Nathan Bransford - The Forums

Hey builder, Your query is definitely improving, and it's good that you're taking suggestions and making changes. You've definitely streamlined it. Here are a few thoughts off the top of my head... A) You're jumping between present and past tense a lot, and it's jumbling things up. It also seems to ...

Revision fatigue. I haz it. Thus, I'll distract myself with the literary equivalent of hitting your thumb with a hammer so one stops noticing the headache. Also known as the query letter. I've got two opening lines I'm trying to decide between, then onto the rest of the query. Pick, choose, suggest,...

Recent... Re-read The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brian Updated version of Holiday's On Ice by David Sedaris God Is Not Great by Hitchens The Commitment by Dan Savage I'm about halfway through Forge of Darkness in Steven Erikson's new Kharkanas trilogy, and the amount of backstory bread-crumb layin...

I've never gotten a flu shot on the theory that I'd build up my immune system as much as I could while I was still young & relatively healthy. That's a pretty common sentiment (e.g. I'm not picking on you personally ;) ), but unfortunately the risks outweigh the benefits. Part of the elevated r...

Adding to what's already been said, I think the issue is not so much whether the idea is realistic, so much as just not having it be implausible. The latter bar is easier to clear, and gets lower the funnier and more entertaining the scene is. I for one, as a reader, will forgive a certain amount of...

Interesting to read all the responses here. My WiP is contemporary/UF/paranormal-ish and I'm aiming to cut to around 115K or so. 3 Main PoV characters (roughly equal time given to each) 4 Secondary PoV characters (2-3 scenes each, mostly antagonists) 5ish Non-PoV supporting characters of note (each ...

Getting better, but I still feel like you are info-dumping in the query. Aside from the issues of clarity/confusion mentioned above, my first thought would be "I wonder if the whole book is info-dumpy," which is not an impression you probably want to make. The maggots make a good hook, bot...

Works pretty well as an intro. Only got a few minor suggestions: "When his brain got itself squarely back into his head, Eric’s eyes popped open, and he winced at the sandpaper feel of his eyelids as he blinked awake. His heart was still pounding from an unremembered nightmare, and he was stick...

Interesting news. the FDA has just approved a brand-new vaccine for 2012-2013, which helps to vaccinate three various flu strains. Six companies will be manufacturing the injections. Anybody that has health-related, or immune deficiencies, should check to see if they can get vaccinated as soon as p...

This feels much more like a query letter with an ending appended to it then a synopsis. For example, this entire line is superfluous jacket-cover, and doesn't actually explain anything about the plot: "They must work together to save their kingdom. But in two worlds where reality and identity a...

I think any use of the phrase 'human cloning' will get it pegged as sci-fi, regardless of how the rest of the book sorts out. Just sayin'. Does YA include many sub-genres of science fiction ('hard' science fiction, near future, speculative, etc.)? Fun fact: identical twins are technically clones. OK...

I'd have to say the middle 1/3rd - that awkward point after everything has started rolling, but isn't quite on a collision course yet...Ugg. That's the part that I'm always hardest on myself about. Probably because I already have the climactic scenes in mind, and setting them up just doesn't feel as...

One slight re-wording I'd suggest for the middle big. Also, the phrasing "in/for an experimental attempt to eradicate the human race," sounds slightly weird to me, like the attempt is experimental. Can you clarify that the experiment is part of the attempt? Admittedly a bit nit-picky, but ...

I'm juggling between Origins by Neil deGrasse Tyson and Arguably , the essay collection from Christopher Hitchens. I'd highly recommend both for anyone interested in a lucid, colloquial account of the cosmos (the former), or a beautifully written and at times jaw-droppingly caustic take-down of Amer...

OMG do it. I've become sort of a mess over races. It's like every time new batch of races shows up in my email, I want to run them all. I am not supposed to be running at all right now though while my foot heals up. (ARGH) So frustrating. So you have to run for me. Stay off the foot, lol! I've mana...