Search found 116 matches

by Shipple
April 3rd, 2013, 9:45 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Cursed: YA Fantasy Query
Replies: 4
Views: 3546

Re: Cursed: YA Fantasy Query

As I was reading, I compiled a few thoughts: "a spell that removed the memory of him from existence, all because of a tiny threat." is awkwardly phrased and a little confusing. Is it relevant that Prince Renald of Wintergreen is his "greatest enemy and cousin"? I'm guessing so, but if so, we'd proba...
by Shipple
March 30th, 2013, 11:47 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Looking for Honest Feedback
Replies: 6
Views: 3645

Re: Looking for Honest Feedback

Thanks for the nice message on my query. Good luck revising yours. I'm glad you found my suggestions to be helpful. I know that I had sooooo many different versions of my query that just did not convey the tone of the book and were, therefore, quite boring (or at least not interesting enough). I kno...
by Shipple
March 29th, 2013, 9:42 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Earth Bleeds Red- Query Help
Replies: 18
Views: 10427

Re: The Earth Bleeds Red- Query Help

I like this much better! You still convey the intricacy of the story, and now I'm not distracted by what I think the narrator ought to be feeling. I've given several of my opinions on the revised query below. Keep in mind that everybody's opinion is subjective, so if you don't like what I have to sa...
by Shipple
March 29th, 2013, 9:30 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Upper MG Fantasy
Replies: 4
Views: 3068

Upper MG Fantasy

Some of you may have seen previous attempts at a query for this book here. I set the book aside for a while and then went through and eliminated many, many scenes to give it a new (more original) focus. So this is a slightly edgier query letter that I've been working on for the past few days. Dear ....
by Shipple
March 29th, 2013, 9:15 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: new query for a thriller
Replies: 3
Views: 3203

Re: new query for a thriller

I can tell you've got a lot of action in your story, which is, of course, perfect for your genre. However, as I was reading through I got a little confused as to why certain things were happening. I commented on a few specifics. The thing about a query letter is that it has to stand completely on it...
by Shipple
March 28th, 2013, 1:07 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: Looking for Honest Feedback
Replies: 6
Views: 3645

Re: Looking for Honest Feedback

It does sound like you've had a very interesting life, Kristina. I think you could quite a few stories. However, I did have a few problems with your query letter. I think the first paragraph is good. You show you know who the agent is and explain why you're querying him. But the second paragraph is ...
by Shipple
March 28th, 2013, 12:51 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: The Earth Bleeds Red- Query Help
Replies: 18
Views: 10427

Re: The Earth Bleeds Red- Query Help

This is not my genre, so I can't comment upon the story. It does like it could be pretty darn scary and fascinating, though. However, I have read that a lot of agents don't like to have the query letter written in the voice of the main character. Of course, there will be some who like things that ot...
by Shipple
March 28th, 2013, 12:40 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Do most authors use Pen Names?
Replies: 3
Views: 1984

Re: Do most authors use Pen Names?

I have to imagine it's not vital to decide on something like this until after you are putting out a book. And, unless you're self-publishing, you can get input from professionals - namely whoever is putting out your book and (if you go that route) your agent. I mean, it's good to built a web presenc...
by Shipple
January 13th, 2013, 12:41 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: "Bad Writing" - a documentary
Replies: 0
Views: 688

"Bad Writing" - a documentary

http://vimeo.com/56625296

Vernon Lott (an English student in his late 30s) wrote a lot of poetry in his 20s that he now recognizes was awful, so he made a documentary about how to recognize bad writing and how to become a good writer. He does a lot of interesting interviews.
by Shipple
January 9th, 2013, 10:43 am
Forum: Books
Topic: Reading as Catharsis
Replies: 3
Views: 1345

Re: Reading as Catharsis

I'm sure this isn't nearly as scientific as you want, but sometimes when I'm angry about something, I'll read a book that will make me happy, and when I'm finished reading, I find that I am a happier person and maybe more willing to not be angry with the person I was fighting with. And not being ang...
by Shipple
January 9th, 2013, 10:35 am
Forum: Writing
Topic: Strangely Quiet
Replies: 8
Views: 1366

Re: Strangely Quiet

I don't think my world has been nearly as hectic and Brenda's, but Christmas time always means family time, and present shopping time, and some writing time, and colds. Right now I have a cold that is really clogging up my brain, which is annoying b/c I took off work and therefore have time to write...
by Shipple
January 9th, 2013, 10:26 am
Forum: Queries
Topic: Query - MG Fantasy
Replies: 5
Views: 1101

Re: Query - MG Fantasy

You guys are right. Here is my revised query: Twelve-year-old Eric's brain and body had been taken over by an evil cacodemon, so his sister hunted down the only people who could help him - the supposedly mythical winged Sentinels. But in exchange for their help, Eric has to live in their town, give ...
by Shipple
December 29th, 2012, 8:17 pm
Forum: Writing
Topic: Desperate for inspiration.
Replies: 5
Views: 1906

Re: Desperate for inspiration.

I completely agree. Everyone needs a vacation from writing sometimes. And if your book is with editors, I'd guess you might be getting it soon for revisions, so soon you'll have more than enough on your plate. Do some reading, watch some TV, go for a walk. All of these things refresh my brain and ca...
by Shipple
December 29th, 2012, 8:05 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: V.O.I.C.E. query- YA Romance
Replies: 6
Views: 1315

Re: V.O.I.C.E. query REVISED 2

Here is my second try at this query! The line in bold is my favorite line...but I feel like it doesn't belong where it is placed right now! Dear (agent) Living with your crush is supposed to be every girls dream come true, but if you’re about to become his step sister it kind of ruins that dream. Y...
by Shipple
December 29th, 2012, 7:41 pm
Forum: Queries
Topic: YA Query—FB
Replies: 5
Views: 1189

Re: YA Query—FB

Yes, I'm around thirty. Sorry I obviously confused you. I wasn't clear enough. I meant "teen speak" a.k.a. using words that teens use, for example, "lol" & "that's so perf". Hold on a sec, I'll check my cousin's FB & for a good example. And here it one of the first things I saw: "Well you are sooooo...