Agent, Raine Jensen grew up with devoutly religious parents who labeled everything as good or evil, and seeing ghosts was definitely evil. At thirteen Raine's black and white world blurs to gray after she helps a ghost bring her killer to justice...
by garnell wallace
August 13th, 2012, 4:30 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Need Help With Query
Replies: 16
Views: 4767

Re: Need Help With Query

Hello gnf, Thanks for your advice on my query. It always helps to have fresh eyes look at something you've read a thousand times. My comments are in red. Thirty-year-old Raine Jensen grew up with devoutly religious parents who labeled everything as good or evil, and seeing ghosts was definitely evil...
by garnell wallace
August 12th, 2012, 3:33 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Need Help With Query
Replies: 16
Views: 4767

query revised

Revised Query Dear Agent, Thirty-year-old Raine Jensen grew up with devoutly religious parents who labeled everything as good or evil, and seeing ghosts was definitely evil. Her black and white world blurs to gray after Raine helps a ghost bring her killer to justice. Still Raine fears being a mediu...
by garnell wallace
August 12th, 2012, 12:59 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Need Help With Query
Replies: 16
Views: 4767

Re: Need Help With Query

Hello Lurking Virologist, Thank you so much for all your suggestions, I think many of them were very good. There are some choices I'd like to explain though. Red is something I'd consider deleting , and blue text is linked to [a comment] "Thirty-year-old Raine Jensen grew up with devoutly religious ...
by garnell wallace
August 11th, 2012, 12:05 am
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: Prologue of romance novel
Replies: 2
Views: 4877

Prologue of romance novel

Hello All, Would love any feedback on my query. Thanks in advance. Anastasia Bach felt the long, cold skeletal hands of death reach for her, but she managed to evade its deadly grasp. The dark angel would have to catch her, and she had no intention of letting that happen until she’d made a plea for ...
by garnell wallace
August 10th, 2012, 11:59 pm
Forum: Excerpts
Topic: First 637 words of my novel, The Phoenix: A Gathering
Replies: 10
Views: 5750

Re: First 637 words of my novel, The Phoenix: A Gathering

Hi Kristie, I happen to like prologues! Writers often use them to give insight into a different character from the main POV. In revising yours I think you have to think about how this person and this information will play out in the rest of the book. Are there things about him that will affect the m...
by garnell wallace
August 10th, 2012, 9:43 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Need Help With Query
Replies: 16
Views: 4767

Revision of Query

Thanks to Kristie, here is the improved version. Dear Agent, Thirty-year-old Raine Jensen grew up with devoutly religious parents who labeled everything as good or evil, and seeing ghosts was definitely evil. The black and white her parents taught her to see blur to gray after Raine helps a ghost br...
by garnell wallace
August 10th, 2012, 12:38 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Need Help With Query
Replies: 16
Views: 4767

Need Help With Query

Hello everyone, I'd love some feedback on my query. I am concerned about creating a voice and giving a good sense of what my book is about. Dear Agent, Raine Jensen grew up with overly-religious parents who labeled everything as good or evil, and seeing ghosts was definitely evil. The line blurs a l...
by garnell wallace
August 10th, 2012, 11:47 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE
Replies: 16
Views: 4945

Re: Revised Query for THE FINAL CLUE

Hello, I am new to this forum. I really like the concept of your book. I agree that Nora Roberts' Blue Smoke sounds like a good read for you. This sounds like a romance and I'd like to see more of the conflict between Gina and Joey. What has she experienced in her life that makes her want to run fro...