Nathan Bransford - The Forums

I was just reading the archives from the Query Shark and I saw you made it on there. That's great! Congrats! I can also see the polishing you have done here and I really am liking it

Ordinary thirteen-year-old Eric Ortega wakes up surrounded by hospital equipment and covered with a flowered quilt. Before he can figure out what’s going on, a centaur clip-clops in and introduces himself as Eric’s healer. Next, his sister is telling him that he’s been sick, and she married a guy wi...

Thank you for your input everyone :) I appreciate. Here is another shot. Not all of Maylee Tayten’s problems started when she snuck out that night, but the fact that she just witnessed a murder trumps her other issues. Even worse, she knows why they killed him. The time is now, the place is Jerusale...

Thank you so much, Mark. I appreciate your feedback!!!

I'm offering an alternative, this is something I have been working on for a while. Which one works better? Not all of Maylee Tayten’s problems started when she snuck out that night, but the fact that she just witnessed a murder trumps her other issues. Even worse, she knows why they killed him. With...

The sing-song Muslim call to prayer wakes the reader in present-day Jerusalem. In the night, a wealthy Arab merchant has died, leaving behind a deadly secret, pieces of which lay with a disappeared artifacts dealer, a half-cocked homeless man, and an aged Rabbi. The Quest for a Queen leads American ...

I like this one the very best. Rosa is a 16-year-old smart mouth with a dangerous attitude. She makes impulsive and often poor choices. Not a good way to be when you live in the harshly controlled, concrete compounds of the Woodlands. It is her weakness and her greatest strength. It’s why Joseph fel...

Dear Agent, Seven years ago, officer Gina Russo fired a shot in self-defense. It triggered the explosion believed to have incinerated career criminal William Nicholas Mancuso. and everyone thought career criminal WNM was dead. Until now. Now an FBI Agent, Gina starts to receive death threats and poe...

I really like the first line :) I also would like to know more about your characters-- they seem so alive to me with so many emotions, the fact that they are dead makes them even better. I get confused on what is actually happening. How are these people connected? She wakes up dead, so clearly her s...

I definitely want to read this! I agree with Mark, it is a little too long. His idea for a starting line is a great jumping off point.