Search found 5 matches
- July 10th, 2012, 10:56 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Tidal Wave - YA Fantasy
- Replies: 6
- Views: 3118
Re: Tidal Wave - YA Fantasy
Thank you all for the feedback! The main character thing is an issue because they're both the main characters. I opened with Venice because she has the initial POV in the book. I didn't want the query to feel like the whole thing was about Venice though, because I was worried it would be too confusi...
- July 6th, 2012, 12:34 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Tidal Wave - YA Fantasy
- Replies: 6
- Views: 3118
Tidal Wave - YA Fantasy
Venice met the boy who killed her on the fourteenth of June. On the fifteenth she kissed him. On the twenty-fourth she found out he was cursed. On the twenty-ninth she tried to break it with some salt and a bit of paper. On the thirtieth he drowned her. On the twenty-ninth he felt bad about it. Now...
- July 6th, 2012, 12:28 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: WITH A VENGEANCE: Paranormal Mystery Edited
- Replies: 6
- Views: 3635
Re: WITH A VENGEANCE: Paranormal Mystery Edited
I agree with the previous poster, you have a strong voice. This sounds like a really good book, I'm just not sure you're getting it across very well. The first paragraph feels redundant with the second paragraph, and I also wanted to understand a little more of the why behind it. Why did they kill h...
- July 6th, 2012, 12:05 pm
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: WILD SUNFLOWERS historical women's novel
- Replies: 4
- Views: 3848
Re: WILD SUNFLOWERS historical women's novel
I don't even, I just love this. Your writing is brilliant. The only suggestion I have is that from my query shark reading I know she likes to suggest that you start with your main character right off the bat, but you spend your first sentence giving details like title, setting and word count, then s...
- July 6th, 2012, 11:57 am
- Forum: Queries
- Topic: Seeking help with my query for THE FINAL CLUE
- Replies: 6
- Views: 3292
Re: Seeking help with my query for THE FINAL CLUE
*blink* *head tilt* Have I seen this before? Was your query on query shark? Anyway. I feel like the first version has more suspense in it, because it leaves the reader wondering who the villain is. Setting up three characters feels like a bit too much for a query. Both queries read like they were mi...